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Show CX6 INDEPENDENT. WtMSOVILLE. tfTAN Borrowed umbrellas are juit as Attow a lm - V Money that you save and pat at in terest will work for you while you sleep. The man who is looking for a posi tion and refuses to accept a Job, is very likely to get neither. At any rate, there will be no Patti business about Uncle Russell Sage's farewell when it does come. School strikes are becoming so numerous that spanking committees are needed In many Illinois towns. If you want to get your picture In the paper these days all you have to do is to organize a strike of some kind. The Wisconsin hunter who ne electa to provide himself with a bullet-proof shirt is flying in the face of Provi- aence. ; We would like to believe that Mon tana man who says he refused . a 12,500,000 bribe. But our pipe has gone out. Our great football Institutions are not going to have it all their own way. A golf college has been opened in New York. Mr. Wu may have a better job waiting wait-ing for him in China, but it is certain that he will not have so much fun asking questions. The new Servian cabinet is practically practi-cally the same as the old one. Of course, you know just who the former form-er members were. . The sultan of Johore will attract a great deal of attention when he comes over here in 1904, particularly if he brings his wives. The man who made millions from the patented iron bunghole for beer barrels may be said to have taken advantage of an opening. "Is there anything the matter with ;the shorthand writers in this country?" coun-try?" is asked. No, nothing except that some of them can't spell. A St. Louis man recently lost his mind in a poker game. But if some people who play poker had to fall back on their minds they couldn't ante. San Francisco's mayor says poker is not a gambling game. Out there they probably regard it as a mere pastime for frail women and small children. With Zion City on Lake Michigan and Beulahland on Long Island Sound, some enterprising real estate man should plat out Jerusalem on Great Salt lake. Sir Thomas Lipton repeats that he would rather take chances of fair play in the United States than in any other country. He reminds us of Dun-'raven, Dun-'raven, he's so different. filnceLord Roberts, said that the recruiting statistics of Great Britain reveal a serious condition of physical degeneracy John Bull is inclined to lay it all to the tin bathtub. It is easy to believe Lord Kelvin's assertion that in 400 years the coal of the world will be used up. Many a man will tell you that the coal in his bins is all used up now. J. D. Rockefeller, Jr., by order of his physician hasn't been to Sunday school now for several weeks and the children chil-dren in the primary and kindergarten departments are getting jealous. The news that the czar is suffering from mental aberration and the czarina czar-ina from melancholia ought to make plain, ordinary folk feel thankful that they are not attached to the Russian court. ' The hunter who tells the old stery about being attacked by an eagle has made bis appearance early this season. The man who has escaped from the hug of a bear will be heard from later. ' Mark Twain isn't the only man who large wire house sent out at noon Friday this laconic message: "Things look so bad now that I think the worst is over." If young Mr. Rockefeller keeps on a it I ntvi. i 11 ..UV cui jus uioiv lamm uiai. wvum isn't so much, and that everybody ought to be good to his brother, somebody some-body is going to strike him for a fiver, or maybe a sawbuck. An. East St. Louis man named Geo. Diehl attempted to flee, owing $1,400 His creditors overtook him and made him oar over the money at the mus ales of pistols. This was net exactly a legal proceeding, but it was effective. effec-tive. A New Tork "gent" who rose in two years from office boy to the presidency presi-dency of a trust company has beea fent to the penitentiary for fMotfa-ent fMotfa-ent operations. It appears that it Is -t(M .olhln now nil tn bright. The Connecticut pastor who forget it was Sunday and was reading in hie study while his congregation patiently waited in the pews, recalls to Mind the New Hampshire parson, who, hav-lng hav-lng a funeral engagement, was found at the circus. - . t One of the Chicago churches Is to have a brass band to help at all the regular services. It is to be hoped that the trombone artist will be careful care-ful never to let the congregation, in an outburst of enthusiasm, mistake his efforts for those of Gabriel. royal families may be expected should any of them attempt to emulate emu-late Queen Alexandra's feat of eating eight courses in sixteen minutes. It seems that about the only way the Oould family can keep their toy Count Castellane in the French chamber cham-ber ef deputies is to buy the chamber. Prof. John Milne, an English earthquake earth-quake specialist, announces that there were 39,000 distinct earthquakes last roar. Now wouldn't that jar 7uT Hatching Chickens Artificially. Batching chickens artificially by the use of incubators has become a general gen-eral practice on all poultry farms, and Its success Is no longer ques tioned, says Chas. S. Greene. There are several very good machines on the market and there are also some that are practically worthless in the hands of a novice. In purchasing a machine It would therefore be advisable to buy one that you have seen or know to be running successfully In the hands of some one besides the inventor. Every manufacturer gives with the incubator he sells explicit instructions for run ning, which should enable any one with a fair amount of ability and per sistency to hatch chickens success fully, so it is not necessary to give the directions here. We often hear the remark that