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Show THE Wednesday, February 22, 1978 Page 14 'Irrational Behavior' Continued F John Narcisso is a professor ot psychology and director of the counseling coun-seling center at Trinity University in San Antonio, Texas. Sergeant Harmon Har-mon has attended the Narcisso workshops and was impressed by his practical approach to dealing with people. The Narcisso motto is "Declare Yourself" and the model emphasizes the importance of having individual needs met by saying exactly exac-tly what is needed. The characteristics of declaring are that the request is in the first person, is left open for negotiation and is not a demand statement, and that you say exactly what it is you want. By speaking in terms of events and happeningswhat hap-peningswhat you would like done, by whom, and whe"n you have a good chance of having your needs met. When you demand you cancel out the other person he has no room to negotiate or declare himself. "Declaring is disarming without defeating," Harmon quoted from a Narcisso book. The object is to take the emotional person off balance without putting him in a position where his defenses are up and he can't listen or hear what the other person wants. In an everyday situation where you would like a simple task performed, you must state who you would like to do it and when. A routine chore such as washing dishes can become a potential argument just by the tone of the request. "Why don't you wash the dishes," has the sound of a master ordering or-dering his slave and can be countered with a "Why should I? They aren't all mine, and besides, I did them yesterday." yester-day." By declaring using "I" instead in-stead of "you" the same situation is now a negotiable topic. "I would like you to do the dishes today," can now be answered with "Okay, but I'm going out now, could I do them later?" The needs of both people are being heard and met, and the dishes will get done. By declaring yourself, you allow someone to declare himself back. "Part of understanding what you want or what to negotiate is knowing your priorities," Eilene Ochese said. She continued that major needs have a better chance of being met when the person knows specifically what is most important to him and the time in which that need must be met. Ochese decided to initiate role playing of some typical situations to illustrate the use of the communication com-munication skills. Three people were chosen to act as a daughter in conflict with her parents over a boy they don't want her to date. It would seem that the discussion of declaring would influence influen-ce the outcome of the role playing, but once the enactment began, it wasap-parent wasap-parent that humans are ingrained with unfair arguing tactics. "Anyone can yell 'Stop Action' at any point if they see disfunctional behavior, laying on trips, or 'get my way behavior'," Ochese said before the play began. "Let's see how we can intervene to change the patterns." The scene opened with the daughter announcing she is going to a party with the boy the parents have already said they don't like. The mother turns immediately to the father and asks if he's given the girl permission to go out with him (Stop! Mother is trying not to take sides and is setting the father up as the bad guy!) The daughter pleads that she's 16 and almost old enough to vote (Stop! rom Page 1 The boy is the issue, not voting). The mother says she's worried about the girl, but never says what she's worried about. Thus far there have been no declaring statements. Then.. ."I can't call him up now. It's three hours before the party and I already told him I would go" (Stop! She's using 'get my way behavior' by trying to elicit sympathy). Although the mother now declares herself ("I would rather you didn't go") she doesn't say why, but uses phrases like, "you're too vulnerable; there are pitfalls; we are afraid for you; of course we trust you, but..." These are all excuses and are sidestepping the real issue of their fear of her "getting into trouble" without saying what that means. Are they afraid she will drink, get in an accident, get pregnant? At this point all three are hitting a brick wall. Tempers are beginning to surface and no one will give in. Ochese pointed out that a prime characteristic of adolescents is their need to rebel; some will push the limits of rules and standards more than others. "Parents need to deal with this natural phenomena. Standards and rules? Yes, but don't be so unbending that you send them out the door with their bags packed!" j The scene has progressed to where the police have been summoned by a neighbor or someone in the crisis. The police mission is the prevention of criminality and leading the conversation conver-sation to keep it on track and find a conclusion suitable to everyone. Once the family has agreed the officer of-ficer can help, he establishes the problem and tries to have each person declare his needs he attempts to deal with events and happenings. As each person declares himself, the officer of-ficer will "Stop Action" if he feels it is going off on a non-progressive emotional tangent. The object is to defuse the emotions and look for a solution that leaves no one a total loser. The parents