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Show Page A12 Thursday, September 8, 1988 Park Record Wlnsadldl9ysa JEREMY RANG: BANK OWNED HOMES BY RICK BROUGII Silt . IS.. I v:v::::::::::::x:::::::::: H A Imported from Colorado In the last few weeks, the American people have had to deal with an entirely new environmental problem. We know about smog exuded from our nation's freeways; about the noxious gases produced pro-duced by Geneva Steel or a Kennecott mine. We're accustomed to chlorine spills on the highway or the occasional nuclear-plant accident. But what is all this haze and smoke and stuff floating our way from Yellowstone, Emigration Canyon and other forest sites? This week, Interior Secretary Donald Hodel held a press conference to explain the situation to a mob of anxious, curious reporters. "Mr. Secretary," yelled Sam Donaldson. "We've had reports of thousands of acres being destroyed in the Rocky Mountain West, coinciding with extremely hot temperatures. Tell us straight, what's the story out there?" "Gentlemen," said Hodel. "Our woodlands in the west are being threatened by an environmental environmen-tal crisis. In Forest Service jargon, it is know as a Forest Inflammation Regional Emergency or FIRE, for short." A reporter from Cable News Network asked, "How does this so-called 'fire work? Is it caused by acid rain? Is it a meltdown, like Chernobyl?" "No, it's very similar to what you do in your own homes every winter. You build a small pile of small logs, wood and kindling at the bottom of your chimney. Then you light it, and the blaze provides pro-vides cheery warmth for your living room. A fire is the same thing, only it burns an entire tree or groups of trees." "So, what's the problem?" asked the Washington Post. "Why don't you push the logs back with your poker and draw the screen in front of it?" "This is too big for that," said Hodel. "This fire blazes hundreds of feet in the air. And it spreads from tree to tree until you have, potentially, hundreds hun-dreds of square miles on fire." CBS News asked, "Can you tell us why it has been the policy of the Forest Service to maintain large regions of trees when you knew these things were highly flammable?" "I wouldn't say they were highly flammable," said Hodel. "Ordinarily, our nation's forests provide pro-vide pleasure to millions of people with their natural beauty. It's only with very dry conditions, like the recent summer, that they pose a problem. Again, it's similar to what we all do when we put Christmas trees in our homes.- When the tree-becomes tree-becomes dry, it can be set on fire by an electrical short in an old, frayed string of Christmas lights." "Wait a minute, Mr. Secretary," said Donaldson. "Are you telling us that your depart ment has been stringing miles of Christmas lights through our national forests? I think the American people have a right to know who is responsible for this expensive, short-sighted program, and why you're putting up Christmas decorations in the middle of summer." "We aren't. These fires are started by lightning strikes, or people being careless with matches." "Mr. Secretary, what about this 'controlled burn' policy you're allowing in Yellowstone?" asked The New York Times. Hodel replied, "That theory says we can allow some of the region to destroy itself without the whole region going up in flames?" "Mr. Secretary, did you get this idea from the same guy who set up your Middle East policy? " The questions were coming thick and fast. "Mr. Hodel, I thought these fires only started in tall skyscrapers, like The Towering Inferno ! " "Mr. Secretary," asked a reporter from a right-wing right-wing newspaper. "Aren't these forests just a breeding ground for a permanent underclass of welfare-leeching elk, squirrels and bears who mooch hot dogs from hard-working taxpayers and contribute nothing to the economy themselves? " "Mr. Hodel," asked ABC News. "How do you stop these fires?" "The conventional method is to use water. I'm glad someone mentioned 'The Towering Inferno.' You remember in that picture, Steve McQueen put out the fire by blowing up that giant water tank." "Sir, does that mean Steve McQueen has been brought in on this situation? " "No, I'm sorry. Our sources tell us that Steve McQueen is dead," said Hodel. "With God's help, we'll stop these fires," he continued. con-tinued. "More to the point, ordinary citizens can prevent future fires by being careful with matches, mat-ches, firecrackers and cigarettes when you travel to our forest areas. Remember only you can prevent pre-vent forest fires ! " "A great slogan, Mr. Secretary," said Donaldson. "You should use that in a series of commercials. You could feature a cartoon character like McGruff the crime dog. Not a dog, though. Maybe a.. .yes perhaps, a bear. Dressed like a forest ranger." "One last question, Mr. Secretary," said the Washington Post. "Are the resort towns near the fires ruined, or can they still attract tourists?" "Many of them believe they can," said Hodel. Tor instance, one town near Yellowstone is blanketed with haze, so it's marketing itself as an L. A.