it is easy enough to hatch chickens, but to raise them after they are hatched is the most difficult problem. Here is where the most study, work and attention to details Is required, and the tales of woe that occasionally come to us are very discouraging dis-couraging indeed, some stating that they will give fifty dollars to know why their chickens die. This, of course, can only be ascertained by knowing the exact conditions and the feed and care the chickens receive. The method meth-od ef raising chicks artificially is so much superior to the natural method that competition is entirely out of the question, except for the small producer. pro-ducer. To begin with, a good brooder Is necessary, as without it nothing like success can be accomplished; and no one can call it having good success unless he can raise from eighty to ninety per cent of the chickens hatched. Increasing Profit In Eggs. During this past season the prices paid for eggs have been very good. This has been due, we doubt not, to the high prices demanded for meat The probability Is that the prices obtainable ob-tainable for eggs are to Increase from year to year. The farmer has in the past seen times when he was glad to get ten cents a dozen for his eggs. Now If he Is near any city or town he finds no trouble In disposing of his eggs at a very good price summer and winter. As he learns to make the most of his surroundings he will learn to make more money out of his flock of poultry. The increase in the value of eggs is due to an increased demand for them rather than to the increased cost of producing the eggs on the farm. The farmer that has a small flock of poultry is not put to any greatly great-ly Increased expense In caring for them. He can always feed the grain that Is cheapest unless that grain be corn. At the present time oats are again comparatively cheap, and oats make one of the best feeds for poultry. poul-try. So this winter, while eggs are to be high, the farmer need not make the cost of - producing them greater than before. It will pay the farmer to give more attention to the poultry than he has generally done in the past There Is ne possibility ef ever-doing ever-doing the business. Points on Poultry Raising. A New York poultryman sayst Fowls that are bred for layers aad cared -for and fed In a proper manner should lay nearly 200 eggs each in a year. Figuring them at an average price of eighteen cents per dozen will make three dollars Income from eggs alone. The cost of feed caaaet possibly amount to over ninety cents or a dollar during this time. So it will be easily seen that there is a good profit In eggs for market Of course, the most profit is obtained in the winter, when eggs are high (often reaching thirty to forty cents per dozen), and this is when we take the most pains with the flock and give them the best care; but to be good winter layers the stock must .be put into condition before winter, and it is needless to say that this is one of the principal causes why hens dom't usually usu-ally lay in the winter time. It is not fair to expect a hen to lay the year round.- She must have a rest, the same as a cow rests from giving milk. This is a natural condition which is beyond our control, but we can assist nature during the molting season and bring them to laying in much better condition and much earlier in the winter win-ter than they naturally would." Dry or Wet Poultry Houses. The fall of the year Is here and with it the rains that make the fall to some extent disagreeable. Around the poultry poul-try house this time of year is exceeded exceed-ed In dreariness only by the early springtime, when the air is filled with moisture and many of the poultry yards with mud. The combination is one that encourages disease. It is no wonder that some women hate the sight of a poultry yard, being willing almost to get along without poultry conveniences rather than to have fowls around. They see the hens wading through mud, standing in mud, laying In mud. They pick eggs out of nests that are wet with the mud the hens have tracked into them. It Is no wonder that In some flocks roup is an annual visitant Clean up the yards. If the drainage Is not good, make it so. The poultry house that is situated on a slight elevation Is properly placed. In that case the yards will always be clean and dry and the fowls comfortable, com-fortable, no matter what the weather may be. Lose on Half Fat Steers. Bulletin 76, Mississippi Experiment Station: Even the best Mississippi cattle are sent to market only half fat Usually they are only fed from 90 to 120 days and this will not finish a steer, unless he is fat tobegin with. It takes too much feed to make a pound of beef for it to be profitable to feed animals that when sent to market mar-ket will not bring more than three or four cents a pound. In finishing animals ani-mals fox the market the gains made rarely ever pay for the feed consumed, and in consequence the Increased value of the entire carcass, after being fed, over what it was when the animal was put on feed, must represent the profits. If any, in finishing for the block. Women can't drive nails, but when it comes to driving bargains she has the sterner sex beat a block. A question settled by force rather than reason always comes up for resettlement. re-settlement. Fate is erratic In the matter of spelling. spell-ing. Many a man preparing for a coup finds himself cooped. How Germs Enter the Udder. In healthy animals the only possible channel of bacterial invasion is the teat The teat is a canal surrounded by muscular walls and closed at the extremity by an Involuntary sphincter muscle, "which varies much in con tractllity in different animals. Often it is so lax that the pressure of a small amount of milk in the canal is suffl clent to