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Show Page 8 Wednesday, March 30, 1977 I NASTAR Medal Winners For April 1 ;old MaxWellhaus Chuck Roast Holly Hox Graham Cracker Monty Zuma Selma Boddi Buddy Up Sal Hepatica Simon Sess Justin Thyme Rhoda Donkee Phil Dyrt Hy Ball Chip Monk AnneArburr Claire D. Aisle Eddie Kitt Bronze Morris Kode Andrea Dorea Mona Lott Jenny Side Fonda Necking Frank Enbeens Bill Overdew Marsha Mellow Taffy Pull MoeDeLawn Sally Forth Hans Awf Butch Wax Paul Bearer Penny Loafer Eileen Over Rex Carrs Helen Highwater Silver Dan Druff Marco de Stincshun Hal A . Toesis Earl E. Byrd Len Lease Kitty Litter Dan DeLyon Beverly Hills Hy Marks Jerry Atric Dick Shoonary Warren Peace Matt Adoor Frank Furter Tab Collar Allen Rench Eva Destruction Dinah Soare Bobby Socks Al Lergy Curtis E. Card Jim Shues Polly Wannacracker Nick 0. Teen Kay Passo Betty Wedder Dee Scustin Robin Droppings Frieda Slaves Bess Twishes Lilac A. Rugg Otto Gonow Hope Ferderbest Tommy Rott April Phools -'ft. SERVING LUNCH & DINNER WITrf DISCO DANCING NIGHTLY No Cover Charge No Membership Necessary OPEN 11:30 A.M. TO CLOSING TUESDAY Oldies WEDNESDAY Country Western THURSDAY Dance Contest CASH AND OTHER PRIZES APRES SKI MOVIES - POPCORN Rusty Nail Luncheon SERVED DAILY 1 1 :30 - 2:30 SPECIAL INCLUDING ONE BEER $2.95 Park City Resort Center 649-8190 AVBE 45fcMBK ffr ( i HI By Gary Avise First the bad news. Attention all city league softballers: the Sports Desk has word straight from Commissioner Bowie Hazelrigg that the uDcoming '77 regular season champion and Labor Day tournament winner has already been crowned and if you'll pass me the envelope en-velope please the winner is the OLD MEN. Yes, I know this must come as a mild surprise to we young bucks of this recently discovered Softball mecca that these perennial also rans these wiley veterans of the diamond shall be hauling home the hardware while we tap that last keg drowning in the post-tourney deluge. The schedule will remain the same, in fact Bowie relates there will be even more teams, up from eight last year to possibly ten or twelve for the current campaign thus forcing an expanded slate and perhaps even the creation of two divisions with playoffs to generate more revenue. It has also been determined during high-level discussions that the OLD .MEN shall sweep the season 'slate undefeated, a feat heretofore only accomplished by the starstudded Red Banjo team of two seasons past. Teams are required to end up on the short end by simply being out played, throwing the game by exhibiting a rash of inept play or by failing to field 10 rostered-players, rostered-players, a violation formerly overlooked or waived but one to be strictly enforced this season. The latter avenue of losing is being encouraged, en-couraged, as the final score of a forfeited game in slow-pitch is 7-0 and this would look good on the record of sometime OLD MAN pitcher Bill McComb. I say would because coach-team captain Jack Johnson (in his 15th year out of Fort Knox) relates that the chucker has up and chucked his old team and is forming his own team to be called the Loggers. This is unfortunate as the equal and opposite reaction to the action Mc Comb placed on his meatball provided much needed excitement to what usually was considered con-sidered a foregone conclusion. His presence will be sorely missed. Shortstop Johnson has additionally leaked that he and his associates have surveyed the City Park and indeed found the bases to be 60' between bet-ween and home plate lies directly 46' SW of the pitcher's plate. A newly constructed outfield fence fen-ce will represent the first phase of a multi-faceted multi-faceted project proposed by Mr. Johnson and his associates. The fence, referred to as Bullseye Porch will serve as a target for Mammoth OLD MAN Michael Doilney to wince at while wiffing or wink at while retrieving