-type suburb with "organic" smog. It's slogan is 'Jackson Hole, California An Easy Mistake to Make.'" Sttirike si WeSim iiy TERI ORR-G09IES Summer stuff for sl ugs All summer long I threatened to write one of those of "Fun Summer Stuff" pieces on the joys of walking around Park Meadows. The rest of the writers here didn't think that qualified as a real adventure but then they're all born jock and jockettes and can't relate to a banana slug persona per-sona like me. I've spent a lot of time walking around my extended ex-tended neighborhood this summer I find it therapeutic. It seems I mostly end up taking late afternoonearly evening walks when the sun is dropping and there is certain rosy glow to the sky. The entire area I walk is flat so it is easy to stroll for an hour or two without any real exertion. I nearly always walk part of the time along the Park Meadows golf course. The grass is thick and cool and there is a little pond that is just right for stopping and sitting and watching the clouds reflect in the water. From the golf course, I either head up past Gin-ny Gin-ny and Gary Smith's house or over past Brad and Alice's spread affectionately known in the neighborhood as Olchville. Serious joggers often pass me and lots of little kids on bikes whiz past. In fact, my favorite group of kids numbered four and I saw them maybe half a dozen times over the past few weeks. I would guess their ages to be somewhere between bet-ween eight and 10 and they rode with that heady sense of freedom a two-wheeler gives a kid. Three of them rode with fishing poles and one balanced a fishing basket it was clearly tricky for them. They would ride a ways, stop, balance everything again and ride some more. There was one more key element to group they consisted of three boys and a girl. I would sigh each time they past me and wish I could trade places with the girl. Fishin' with the guys on a warm summer night at an age when you're all "just buddies" seems like a pretty idylic way to let the days roll by. No matter which way I wind around the streets, I always walk past Bill and Karen Coleman's house there is something about it that is "just right." Old-fashioned flowers climb up the proverbial prover-bial white picket fence and the odds are good, a lot of times, you'll find a couple of kids with a lemonade stand set-up on the corner. The grass is lush and there are shade trees that create inviting spots along the irrigation ditch that runs through their land. The house is one of the few old farmhouses far-mhouses that remain in town and out back there is a great old shed with a couple of steel washtubs set up in the most picturesque fashion. Each time I pass I fight back the temptation to wiggle past an opening in the fence and go stick my toes in the cool water and sit in the shade a spell. Sometimes my friend, Joanie, walks with me and sometimes her five-year-old daughter, Kristin comes along, but mostly, I walk alone. Somedays I "walk out" a problem at work or at home but usually I walk to empty my head of those daily stresses. I know before long I'll be curling up with a good book in front of the fire instead of walking The Meadows at night. But for now, while there are still technically a couple of weeks of summer left, it strikes a vein with me I should take advantage of the perfect strolling conditions which provide for some "pretty fun summer stuff" for a banana slug like me. i fi .:fr i'H1. tJS- ' 1 8795 EAQLE 6786 y Vl ' SOLD OULD 9ln0N EAQLE V 3907 X A ' 6736,X ' CHAMPION VcHAMPIOfA S EAQLE V 3907 6736 S 3694 . CHAMPIONVcHAMPIOfA X r--""rnfi9THH0LE f 19TH HOLE I 6716 3881 A VACAKT V 1 -"" w-r 9 IRON X 9 IRON X MTK v x r X NwR CIRCLE r EAQLE CHAM- I 3881 I 19TH I r RON HOLE I 3849 j 3616 FRONTAGE ROAD 10 HOMES AVAILABLE 4 DIFFERENT FLOOR PLANS 3,450 - 3,900 SQUARE FEET HOT TUB AND SAUNA ROOMS IN EACH HOUSE PRICES START AT $122,000 contact: bill coleman or jim lea 649-7171 Coleman Land & Investment Real Esta te Services LB UiOh CALL BEFORE YOU DIG. Something as simple as that little do-it-yourself lawn project could turn out to be a real problem for you and your neighborhood. 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