open it and the animal leaks her milk. In other animals, it re quires a strong effort on the part of the milker to draw the milk. This canal, with a temperature of the anl mal body, and containing, alwayB, even after the most complete milking, a small amount of milk, offers ideal conditions for bacterial growth. When the animal lies down, be it on the pasture or in the stable, the udder and teats come In contact with dust and dirt, which are teeming with bacteria. bac-teria. It seems, then, reasonable to conclude that in case of leaky udders the bacteria adhering to the exterior of the teat have easy access to the Interior, where they meet most favorable favor-able conditions for rapid development This assumption is borne out by the results of many Investigations, which invariably show that cows with leaky udders harbor a very large number of bacteria In the milk. For this reason, such cows are discarded from the herd in some sanitary dairies. On the other oth-er hand, where the sphincter muscles close the teat firmly, the bacterial invasion in-vasion is greatly checked. From what has been said above It may clearly be seen that, if cows are allowed to wade in swamps covered with stagnant water, or lie down on dirty, filthy stable floors which are covered with excreta, etc., the chances are that a comparatively large number num-ber of bacteria will be able to enter the udder through the teats, a fact which Is especially true in the case of cows that leak their milk. It Is obvious, ob-vious, therefore, that the discarding of animals which suffer from disease and of cows that have leaky udders, the use of drained pastures, and of clean bedding on the stall floor, constitute con-stitute the first step towards Improv ing the hygienic and keeping quality of milk. Cornell University Experiment Experi-ment Station. ., Af.- Some Milk Adulterations In Penn sylvania. Robert Simmers, the food inspector of the Pennsylvania agricultural de partment stopped some 40 milkmen in Allentown, from whom he secured specimens of cream, milk and skim-milk. skim-milk. By Immediate tests he found that some of the specimens were adulterated adulter-ated with formaldehyde. While this is a powerful disinfectant, it is injurious inju-rious to the system. It Is supposed some of the other specimens are adulterated adul-terated with boric acid, salicylic acid and bichloride mercury, all of which are undoubted poisons and very detri mental to health through prolonged use. All dealers found to have adul terated milk will be prosecuted, as well as the producers who are guilty of adulteration. Mr. Simmers says that as a rule the farmers producing the milk are more guilty of adulteration than the milkmen who sell it on the streets. Mr.' Simmers just came from Easton, where he found many adulterations. The most flagrant case there was one where glue was mixed with sklmmilk and colored to give it the appearance of cream, the mixture being sold as pure rich, cream and used in the manufacture man-ufacture of Ice cream. Allentown Leader. Proper Sampling of Milk. The sampling and testing of milk to obtain the yearly record is often a source of error with the average dairyman. This is not due so much to ignorance as to carelessness. Composite Com-posite samples should be taken of the milk for not less than three consecutive consecu-tive days, at least once each month. It is also very important that they be taken at the same time and near the middle of each month. These samples should be thoroughly mixed by pouring from one vessel to another, before taking the test sample. With a little care and judgment, the amount of butter produced by a cow for one year, can be gotten very accurately by this method. Of course, in making weekly tests, a separate sample should be taken at each milking. If the sampling and testing is not done properly, prop-erly, the results thus obtained will be worse than useless, as they will mislead mis-lead not only the owner himself but all others who are Interested in the welfare of the herd. J. A. Danks at meeting Western Guernsey Breeders' Association. Cleanliness in Milking. E. C Jacobs: It would seem as if it should be unnecessary to say that milking should be done in a cleanly manner, but when we consider the amount of filth introduced into milk at this operation and the amount ol milk that is ruined in this way, from being converted into a really first-class first-class product, it would seem that there was great need of reform In this operation oper-ation and that "line upon line and precept upon precept here a little and there a little," was not out of place on this subject Nothing short of thorough thor-ough brushing and wiping the udder and flank of the cow with a damp cloth, - and : dry milking with clean hands should be allowed. Then, . by thorough straining and separating immediately, im-mediately, we shall not have very much use for patent aerators for re moving that cowy flavor, believed by many to ' be Inseparable from milk. Neither will- pasteurizing be necessary to insure its keeping a reasonable length of time, if properly handled. t An Old Story. The Tonawanda Review says that a number ' of farmers In Wyoming county, New York, have bought "ball bearing" . churns at $7 each; others paid $200 for territorial rights. The agents introduced a chemical into the cream and made in two minutes what looked like butter. The purchasers pur-chasers of the churns can't make butter but-ter In them in two hours. The film-Hammers film-Hammers are said to have taken $2,500 out of the county. How long will it take dairy farmers to find out that cheap "short cuts" to wealth are net profitable? As much as the pepsin fraud has been exposed ex-posed In the agricultural press, one would think that the farmers had been pretty