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Show A-14 The Park Record SrtSunMonTues, May 22-25, 2004 I Are you building, buying or renovating a child's room this Spring? -v, I I Galloways has Summit County's largest selection of l ? affordable art prints and custom framing! Cj s Ho way's s " Wish UpoiA Star jf Ol ifts by jjessie Wilcox-Smith , " ftmm m&m mm 1 ihnl J graJlr V! cx r i ! I HI I 5 III Wiley - Soles one) Service free Delivery & Setup 1 (X) financing Rvoiloble Permanent and fully Portable Con you afford ZR0? 12 MOS NO PflVMCNTS NO INKRCST OflC 1 Porli City Since 1976 (801) 568-7050 6835 SOUTH STRTf SflLT LflK CITV (SOI) :.5iS8-7d5'0; mmu.vollcyspas.com MORE P06S ON MAIN STREET By Tom Clyde $2 a gallon - oh my heck! nr. 'J.J - Over the last week I got several e-mails from several people urging me not to buy gas on Wednesday the 19th. The plot was to stage a national nation-al protest against high gas prices. Apparently if everybody boycotted gas on Wednesday, Big Oil would certainly take notice and prices would plunge come Thursday. That'll show those S-O-Bs at the oil companies. Of course, to be prepared for the big "no gas Wednesday" we all had to fill up on Tuesday. Hmmm, what's wrong with this picture? None of the people proposing these demonstrations against high gas prices suggested the possibility of actually buying less. Nobody encouraged taking the bus to work on Wednesday. That would be un-American. un-American. No, we fill up on Tuesday so we are able to boldly participate in the nationwide protest by not filling up on Wednesday, while at the same timel continuing to drive just as much. Still, you have to stand up tor what you believe in -- which in this case appears to be a belief that we bear no responsibility for our own actions. Nobody likes paying more, whether it is for milk, or ski passes. or gas. It was $2.25 a gallon gal-lon last time I filled up, and has gone up since then. By world standards, stan-dards, gas is still cheap in the U.S. The price of crude oil is set on a world-wide market, and refining costs cant vary a lot from country to country. The real difference is that most countries tax oil more heavily than we do. We've adopted a policy of cheap oil, and have been willing to back that up with military mili-tary muscle when necessary. And when world markets mar-kets push the price of crude oil up high enough to cause minor discomfort at the pump, we scream like mashed cats. We protest, we boycott on Wednesday, and do everything we can to let the government know we are unhappy. We do everything except conserve, which is the one thing we can do all by ourselves, right now, through personal decision. Since the first reality check in the 1970s, when the Arab countries refused to sell oil to the U.S. in protest of our policies on Israel, we've done little to really change our oil-burning habits. The two embargos gave life to the Japanese auto industry as we rushed out to buy smaller cars for a few years. But since then, we have moved from small cars to giant SUVs and mini-vans (many of which now come from Japan). Thanks to the wisdom of Congress, those are not subject to the same fuel economy standards as regular cars. In the end, the average fuel economy of all vehicles on the road has actually gone down. We're importing more oil, and are more dependent than ever on the least stable part of the world. We got there by millions of individual indi-vidual choices. Meanwhile, China has discovered the car and 6 We protest, we boycott , on Wednesday, and do everything we can to let the government know we are unhappy. We do everything except conserve, which is the one thing we can do all by ourselves, right now, through personal decision. " the last year. There are physical limits to the number of oil wells currently pumping and the number of tankers available to deliver it around the world. The great Wednesday boycott doesnt build a new tanker or refinery, or encourage the Chinese to go back to bicycling. Some people are demanding that the President release oil from the Strategic Petroleum Reserve, a pool of oil set aside for national emergencies. The government is actually increasing the size of that reserve, which to some extent is increasing the supply sup-ply issues. It's not often that I agree with George Bush, but he's dead right that $2 a gallon is not a national security emergency. The reserve is there so we can get the Air Force in the air in case of war or keep the economy functioning in case of major supply sup-ply disruptions. And the way things are going over in Iraq, the smart money is on a major supply dis- ruption - a tanker blown up where it blocks the loading platform for months, a coup in Saudi Arabia, you name it. I think there is ample opportunity for Bush's policies to create that kind of emergency. But aHaHiaai $2gallon just isn t a national security issue. Cheney said that conservation was a matter of "personal virtue," and had no place in national energy policy. We certainly wouldn't want to take the lead in new technology. Not when we can yield that to the Japanese. The Toyota and Honda hybrid gaselectric cars seem to be a success, and get 50 to 60 miles per gallon. My diesel VW gets 50 miles to the gallon. Ford is all excited about bringing out a new hybrid SUV that will get (drum roll) almost 30 mpg. In other words, they think people will pay extra to buy new (and probably not bug-free) technology tech-nology that produces gas mileage that's no better than a standard car. Those guys in Detroit are geniuses, eh? iYou have to wonder what would happen if the government demonstrated a little leadership, and bought only hybrids for its fleet. That would accelerate accel-erate the development of the technology, and also show a commitment to reducing oil imports. Congress could face the reality that SUVs are not commercial vehicles, but are the standard family car, and require the Ford Expedition to meet the same fuel, emission, and safety standards as the Ford Taurus. Individually, we could make fuel efficiency effi-ciency a factor in purchasing decisions. I can't help wonder how different the world might look these days if we were able to tell the Arabs to keep their oil. They could happily retreat to the Dark Ages withofit affecting us. And nobody would miss them. millions of Chinese are putting down ttetebfcyde!? 