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Show Page C4 Thursday, December 27, 1990 Park Record r RE MAX EXECUTIVES (Eaoffly im tSae WaHl Owner Agent Bill & Connie Wiedeman Park City Specialists and they can represent YOU in the purchase of ANYTHING that's on the market in PARK CITY........at NO COST TO YOU! CARRIAGE HOUSE STUDIOS for as little as $32,500 649-9869 645-8612 (FAX) 1-800-628-0230 111 whMie magic at the TrailsEnd Restaurant Fun-filled Evenings with Dinner and Live Entertainment for the Whole Family Every Thursday and Saturday from 6:00 p.m. Ceatissass Tahleside EntsrtalniDent J.m. FadyPriced Cmicrs...$13.S5 Adults, $75 Kids Special Children's Menu Cespfiaxotanr to nrvics mHabli Leara Resort Center at 6:15 p.m. Ysrov Kstel at 620 p.m. Radlssoi Hotel at 6 Retans after cssclesim of sbow at 8) p.i. For ressnratiens, call (CC1 ) &43-S4C3, ert. 29 New Year's inspires good intentions by Ron Georg You go to a friend's house or a bar; you drink too much champagne andor egg nog, the two alcoholic drinks calculated to churn for days; you make noise with children's toys you'll have to hide from the kids during your two-day hangover; at midnight someone you probably detest tries to stick hisher tongue in your mouth; and, finally, it's January 1 time to honor those stupid promises you made to yourself to live a perfect life. Since I won't be going to any of those parties watching wat-ching the calender change dates is every bit as exciting ex-citing as seeing the odometer turn another 10,000 miles I thought I should at least honor society's traditional New Year's party by making a few resolutions. resolu-tions. In front of the snow gods, my parents, and my readers at The Alamo, I hereby resolve to... ...drive as little as possible in my continuing effort to save the world. Seeing as my car has a blown head gasket, that shouldn't be too tough. ...drink as much beer as possible. While the national na-tional average for beer consumption is some 25 gallons a drop in the stein by German averages here in Utah there are way too many people peo-ple skewing those numbers by not drinking a drop (or at least not admitting to it). I'll do my part to maintain main-tain the average for all Utahns. ...ride my snowboard as much as possible. I do get a little nervous with all those skiers flying around out of control-especially since they carry those sharp lances but I've got health insurance. Besides, all those television commercials for Ambulance Chasers and Assoc. give the number to call when you've been injured by a reckless skier. ...continue to make disparaging remarks about insurance in-surance companies and lawyers. If the federal government is going to insist on taking so much of my paycheck, the least they could do is pay for my hospitalization if I get hit by a reckless skier, alleviating the necessity of calling ghouls like Ambulance Am-bulance Chasers and Assoc. -' ...never allow a real estate agent in my house without checking his license, business cards, company com-pany logo pens, agency disclosure forms, signet ring, and whatever other arcane paraphernalia he's carrying. carry-ing. I'll never understand how someone who's got no relationship to the product other than "agent" earns such a fee; if I'm going to inflate the price of my real estate by 7 percent I'll go buy a new motorcycle. ...fix my old motorcycle. Since I'm not selling my house I can't afford a new scoot, and I ought to include in-clude something semi-productive in this list. ...continue to daydream more than my fair share in the hopes I'll come up with the plot to a best-selling pulp novel that will be made into a blockbuster hit movie starring Tom Cruise. If I can't be the next William Shakespeare, I may as well make a buck. ..;grow my hair longer. It's not a protest or anything, I just don't like haircuts. Come to think of it, I'll keep my scruffy beard, too. ...think really hard over something nice to say about George Bush. Wait, I've got it. At least George doesn't come skiing with Dan Quayle; if George's - skiing is anything like his foreign policy, domestic policy, and budget policy, someone would have to call a lawyer after George hit the slopes. There, I tried to say something nice. . ...listen to as many albums with parental warnings as I can. I've already signed my donor card, and I'm hoping that when I go they'll have perfected the brain transplant and mine will go to a teenager with a brain tumor. Take that, Tipper Gore. ...Find a cure for AIDS. Hey, we all have to have something we can't live up to on our resolution lists. ...continue wasting 25 cents every few months exchanging ex-changing correspondence with Ed McMahon. He may be a shameless huckster, but he's got $10 million. I'm not that proud. ...laugh at people from Los Angeles when the slip in the snow and get slush on their fur coats. After all, they'll laugh at me if I hit the beach with my beached-fish complexetion and burn my feet in the sand. ...hoot and holler at Missionaries wherever 1 see them. It's an adolescent habit, but it makes me feel good. If I decide I need religion I'll go to an airport and find a Hare Krishna so keep it off my doorstep. ...start an effort to strike the word "dude" from the English language unless it refers to a place where city ci-ty geeks in cowboy boots go to smell manure and eat overcooked meat. It's only funny when Bart Simpson says it and any of you who want to be Bart Simpson, Simp-son, please raise your hands. ; ...support efforts to bring supermarkets, fast food restaurants, mini-malls, and other rampant development develop-ment to Park City. Park City may look like a quaint, practical little town, but on Main Street you can't buy a pair of underwear that don't look like leftovers from a Madonna video. Is this a town or is it Fan-tasyland? Fan-tasyland? ...spend as much time as possible in Midway. As I . watch what happens to Park City I'm beginning to understand why Will Rogers liked horses more than most people, and Midway has a significant equine population. I can't ride them, but I like being surrounded sur-rounded by creatures that don't call lawyers, build mini-malls, or say "dude." ...stay awake enough to find things to bitch about. If I can make at least one person a week spit up his coffee and pop a blood vessel, I've got enough reason to make it through 1991. IFairlk lib .Befl: Subscription Rates: 52 issues, mailed weekly $15 in Summit County, Utah $27 outside Summit County name. address. city. .state .zip. me $ enclosed Charge my VISA MASTERCARD Card no: - - ' - O Expiration date Signature ' |