well Informed on the matter. mat-ter. Land Area of Hawaii. The land area of Hawaii is 4,000,-000 4,000,-000 acres, , . Realities of Life There Is, in a corner of a far south ern state, a little factory town, built in the heart of radiant nature, where blue skies, shining water and wood- crowned hills form a brilliant back ground, against which the colof COlOf f life of a cotton-mill people startling contrast. , Hurrying to and from the mills at, early morning, noon, or evening, yoiJ fan aA tlAra fl tllrnnv nf vfioinr tvAmMf rvxrm OTA tff.la vmmai In voAva am. old in faces one and all stamped with the mechanism of a work which has crowded out of their lives beauty. sweetness, ambition and aspiration ... They live in dreary little house, cramped in space, without books, I, pictures, or music, or social enjoj ment They have no recreations, no comforts, and their ignorance of all domestic science is truly deplorable. Their homes are seldom well kept Night workers from the mill sleep almost al-most all day in many of the housXs, and Saturday afternoon, the half-holiday at the mill, Is the only available time for some of the women to attend to domestic duties.' They are always poorly clad. The flimsy cottons and cheap worsteds for which they spend their hard-earned pittance are. usually gaudy deceptions, which never wgr, and lose all semblance of color in the first washing. Wash-day, by the way, is a movable feast in this district for the women are bound by no fossilized traditions concerning Monday. , The most pitiable deficiency, how- Clergyman to Listen Silently to Heroay When the Methodist Episcopal chureh at Stratford, Conn., is built it will stand upon land secured in a stranger fashion than congregations usually adopt to establish their places of worship. It will be paid for by a man who believes be-lieves Methodist doctrines almost blighted his life and who devotes himself him-self to arguing against them. In recompense rec-ompense he demands that the minister, minis-ter, the Rev. Royal W. Raymond, listen lis-ten to him expound his doctrines for eleven hours, during which time he is to endeavor to convert the clergyman to his own theories. For eleven hours Mr. Raymond will listen to heresy, and he will be paid at the rate of $20 an hour. Thaddeus B. Peck is the theist who is willing to pay this price for the undivided un-divided attention of a clergyman while he expounds his theories of religious belief and endeavors to prove that Methodism is built upon a fallacy. He is a chemist For a long time he and the minister, being neighbors, had been accustomed to undertaking long arguments on religious subjects until the clergyman, seeing that he was wasting his force on an obstacle which had no intentions of being converted, quit the pastime as it was to the chemist and refused to be drawn Into discussion. The chemist found that he could not Burled , Pine Forest : - -rS The collecting of what is called rainbow rain-bow wood is a comparatively new industry in-dustry in Maine. Though the dwellers along the seaboard sea-board have known for years that driftwood drift-wood picked up from salt water gave out iridescent tints when- burned in open grates, they attached no value to the coloring of the flames until the rich summer visitors came down East and changed the picking of driftwood from an occupation akin into idleness Into a profitable calling. For five years the whole coast line of Penobscot bay has been scoured in quest of wood, and when the supply grew scarce and the price advanced from $10 to $25 a cord, a Boston chemist chem-ist grew rich from Inventing a powder which when burned with dry wood yielded colors nearly as bright as the genuine wood from the sea. This fall Emery Bowden, a farmer, who sold considerable driftwood in former years, went to the salt meadows mead-ows at the foot of his field and began to dig his year's supply of muck, which was used as bedding for his stock and HOUR FOR CHURCH SLIPPED BY. The Minister, Absorbed in a Book, - Was Heedless of It The morning service at the First Congregational church was delayed in a somewhat peculiar way Sunday. The hour for the opening came and passed, and no one appeared in the pulpit The congregation waited, expecting ex-pecting every minute to see the Rev. Charles H. Williams, who is occupying occupy-ing the pulpit until the arrival next month of the new pastor, the Rev. Albert J. Lord of Hartford, Vt Several of the Rev. Mr. Williams' friends began to grow a bit anxious, fearing that "be was ill or had met with an accident Finally a messenger messen-ger was dispatched to Mr. Williams' notel. There sat the good man, earnestly earn-estly perusing a book, wholly oblivious oblivi-ous of the passing of the time. He was greatly surprised when told that a congregation was anxiously awaiting await-ing his appearance. Hastily tying his cravat and changing his coat, be hurried hur-ried to the church. Mr. Williams in a few pleasant words apologized to the worshipers for keeping them waiting and causing any anxiety, and stated that for the first time In his life he had allowed the hour to arrive without his knowledge. knowl-edge. It would also be, he said, the last time. As Mr. Williams is the soul of punctuality his lapse was something some-thing of a Joke on him. Meriden (Conn.) Journal. Moltke's Idea of Whist. A German magazine has just published pub-lished the subjoined anecdote about Moltke: "Did you, your excellency, play whist when you were in France?" asked Herr von Beanigsea cf the great battle thinker omm evening even-ing over a rubber. "Every day when it was possible," replied Moltke. "We played half-farthing points, so that at worst the players could not lose more tnan a silling," One day Count Be-thusy Be-thusy was his partner. "Why, my