one of his tape measure shots. The kids will finally have a barrier to stand behind or a knothole to peek through. Now the good news: In exchange for the championship Jack Johnson and the plum bobs will construct a huge sports complex costing in excess of $15 million. Final plans will be aired as soon as impact studies are completed. Facilities should be available for play next season, Mr. Johnson states. "We're flexible and we're ready to go!! There should be no problems." When queried on sewage facilities, the prominent coach assured one and all The Ski Corp. has pledged all excess water they have to insure an adequate supply. OLD MEN MEMOS: Local TV personality Bill Orwig might be able to fool em on the tube, but un in Derson no way. One glance at the Wiggs' driver's license necessitates departure from last year's champs to this season's titleholders as the steady second sacker has reached the mandatory recruitment age... It is also believed that Craig Badami, in an effort to crack the starting lineup has obtained several grass making machines in anticipation of the prolonged summer drought And thats a Big 10-4 C.B. over and yer-r-r-r-r out!! Ski School Dropout Profile .-'S IMF"" sin i nJ r t -. ENTERTAINMENT SILVER KING CLUB "Cow Jazz" comes to the Silver King Club this weekend. MOHTERLODE - Dave Hogges, a country blues and folk singer, will perform Friday night. On Saturday night from 9 'till 1:30 Country 3 plus 1 will be at the Motherlode. v CLAIMJUMPER - Andrea will be performing this Friday and Saturday night. CAR 19 - "Possum" will be at the Side Car Tuesday through Sunday. Performances at 8 and 10. Sunday afternoon jam session at 2:00. 1 Farky Needleman For most certified ski instructors, a teaching position with a highly regarded ski school, such as Park City's, is the ultimate goal. But for a select, adventuresome few, the daily repetition of "Bend ze knees, ten dollars please" does not provide adequate fulfillment as they slide downhill through life. Farky Needleman, who has gone about as far downhill as you can go, is one of this rare breed. He has been called a loner, an outsider, a rebel without a brain and an s.o.b. but, although each of these descriptions is partially accurate, none tells the real story. What is Farky Needleman? He's senile. After establishing an unexcelled reputation in the world of ski instruction, Farky. who will be 86 on April 1, unexpectedly dropped out of ski school last winter to become captain of Team Descente. Team Descente-that unbridled group of downhill crazies who won't be seen on skis less than 223 centimeters long, who fly over bumps rather than ski them and whose bitterest enemy is terminal velocity. And why would an 86-year-old man at the zenith of his career go even faster when he's already skied most of his hill?. We told you, his mental bindings haye, released, his cranial safety straps are off and he's waxed for his waning years. Farky still teaches private lessons by appointment but his real thrill is SDeed and that speed will catch up to him someday soon. And when he takes that final header, those who knew him will awake one morning to mourn at his wake at the Silver King Club. And they'll think to themselves, "Old Farky sure made good drinks but he never did make good sense. ' ' FOOLED HfTE- & -43& -a 3 'MF- 'Q3f' 'f BEHf fi3Cl TH mm i ESTABLISHED 1972 Park City's Finest Dining Boof o Soafood o Lamb Top of Main Stroot, Park City, Utah r a r nnan HDCKI 043-000 EVERYDAY EXCEPT CHRISTMAS AND iWN DAY CLQ mms mm te3SBI lOPEN DAILY 9 to 6 1 iEGOfr&EI 3BHH H-3BG RED BANJO PIZZA FEATURING Featuring A VARIETY OF ITALIAN SANDWICHES DROASTED CHICKEN PIZZA Take Out CHICKEN B PIZZA HOME DELIVERY 649-88 Open at Noon aBLum l. icii-4-Laimii,i mra Sun.-Thurs. 6:00-10:30 Frl.-Sot. 6:00-11:00 snowbird w aprih, 2, 3, 1977 hawaiian tropic pro championships an abc wide world of sports feature |