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HC HlrSAV Hf DIDN'T PoCS OTTDJ CHOUGH (OfrgH ytM B.tl tfnScu; Im) SUCCESSFUL TOUR "We must go to Stratford," a tourist tour-ist on a visit to England said to his wife. "What'B the use of thatr asked she. "We can buy Stratford postcards post-cards in London." "My dear, one travel for something some-thing more than to Bend postcards! I want to write my name on Shakespeare's Shake-speare's tomb I" Montreal Star. Encouragement At an English theater they were playing "The Forty Thieves," and as the company numbered only eight the entry of the robbers into the cave was achieved by their passing out at the back of the stage and entering en-tering again at the front Unfortunately one of the robbers walked with a limp, and when he had entered five times a voice from the gallery cried: "Stick it, Uoppy; last lap!" (sig-'ome, And He Want Hia Way Sinister-Looking Individual nlflcantly) Is yer 'usband at ma'am? Lady (resourcefully) Well, if he's finished his revolver practice, he'll be playing in the back garden with our bloodhounds. Did you want to see him? London Tit Bits. Hard Luck'a Unit They were discussing their bad luck. "Do you know, Bill," said one, "my luck is so dead out that if I threw a dollar bill into the air it would come down an income tax demand note." The Whole Story "Hello, Smith, old man, haven't seen you for some time." "Been in bed seven weeks." "Oh, that's too bad. Flu, I suppose?" sup-pose?" "Yes, and crashed I" Montreal Star. DODGING THE OLD TASK Wife (pleadingly) John, why are yon staying out every night until after 10 o'clock? Hubby Sh ! Don't you know Bob ble has begun those Infernal geom etry lessons again? Thought Revived Lionel By Jove, old fellow, when a man's in love he begins to think that his eyes are open for the first time! Symoathlzlnif Friend Yes. and when It's all over he sometimes has the same sensation I Vancouver Province. The Grata la Greener Man Did your wife scold you when, you went home so late last night? Friend No. For once I was In lock. The people next door were havlnc a family snat and she was so busy listening that she forgot all about me. Chelsea Record. Prop. Treatment, . Nurse A woman came into our hospital the other day and she was bo cross-eyed that the tears ran right down her neck. Boy Friend You couldn't do any thing for her, could you? Nurse Certainly ; we treated her for bacteria. Pathfinder Magazine. The Real Point British Guide (showing places of Interest) It was In this room that Lord Wellington received his nrst commission I American Tourist (suddenly Inter ested) How much was It? er iiiHi .,i.,. . COnvenianf UI in thi. hu w I iittpm rimo Son.! trvr-. 1 stamps (coins preferred! 9105 tern, lie sure to write NAME, ADDRESS, On BEll and SIZE. Complete, dlajraauMt Included. Send your order to Pattern Departments eenth street, New YorkJ EUREIAt "Ar, Inmeil(l" read flf aloud, "leaped from Uf lng 'iureka! EnreUij ........ ti. tctrhrf IIIIWI, Kt.U j the meaning of 'Eurekil nieitns I have found it," I "Very well. What IwU e ii'i .iA.tiAn-wt rnf fl K..W hpqitiitifi. then ws 1 I fully. "The soap, i-T-j Trllmne. . iMf i'.ut, my dear, Maf little lien pecKeu been talkinff for half 4 haven t sniu a ; "So," snapped W haven't said anything, llsfenine In .,.-nr and I'm not for f."l?ordcr Otl Hi But 1 W) " . of certain autbori f their worn ai ...... ,.m not OU bier do his best w?n "In the ,-i. when he nW keeps the garden J5 Montreal -w u., Vif t Ile-WooldyojPjl money to mewooM1 wiih no car lntt. W0,.."TDiaiil J"8!.B.o:torw, mI-ie".- tliere. 01 a 'I'm otlice ed Mrs. wu-- . but they "I'u vised 1 i iii |