dear count, did you play spades?" said Moltke, In a sharp and serious tone. "I bad an idea, your excellency, that you wanted spades." "But- my dear count one does not play whist according to ideas, but according to rule," replied the field marshal, shaking shak-ing his head, In Southern Cotton Mills ever, in the housekeeping of these poor women, who have had so little time or opportunity to learn, is their inability to cook. They cannot properly prop-erly prepare the simplest food, and mAnlfl rtf hein hlanft flU 5ne meats, and indescribable slices potato, you can no longer wonder e pallid faces, poor constitutions early aging of this people. S"IIP1 ere is not a man, woman or child, h, in the whole community, who not share the last crust of III- :-DTiai uicau wim juu. lor X bread with you, for generosity ijT2r characteristic virtue. relievec b f are singularly without lmagi suffered wasn t arawea out oi mem pains tHey were children," and no sub-several sub-several I1 iajic7 ever gilds the com-i. com-i. t.o9 for them. The mill Is real; work is real; they must have real money to buy real food, and anything that does not bear the hallmark of materialistic ma-terialistic reality is, to say the least suspicious. The very children turn a deaf ear to the most alluring . fairy tale. Fairies are foreign to the environment envir-onment Funerals, marriages, and quarrels are the diversions of , the neighborhood. neighbor-hood. - Funerals are of paramount interest being, as it were, outside mill limits, and appealing to the sensational side of their nature. New York Evening Post. t Ti. (X. m X. M Beware of the mam eoft persuasive voice. who owns a engage the minister in conversation regarding religion and there were no more arguments until the church decided de-cided to build a new place of worship. There were no funds with which to buy the land, and then the chemist came forward with his startling proposition. propo-sition. He proposed to pay the minister for listening to him discuss religious beliefs be-liefs as he held them. The minister laid the proposal before his congregation, congrega-tion, and after due debate it was decided de-cided to accept this sacrifice on the part of the clergyman, who was willing will-ing to make a martyr of himself for the good of his congregation. The arrangements have been made and the chemist will soon begin his conversations. The Rev. Mr. Raymond Ray-mond has stipulated that he shall not have to undergo all the discussion at one time. He will take an hour one week and another the next. Thus he will distribute the ordeal over several months. The condition is that he shall not dispute or argue. He must sit at respectful re-spectful attention and hear the doctrines doc-trines he holds most highly subjected to the most caustic criticism the chemist chem-ist is capable of delivering. He and his congregation are positive that nothing but good will come of this strange way of raising money for a church. K Profitable Find for house-banking. When he had excavated ex-cavated a hole about ten feet deep he came to a flooring of great pine trees, which had been imbedded in the peat for ages. The limbs had rotted away and the bark and sapwood had gone, but the dry heart of the trees was as sound as in life. Kindling a fire about a log of this wood, Bowden found that it gave out very brilliant hues of Indigo and green, showing that the aged wood was filled with salts of iodine and chlorine. No sooner had he made this discovery discov-ery than he stopped digging muck and went to mining rainbow wood. He loaded a schooner with cut wood and sent It to his Boston patrons, who paid him $22 a cord for the cargo and asked for more. Since then Bowden has hired all the men who are willing to work and is digging out the trunks in his fossil forest and selling them at" fancy prices. The deposit of pine trees lies between the clay subsoil and the overgrowth of peat, and is fully six feet in depth. HOW THE ANIMALS FEED. Characteristics of the Beasts When In Captivity. An animal is almost as demonstrative demonstra-tive when he is hungry as when he is In a rage. They are both natural feelings, and he sees no reason for disguising them. Human beings, who are affected in the same way as animals ani-mals by hunger, pay tribute to civilization civili-zation by not letting this appear. At an animal show in New York the wild occupants of the cages get very wild when the hour comes for them to be fed. A truck laden with meat and vegetables is wheeled around. Long before it gets to their cages the lions act as if beside themselves over the maddening prospect of food. "The cages are very small, and yet a lion and lioness will often be in one. They tear from one side to the other, the lion jumping over the body of the lioness, rather than 'make a 'longer trip around." Though they ought to have learned that each: will get a share, they both plunge for the great chunk of meat Once they get at it, they eat with a certain intensity, but deliberation. The hyenas, "bounders," of the animal ani-mal realm, are horribly greedy, and will steal from each other every chance they get. The apes, the "snobs" of animal kind, are rather fastldi-robust fastldi-robust bird that it is, awaits Its food with much stolidity, and when it gets its head of cabbage, pecks at It In a most contained, ladylike fasten. The stoical elephant is a placid eater, also, cus, if greedy. The ostrich, large. f th .eanoS Beware the Bore With Anecdotes. There is a man at my club, a pleasant, pleas-ant, amiable person, whom we all fly from as though he were stricken with plague. He is traveled, highly educated, edu-cated, the soul of honor, courtesy personified per-sonified ; but he has the mania of speech. I once droppe'd a coin on the floor; he obligingly joined In the hunt and found It, and told me the tale of a coin he had dropped O, In the 60s!