5ToW Clyde afomusr city attorney and author of and buying Buicks. I heard on TV the other day that -More Dogs on Main street. " He has been a columnist China's oil imports have increased by a third in just for The Park Record for more than a decade SATURDAY MORNING By Linda Gorton and Monika Guendner Incoming Why is that car making a U-turn in the middle of SR 224? The Utah U-Turn is the state's patented way of differentiating its drivers from others around the country. " 7bu know you've been in Park City too long when J. ...you 're already planning your float for the July 4th parade 2005. Linda is lucky. v As you read, my parents are adjusting their seatbelts in my mother's Honda CRV in preparation for their drive from Sparta, N.J., to Park City. My father will pull out of the garage, unbuckle his seatbelt and hop out to jiggle the doorknob on the front door one last time, while my mother, moth-er, who has seen this ritual at least 10,000 times during their life together, will look at her cat Mickey's face in my sister's old bedroom window and feel a little sad for leaving leav-ing him behind. Those are their idiosyncrasies that are well-known to anyone who has traveled with them. When they arrive, only their second time in Park City, their questions about the area will plague anyone around me like a swarm of Mormon crickets. I am ready this time, though. I have been studying up on ' .' . ' the differences between l hot and cold caffeine consumption and Mormon crickets and gentile crickets. I am also trying to anticipate the differences between Park City and New Jersey that just about any out of town-er town-er will inevitably ask. (Linda, on the other hand, imported her parents years ago, so they know all the quirks and idiosyncrasies of the area and Linda.) Ten Questions Anyone Will Need to Answer for Your Out-of-Town Guests: 1. Why is it snowing in June?Don't you ski in the summer too? Perhaps it does seem a bit odd that yesterday yester-day it was 75 degrees outside, and today the grass is covered cov-ered by a layer of wet white snow. Or that, as an economy based on skiing, we can't do it all year round. You could get into jet streams and micro-climates, or you could just point at Jupiter Peak and remind them that we are about 7,000 feet high. High enough to snow in June, but not high enough to ski year round. . 2. What is going on with my hair? More like, whart not going into your hair.' Like the moisture that is prevalent preva-lent along the East Coast and the reason why Aqua Net is still a big seller out there. Suddenly, it seems possible to do things you've never done before with hair and keep it that way. It rnay take a while to adapt to shorter style times and using less mousse to keep your style in place, but it could be reason enough to move out here. . 3. What are those white things on the mountains? Those are piles of snow that are so large, they remain despite the fact that everything around them has melted. Since it is almost June, they are significantly smaller than the original height that free skiers and snowboarders hurled themselves off of during the winter. Once they melt a little more, they'll be light enough to store with the other moguls. 4. What is this funny-shaped glass thing hidden in the back of your cupboard? Is it a vase? I think you need to dump the water. Yes, yes it is a vase, but not one of my favorites, so we'll just keep it in the back of the cupboard. cup-board. 5. How many wives do you have? Explain polygamy was outlawed in the 1800s, and despite the news coverage that suggests otherwise, most people in Utah are still only married to one woman or one man at a time. You can throw in that you might only have one wife, but she's an eight-cow eight-cow woman. 6. Where can I get a drink? It's easy really. Just approach the speakeasy disguised as an international export company and knock on the door five times. The code word is "applesauce." When the door slides open, extend your hand out for the secret handshake, but for Pete's sake, don't pull out your pinky beyond your shirtsleeve! Or, you can buy the case of beer you just tripped over at the grocery store. 7. Where can I find some shade? Park City doesn't do shade trees really well, so you either have to find enough aspen trees standing close enough together to produce a stripe of shade or you need to invest in one of those fancy cowboy hats. At least if you buy the hat, residents will know you're not a year-round local. 8. Why li that car making a U-turn in the middle of S.R. 224? The Utah U-Turn is the state's patented way of differentiating its drivers from others around the country. It is akin to the Jersey Drift, where a driver moves from the far left lane to the off ramp - across five lanes of heavy traffic - without blinking and in one swift motion. Drivers are no better or worse in Utah than anywhere else, I will tell them, but at least there are fewer of them. 9. What Is the deal with all of the dogs around here? Dogs are the sacred cow of Park City. Mistreatment of, or even disparaging remarks regarding, dogs are regarded as blaspheme and could result in fines, arrest or even physical violence by unmonitored dog vigilante groups. In fact, dogs are so sacred around here that a significant, sig-nificant, portion of the economy is based on dog products and services. 10. What li up with the whole green JeII-0 thing? It is true that Utahns are proud of their rank as the No. 1 consumers of green Jell-O. However, a little known fact is that it is green Jell-0 shooters that are really popular. That is the only possible explanation for its popularity. You would have to be drunk to want that much green Jell-O. Eight-cow woman -A woman of incredible worth A reference to a 1969 BYU movie called "Johnny Lingo," and recognition of the reference may be an indication that you have lived in Utah too long. Linda Gprton and Monika Guendner are two of the hosts of the KPCW Classifieds Show. Linda also works for American Skiing Company. Monika workJ tltree jobs, including business editor at The Park Record. |