now have eased their position and are willing to meet the boy and spend a day with him. The daughter agrees, but still wants to go to the party in three hours. The conversation con-versation has opened for negotiation because each has declared his wishes. The girl now wants her parents to meet the boy tonight and go to the party par-ty with him. The officer points out that the girl has to give up something since sin-ce the parents have given up their initial rigid stand. Maybe she should consider giving up the party to appease ap-pease her parents to achieve the long range goal of dating the boy with their approval. The workshop then broke into groups of four to try to find a suitable conclusion between the family members mem-bers with the policeman officiating. When the workshop regrouped, it was found that the focus had shifted. What ' initially looked like the problem wasn't anymore. The parents had one problem the boy and the daughter another the party. There is no pat answer to this situation. Each family would have to make its own decision. In some of the workshop groups, the parents said "no" to the party, with the daughter threatening to leave. In others, the daughter reluctantly accepted her parent's rules. One group decided the daughter could go to the party with other girls and return home with them, trusting her even if the boy was there also. The one unanimous conclusion con-clusion reached, however, was that it is necessary for thej negotiating process to take place and the channels of communication to be left open. "We each view our world in our own reality," Ochese said. "By declaring, we share our reality." She described the societal pressures that are part of each person's reality the daughter is afraid her peers will think she is "weird" or "square" and her parents are afraid of what the neighbors will think. "Our feelings vocabulary is very limited. We express hurt, fear and frustration as anger. Anger is secondarythe secon-darythe real problem is where the anger is coming from," Ochese noted. By using active listening skills we can better understand another person's feelings. If the daughter says friends will thinks she's weird, the parents should try to discover what "weird" means to her and why it's negative. And the daughter should be aware of what the parents are afraid the neighbors neigh-bors will think. The officer serves as the mediator and furthers the level of communication. com-munication. If the conversation comes to an impasse, the officer helps the family to look at the consequences of pushing each other to the limit. What if the daughter is forbidden to go to the pary? Would the parents accept her packing her bags and running off? Would she be able to accept being 16 with no place to go? The steps in problem solving are identifying the problem in specific terms, looking at the alternatives and the consequences, and deciding if you are willing to live with those consequences. con-sequences. "Look at the problem in terms of events and happenings," Ochese suggested. "How do thing's look on a day-to-day basis? If you don't like it, back up and look at the alternatives again." "The role of the police officer is crisis intervention," Harmon recapped. recap-ped. "Tonight we used one tool in problem solving. Maybe it w ill work one time out of ten, but at least it will work one time. With the skills we learn, we have to show a person he can live in an environment with other people and survive. " hi SATURDAY, MARCH 4, 7:30 p.m. Park City's KIMBALL ART CENTER Presents ME OJNID Formerly the band for the Utah Stars, they also performed for years in the SkyRoom at the Hotel Utalf Join tnem at the Kimball Art Center for a delightful family evening of song and entertainment. Kimball Art Center Members-S2.00 Adults-$2.50 Children-Sl.00 For ticket information & reservations call 649-8882 Please note this is a date and time change. a. 1 m 'j i ri ej k b. What's going to happen? Look to the stars, And when you find out, Head for the bars. CAPRICORN' (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) Looking for the key to success? You left it in your other pair of pants. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) The new moon falls in your Second House this week causing extensive damage. PISCES (Feb. 19-Mar. 20) Look forward to a week of fun and relaxation and you're sure to be disappointed. ARIES (Mar. 21-Apr. 19) This is the time to listen to your inner feelings. Swallow a microphone. TAURUS (Mar. 21-Apr. 19) Do not avoid your enemies. Look them straight in the face. If that doesn't get rid of them, nothing will. GEMINI (May 21-June 20) Your train of thought will be three hours behind schedule today. CANCER (June 21-July 22) If time seems to be dragging and life seems dreary for you, it's only because it is. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) Your generosity is well-known. Your heart is exceeded only by your fat head. large VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Remember, the wages of sin are much higher than the average Park City income. LIBRA (Sept.23-Oct.22) Some have said that success has gone to your head but those close to you know there's nothing there. Gorder, Leave Two veterans of World Pro Skiing have turned in their racing skis. Dan Mooney, 27, was a member of the pro tour since 1972, scoring his best finish in 1973 when he was eighth overall. Mooney has taken a promotional job with 'ABC records. He and Mooney Racing pro Ken Corrock produce rock concerts in the summer at Sun Valley. Craig Gorder, 25, a pro since 1975, is soon to be a father. He has returned home to Salt Lake City to join his wife and says he will ' not return to the pro tour. MOUNTAIN FISHERY The most unique dining experience in the Rockies. Set in a casual grotto like atmosphere, we offer nearly 30 items baked, broiled, stuffed, steamed, poached, sauteed or raw from abalone and crab to swordfish and snapper. Specialty is live Maine lobster Everything is prepared from our original recipes Open 6:00 1 1 00 p.m. daily. 3b8 Main Street. 649 8981 . Master Charge and Visa card accepted THE CORNER STORE-The corner store of your Park City vacation! Come delight in our deli treats: fine meats and cheeses in every sandwich, warm, fresh donuts. delicate omelettes, memorable cookies. There's a place for you at the Corner Store. Indoor and outdoor seating or "Take it Away" up the mountain or back to your condo. Catering, too! We're at the Resort Plaza, 649-8600, THECLAIMJUMPER Set in the historic Claimjurnper Hotel, this first-rate steakhouse serves the famous Baseball Steak as a specialty, and Prime Rib in their own private club downstairs in the Down Under. Old whisky bottles serve as menus. Open 6:00-10:00 Sun.-Thurs.. Fri-Sat. 6:00-11:00. Down Under, Un-der, 5:00-12:00. 573 Mam Street, 649 8051. CAFE RIT Z Now in its second year of operation, this Gay 90s-ityle 90s-ityle restaurant is dominated by a beautiful oakwood bar and a true old fashioned expresso brewer, replete with brass fittings and polished silver spouts. The specialties are crepes and fondues, and the French onion is said to be fabulous! Open seven days weekly from 5:30 to 10:30 p.m. 402 Main Street. 649 9998, SHENANIGANS Offers the delectable combination of delicatessen sandwiches on bakery fresh German breads and ice cream delights including shakes, malts, splits, sodas and cones. For light lunchers or side orders, there is a well stocked salad bar with everything from sunflower seeds and croutons to potato and bean salads. The menu also includes tempting homemade -soups. Open Wednesday through Saturday from noon until 10 p.m. and from 1:30 p.m. until 7 p.m. on Sundays. Take out service ser-vice is also available. 323 Main Street, 649 8682. MILETI'S Park City's only Italian restaurant. A casual but elegant atmosphere serves as an excellent setting for shrimp and escargot appetizers, veal piccata, scampi, fettuccine, spaghetti, Sicilian pizza, spumoni and alpine cakes. Moderately priced. 412 Main Street. Dinner hours are from 6:00 p.m. until 10:00 nightly. MA KETTLE'S KITCHEN -YouH enjoy our reasonably priced dinners featuring Breast of Chicken Parmigiana, Fettucini Alfredo, Spaghetti and Ratatouilk Meals included fresh garden salad, seasonal fresh fruits and vegetables and hot garlic bread. Our prices range from $2.75 to $4.95. Feel free to share an entree. Mini bottles and wine service ser-vice is available. Come join us. we're at the bottom of Main Street, 649-8584. 649-8584. ADOLPH'S Now at its new golf course location. 1541 Thaynes Canyon Drive. Local resident and proprietor Adoiph lmboden specializes in Swiss cuisine in a formal European style. Adolph's offers a wide range of hors d'oeuvres from white asparagus vinaigrette to smoked Nova Scotian salmon. Entrees range in price from $5.95 to $12.50 and include Swiss veal bratwurst. coq au vin rouge, filet mignon gastronome, roast duck and the chefs special, roast rack of lamb. The dessert menu features Swiss chocolate mousse and cheesecake. Adolph's has a Sunday Brunch from 10 a.m. until 3 p.m. with a salad bar, salmon, hot plates, omelettes and eggs Benedict. Price is $5.75. including beverage. Reservations, 649-7177. CAR 19-The railroad motif of the Car 19 brings back the adventurous adven-turous spirit of the silver boom. The menu, which includes a variety of seafood dishes and steaks is complemented by a sumptuous sum-ptuous salad bar. The Club Car 19 (temporary memberships readily available) hosts excellent jazz and bluegrass musicians and the Caboose (open daily from 116 p.m.) serves hot lunch specials and hearty sandwiches. Dinners at Car 19 are served from 5:30 -10:30 p.m. 649 9338. PROSPECTOR SIRLOIN-Once a miner's lodge, the Prospector offers a historic, turn-of the century atmosphere for dining. Victorian chandeliers and an antique brick fireplace add to the decor. All steaks are USDA prime top sirloin. Alaskan king crab legs and rack of lamb are specialties. Creamy gourmet soups accompany each meal. Wine service with meals and cocktails are served in the Prospector Sirloin Club. Located at the top of Main Street in the Alpine Prospector Lodge; the restaurant is open from 6:00 p.m. until 10:30 p.m. daily. MAIN STREET EXPRESS a quaint speakeasy atmosphere is to be enjoyed at the Main Street Express. The mellow atmosphere at-mosphere of the Express is enhanced by original stone walls from the 1800s and a complementary turn-of the century decor. Local musicians will provide entertainment from an antique piano on occasion, as diners seated in pews and booths delight in a menu of seafood, steaks and omelettes. The Express has a rear entrance and ample parking on Swede Alley. 