- and I swear that if he were by me, afad I dropped my wife's umbrella sorely the most precious thing a man can be entrusted with! I would pass on and resolutely disavow ownership. -fThe King. eee Philosophical Observations ? By BYRON WILLIAMS. Have you considered the future state of your body as well as that of your soul? Have you planned what shall be done with the clay when you have shut k fled off this mortal coil and lie an inanimate mast Grave Subject approaching deterioration? Will you assign youz Is body to the burial ground where the gopifers may Considered. gnaw your toes? Will your anatomy be cremated and your ashes preserved in an urn or, like the bodies of certain Indians, will you be hung in the tree-tops where the crows may caw at you and the buzzards pick at your remains? - The scientific members of the crematory societies tell us It is better to be incinerated, more conducive to the general bealth of the people we leave behind, and vastly more certain of one very desirable fact that the person treated is dead, clear dead and no mistake. After the crematory gets through with the body there is no imminent danger of the corpse rising up in the coffin and asking for a drink. People who have a horror of being buried alive will do well to order cremation In their wills. The only real objection to cremation is that it is fearfully hard on the gophers! Naturally the mind is appalled at the thought of being burned, evn in a crematory. Fire is a painful thing, and cremation hints so much of hell-fire aad its punishment that one hesitates before confining a loved one's body to the process. But when the life is gone, what matter? There Is no suffering, no pain, no realization, no nothing. All is a dark and plutonian vacuum, a nonentity, a nihility, a nullity. The body is only waste the soul, the light the being is gone. Why then not do away with the dross, the husk, the hull, the shell? Is It not infinitely better than to store the body away in the ground where vermin may eat it, where rodents may destroy It, where rot may degrade it and unhappy thought where thieves may break the sanctity of even the last narrow house and steal It? Is there one who would prefer to have his dry bones rattled by a spectacled professor before a class of damp-eared, adolescent adoles-cent and callow medical students, than to know his ashes stand in a beautiful urn on the mantlepiece where his widow's second husband may refer to them in times of domestic infelicity? Will you be buried, burned, quick-limed, mummified or suspended in a tree like dried fruit? There Is no use in evading the question. It is ringing your door-bell! You must make a choice or leave it to those who survive you. Perllaps it is as well to procrastinate, as a corpse is easily satisfied and not given to philosophy or argument! Now that the season for asking "How would you like to be the Ice man?" Is off, a more modern problem is propounded: "How would you like to be a turtle farmer?" If you are undecided, you may inves- Belng a Dissertation tigate by reading Texas papers, which are telling ot-L on a man near Orange who has a turtle farm. When The Snapping Turtle, the sides of his purse begin to . create friction by rubbing together, he gets out his drag net and hauls in a few hundred pounds of turtles. The big snappers are placed in a pen and fed until they are fat and ready for market. He finds a ready sale for his product in New Orleans, where the fastidious are fond of turtle soup of aristocratic name. Every American youth has caught turtles. He recalls, with some degree of enthusiasm, strenuous battles with the old , mud-shell, the snapping-turtle and the soft-shell turtle. Many a fish pole and line have gone the way of debris through a battle royal with a "whopper," and many "an awful bite" has dwindled to a sanguinary affray with a beady-eyed reptile of the deep. Thus, the American who is reminiscent will ponder on the proposition proposi-tion of like and dislike for the turtle raising business. No boy now grown to manhood who ever got his finger or his big toe in the mouth of a snapping turtle will look favorably upon the scheme. The tenacity with which a pup holds to a root or a bull-dog to a leg, is nothing when compared to a hardshell mud-turtle when his passions are aroused and he grips any part of the anatomy. He never lets go until his head If off and even then he is apt to take his head in his mouth and slide into the water with stubborn mien. He is. a fighter from the Bad Lands and quits only when the odds against him have completely annihilated his chances. A turtle farmer must run all sorts of chances "feeding his stock." If ever a snapper gets a hold on the calf of his leg the joys of a turtle harvest are made to look like the proverbial thirty cents. In raising pigeons one can go into the loft, catch a dove or two and stroke their pretty heads, but the turtle farmer who goes into the head-petting business will need a crow-bar and a lever to disengage himself. The Texas papers say there is big money in the business, but one gets much satisfaction from a peaceful life bereft of riches these days. As for us we don't like turtle soup, anyhow. Some low-browed, pessimistical statistician has arrived at the deductloa that pumpkins are growing scarcer year by year. This means, of course, Pumpkin Pie Is Growing Scarce. though married," agitated the commonwealth. Now we are up against the real thing, if we may be allowed the slang of common parlance, "Is the pumpkin pie to become obsolete?" Perish the thought! How we have reveled In the luscious pumpkin slice! It recalls the halcyon days, the days of aspiration aspira-tion and faith, before the rude hand of experience blue-penciled a few things on the page of life. Up to the present time, we have been permitted to recall this Joyous period by occasional communion with pumpkin pie. Now we are to be forever cut off the pumpkin is growing smaller and smaller, fewer and fewer each season, and will soon be a mere curiosity for the sideboard. Time was when at cattle shows pumpkins were fed the bovine beauties to keep their hair sleek, and the man who raised the biggest pumpkin carried off the finest prize. Alas, one by one the things of youth are being swept away and the pumpkin rolls into the dim beyond along with other beloved things, a mourned luxury of the old-fashioned days. Somehow these statisticians are depressing. They shatter many a happy memory and create hobgoblins as children build mud-houses. Vale the pumpkin pie! But we still have plenty of material left for mud-pies. Perhaps we should be thankful for that The ubiquitous typographical error has long been the object of qualifying adjectives passionately expressed. The humorist, who sees fun In others' Typewriter Gets a Plugged Letter. "o." Tls said man and woman, living together, get the same facial expression to a greater or lesser extent It was even so with the "e" which, when clogged with love and lint, made an impression as round as a silver dollar, with nary a tongue in the middle or a break in the circle. The result was alarming. It reminds us now of the editor who lost all his letter "i's" all our "e's" were "o's." At the time we were angry, fearing lest our constituency would read proof on us and set us down as a rude, unfinished fellow who had never been to spelling school. The result, however, has not been heralded to us, and we are comforted with the thought that perhaps nobody read the articles after all! Anyhow, ours isn't as bad as the experience of the editor who wrote of a fashionable society lady of questionable age, and over it placed this head : "Has Gone to Wabash." When the absent-minded proofreader passed on the line, it read: "Hag Gone to Wabash." The editor is still in the innermost recesses of the 'wood, waiting for the society lady to relent There Is always joy in comparison with others' woe! Shakespeare called attention to what an infinite piece of work is man. The bard of Avon had 'in mind the gracious, gallant, honest, kindly man, the man who does things. He referred to the broad man Shakespeare's who had love for his fellow men. Ingersoll said love Man is the only thing that will pay ten per cent No Is Considered. man who is Belf-proud, holier-than-thou, can be the ideal man. Men go about smiling graciously at a few in their set, and scowling at the lower strata. Occasionally they scatter gold to the needy when a word of sympathy and fellow interest would be infinitely better. What Is money to the man who needs fellowship and associations that elevate? It helps for a paltry hour or two, until spent The sincere interest or handshake, has greater leverage to cheer. Sympathy will not feed the hungry, but it will elevate the sinking. Lowell 6ays it is not what we give but what we share. Lowell means we should share pur smiles, our hopes, our aspirations, our encouragement, and by sharing enhance our help tenfold, not only to others, but to ourselves. Be cosmopolitan and put away self-pride. Men become slaves to the ignis-fatuus of pleasure, seeking it even unto death; ' living tense lives, shadowing a mirage, an Imaginary apparition. For . excessive pleasure men have conquered and slaugh-All slaugh-All Pleasure tered, bled and died, forgetting God, love, honor and Will . the devil. At the last reasoning gasp, they realize Ruin Jack. they have been following a phantom, no more pro ductive of satisfaction than Mahomet's hell, "a paradise para-dise of sensual delights and wondrous beauty."- Neither power nor gold brings happiness. Rienzl, son of an innkeeper and a washerwoman, seized the helm of state in Rome. He sought happiness in forgetting his simplicity, in dressing gorgeously, In living royally. In existing according to the curriculum of extravagant pleasure. Lo! Happiness shed her promises like the peony its petals. Rlenzi became a wanderer and an outcast to die by the sword. Excess weakened him even as it will weaken others who are intemperate in their pleasures. Life is a sprig of bitter sweet The man who disregards the bitter side, thrusting 4t by to enjoy only the distracting things, will fail. Living is far too serious a business to be disregarded in its sterner realities. TJnhappy the man or woman who has no Christmas dinner with those dear to the heart and yet, even this individual must feel the benediction of the hour. Happiness is reflected from and through benev Aunt Polly and Her Goodness. quaint motherly Aunt Polly the world should have many such along about Christmas time to make the time supremely happy (or homeless ones, eeea that by the time the city folks get a vacation and hurry into the pastoral country, the pumpkin pies will be all gone. Some time ago the great problem was "Shall we open the mints to the free coinage of silver," etc. Later the question of "How to be happy seismic disturbances, quotes with glee each startling and unexpected utterance made when the types get twisted. After a time the victim smiles, too, at the thing which so Incensed him. Not long ago the letter "e" on our typewriter became enamored of the letter olence. The one who makes others happy is In turn happy. It was thus with David Harum's Aunt Polly, who did for others "just to relieve her mind." Fine, Egg Shell. aa Flower Pots. Egg saells may be used to adrsjsj tage In starting delicate plants tot transplanting. The half sheila are filled with earth and set in a box also containing the dampened