442 Main Street, open seven days a week. 4 p.m. until 1 1 p.m. QQCB MAC'S DONUTS Open seven days a week. 24 hours a day during the height of the ski season to serve the needs ot those wanting to be first in line at the gondola as well a- those with the 3 a m. munchies. The donut shop features 'ast and cake donuts, longjohns, cinnamon rolls, bear claw and jelly-filled donuts. Beverages include coffee and hot choc date. Additional snacks of popcorn and soups are available. Loc ited at 580 Main Street (behind the Kindersport). Large orders can be arranged for conventions or visiting ski groups, 649-7894. THE EATING ESTABLISHMENT Famous for "the best omelettes this side of Poison Creek." Other breakfast specialties include wheatgerm pancakes and "cosmic" cakes while a variety of luncheon burgers and sandwiches, homemade soups and a salad bar are designed to satisfy even the hungriest of miners. Open Monday through Saturday. 7:00 a.m. until 10:00 p.m.; Sunday 7:00 a.m. until 7:00 p.m. Beer available. 319 Main Street. CHARLIE'S OYSTER BAR-Apres skiing hors d'oeuvres and munchies including oysters on the half shell, shrimp tern pura, scallops, artichokes, burgers and an occasional treat of "Oysters Charlie." Open every day from 5 p.m. until midnight. At the Silver King Club. 1505 Empire Avenue. Live music Tuesday through Sunday. MOUNTAIN FOOD SERVICE-includes the base cafeteria at the resort center, the Mid Mountain Lodge and the Summit House restaurant at the top of the gondola. It offers a full line of fast foods and hot beverages for the skier desiring a quick warm-up by blazing fires. The Mid-Mountain features a complete line of hot sandwiches and a "Happy Hour" with twenty-five cent beers from 2:30 p.m. to 3:30 p.m. daily. Lodging and convention facilities available through Mountain Food Services. ski RUSTY NAIL Enjoy a qlowina aores ski rno u,ith movies and disco dancing. The menus includes a variety of sand wiches, burgers and spaghetti from 4 p.m. until 9 p.m. weekdays and noon until 1 a.m. on weekends. Located at the Resort Center upstairs from Wolfe's. Check with the Nail for weekends of scheduled live entertainment. 649 8190. THE CATTLE COMPANY RESTAURANT-Featuring a friendly western atmosphere specializing in charbroiled choice top sirloin and New York steaks, scallops, prawns and crab. Chuck wagon salad bar, one of the most complete in Utah and baked potato served with every dinner. Child's portion available. Open 7 days a week. 6-10 p.m., reservations invited. Located at 1064 Park Avenue. MOTHERLODE Grab a snack and a cold one at the oldest saloon on Main Street. Choose from a selection of traditional standbys hot and cold sandwiches from grilled cheese and burgers to Dagwoods. Portions of Arly's homemade chili are served with each sandwich. Hours are from noon to 2 a.m. seven days a week. Live entertainment on Friday and Saturday from 9 p.m. until 1:30 p.m. C'EST BON Located in the C'est Bon Hotel at 1255 Empire. , C'est Bon dining offers a menu of tempting specialties including Dames de Saumon Grilles au Beurre Escargot. Australian Lob ster, Poisson Florentine, Veal Madere, Canard Montmorency and Boeuf Wellington. Dine in the quiet formal elegance of a warmly lit contemporary atmosphere, with reminiscent ram blings- nostalgic, romantic melodies--by Eric Lundberg at the piano. The C'est Bon dining room is open nightly from 6:00 10:00. Continental breakfast. MAIN STREET DELI Park City's newest delicatessen with delicacies to satisfy even the most particular East Coast deli gourmands. Bagels, imported cheeses and beers, candies, European teas, quiches, grinders and a wide variety of krauts and salads are available at pleasing prices. Salami, bologna, an-tipastos, an-tipastos, pepperoncinni, cheesecake come by for a quick snack or dine in the deli atmosphere complete with red checkered table cloths, neat rows of rare spices and refrigerated display cases Catering services available. 523 Main Street. 649 7250. Open 11 a.m. until midnight Sunday through Wednesday and 11 a.m. until 2 a.m. Thursday through Saturday. THE GUESTHOUSE is a new restaurant in the Park City Resort Plaza which is next to the main entrance in the Silver Mill House, prominently marked by its steepletower. This charming restaurant has been redecorated to a turn-of-the-century motif featuring steaks, fish, and two specialties:orange glazed Cornish game hen, and teriyaki steak flambeau for two. All major credit cards accepted. POTATO JOHN'S Located under the large yellow awning at the steps of Park City's Resort Plaza. P.J.'s features a unique blend of audio-visual and live entertainment including daily video filming of the day's fun on the slopes, A bill of fare ranging from burgers of all kinds and homemade soups to south of the border treats and vegetarian items. Open daily 31 1 p.m., 649-8616. LA PAVILUON Located atop the Park City Racquet club, this unique restaurant offers international cuisine served family style and prefix prices. Each evening you will find a delightful culinary surprise. Call fa reservations and infonnation, 649 8080. |