earth. jt' hole is made in the point of the shell to allow drainage. A single seed is then planted In each shell, which is easily broken, when transplanting is done, without the slightest disturs-ance disturs-ance of roots. This use of en is the discovery of a French gardener, who claims they are vastly superior to the little pots generally used the purpose by florists. For New Summer Resort Charles' M. Schwab of the Steel trust is said to be at the head of a syndicate of wealthy New Yorkers who have in view the establishment ai Great Neck, L. I., of an exclusive summer resort similar to that fouQsV ed many years ago at Tuxedo by Pierre Lorlllard. The buying of shore front property at Great Neck has been' going on for months big prices being' paid In some cases and ere long the little hamlet will have been replaced by splendid summer cottages. Five thousand dollars an acre was paid tot an estate of 105 acres. Queen Wilhelmina's Crown. Queen Wilhelmina's crown is very gorgeous. It is of dull gold only the edges being polished. It consists of a crimson velvet cap inclosed in a! circle set with sapphires and emeralds. emer-alds. The imperial arches terminate In sixteen points, eight of which are surmounted by large single pearls, and the other eight bent toward the center and there crowned with the globe and cross, are ut with nine1 pearls each, which are graduated tn size, the smallest being placed at the top. ' H. C. Havemeyer'a Generosity. Until a few days ago Henry C. Hav-. emeyer had a claim of $15,000 against the First Presbyterian church of Greenwich, Conn: The church was.-built was.-built ten years ago, at which time Mr.! Havemeyer contributed $20,060 towar: a residence for the pastor. Xn 1909; he remitted $5,000 and last spring mo1 tified the pastor that 1C the congregation congre-gation would raise $5,000 more he' would cancel the remainder. The required re-quired amount has just been wb-scribed wb-scribed and the church is now free from debt. Both Reserved. Some time ago the lord lieuteaant of Ireland agreed to attend a certain race meeting and a carriage was referred re-ferred for his excellency in the cial train run from Dublin on the race . i-l , .1 . ,1.. .A-.t-iti day. Deemg mai iuo kujouuui carriage car-riage was reserved for Lord Ardllaua of brewing fame, one of whose products prod-ucts Is a malt liquor known as the XX, a porter took up a piece of chalk anA wrote upon the one carriage, For His Ex." and on the other, " For His XX." Perfumes Liked by Horses. However little credit a herse nvy commonly receive for possessing delicacy of scent, there are some perfumes per-fumes grateful to him. Horse-trainers are aware of the fact, and make use of their knowledge in training stubborn stub-born and apparently intractable anl-i mals. Many trainers nave favorite' perfumes the composition of which they keep a seeret, and it is the pos sesion of this means ef appealing, to the horse's aesthetloism that en-, ables so many of them to accomplish' such wonderful results. ! Irrigation Mguree. 4 The third annual report of the IrrV; gation Investigations of the oflloe e$ experimental stations. United State department of agriculture, made u4 der the direotlen of El wood MeadV says that averages of measureaeas embracing nearly all of the arid states' show that during the past three years enough water was turned into the heads of ditches during the Irrigation season to cover the land irrigated te a depth of 4.46 feet; or, stated in a ether way, 4.45 acre feet ef water, were taken from streams for every acre of land irrigated. Spencer Not a Vegetarian. 1 Herbert Spencer is poking fun at the vegetarians of England and has taken them completely by surprise ia-aamuch ia-aamuch as vegetarian faddists thought they could claim the philosopher af one of their own. Mr. Spencer does net apparently think highly of the mental state produced by a year of vegetabtf diet He said recently: "I went ovef all that I had written during the year I practiced vegetarianism and con-: Signed it all to the fire." Since then he has - been saying some facetious things about the "devotees of the truck garden," as he calls the vegetarians. vege-tarians. Mrs. Cleveland's Social Plans. ) Announcement is made that Mrs. Grover Cleveland, having seen her four children beyond the very young stage, will spend a good part of the. winter in New Tork mingling la social gayety. All the children except the boy "favor" their father. The except tion is distinctly a "Frances Folsom boy," so the friends of the family say. Miss Ruth has begun to go into society a little, though as yet she Is far from "out" But she visits numerous families fami-lies in the Cleveland set. French Premier Not a Giant. M. Combes, the French premier, Is only 5 feet 3 inches tall. He is by profession a physician. He was at' one, ume a scaooimasier una is s leaning lean-ing authority on French educational' affairs. His scholarship and literary activities have for years been large, and comprehensive, embracing such' topics as the Latin poet Virgil, Kant's metaphysics, the philosophy of St Augustine and the social theories ol 8t Simon. t Denver Women Are Ambitious. -The Jane Jefferson (women's) Democratic Club of Denver has taken out a thirty-years' charter. It Is hoped by the originators that the club, which was named in honor of the mother of Thomas Jefferson, will ultimately become be-come a national organization of Demo-, cratic women. ' (WiiawWi!wn& a Mn.;' '- wm WEBSTER'S International Dictionary f ENOLISH, Biography, EMfrtphy, Fiction, ito. The Oae Great Standard Authority. niInrWtiblK.lllMViib t3M bum. Lt Us Snd Y. A Test In frneitlr. ' . ' ; r- - FREE USfMH. UM USwtrmttaBa. r - - f,,1J, ftlrt iUm is vuirtjr, Mood-elMi la aba." ft, A CTkimk CO.. Pybs.. Ssrliufisli. sW |