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Show Thursday, May 13, 2004 SPRINGVILLE HERALD Dear Dr. Lillian Dear Dr. Lillian Question: Yesterday I was sitting sit-ting at my kitchen table with my friend when my daughter walked in with her toiletries bag and announced she was sleeping over at her girl friend's house. I reminded her that we were having hav-ing family guests over that evening. She rolled her eyes and said: Duh, whatever," and stomped out, slamming the door. I felt so embarrassed in front of my friend that I didn't know what to say. Answer: You have definitely just experienced the power of backtalk which is designed to take away your power and to induce emotional paralysis, hurt, embarrassment or guilt. Your daughter showed all the classic symptoms of backtalk: her tone, body language, words and the silence after the door slammed, all were inappropriate, inappropri-ate, hostile, uncooperative and controlling forms of communication communi-cation and behavior. Whereas respect and negotiation negotia-tion between teens and parents lead to an interaction where everybody wins, backtalk is an attention-getting and power-seeking power-seeking behavior designed to bring about a quick, aggressive and unearned advantage. Why does backtalk run rampant ram-pant in our culture, schools and homes? Three simple reasons come to mind: first, many teens are seeking their models in their age peers instead of in their parents par-ents because they feel their parents par-ents are emotionally unavailable; unavail-able; second, teens want to be important, but because they have not fully mastered the art of skillful negotiation, they resort re-sort to backtalk to gain a sense of power; third, in their quest for teenage viewers, TV shows and ads often powerfully undermine under-mine the child-parent relationship relation-ship by portraying parents as SHS students inducted into National Honor Society Thirty-four students from Springville High School were inducted into membership of the national Honor Society in a ceremony cer-emony held at the school on May 5th. Members were selected by a faculty council for meting high standards of scholarship, ser Book review by Ellen Book 1 of the O'Malley Series written by Dee Henderson is a romantic mystery. Called "The Negotiator," concerns Kate, one of seven young men and women who grew up together in an orphanage, then formed their own family with the name of CMalley. They went to court to change their names and maintained as strong ties as many conventional families. Each have secrets in their past that trouble and pain them. Kate is the heroine in this book, but in following series, other of the 'siblings' became the center of the noveL Each are well educated and in interesting jobs such as physician, medical examiner ex-aminer and US Marshall. Kate is a negotiator for the local police po-lice department. She loves her work and has pointedly avoided dating other cops until she meets Dave in a hostage situation where she is a negotiator and he is hiding behind a counter in the bank under siege. Needless to say, they fall in love, but it is a courtship filled with suspense as Kate becomes involved in a situation that is aimed to discredit and destroy her. The brothers and sisters come to each other's aid and support sup-port at the drop of a hat. Jennifer, the youngest, calls them all together to announce her engagement, Kate, ever observant, notices Jennifer's train and realizes that there is something more that she is keeping secret and that is soon revealed to her, but only to her, Henderson has an eye towards detail that makes the story believable and draws the reader into the conflict and action. Faith and religious belief have an undertone in a very well told and interesting story. P D D D D D D D D D D D D Art City Days Tennis Tournament June 9 -June 12,2004 Junior Division: 8:00 a.m. Adult Division: 6:00 p.m. Check events in which you want to play and submit entry form to: Glen Bird, P.O. Box 1062, Springville by Friday, June 4. Entries limited to 3 events. Open to SpringvilleMapleton residents only. Name: Phone: Address: City: Cost $3 per person per event (payable upon entry) 1 5 Boys: Singles Doubles Girl: Singles Doubles 19 Boys: Singles Doubles Girls: Singles Doubles Mixed Doubles-Junior Mixed Doubles-Adult 19-35 Mens: Singles Womens: Singles 35-59 Mens: Singles. Womens: Singles. Doubles.. Doubles.. . Doubles. . Doubles. Doubles. Doubles 50 & Older Mens: Singles. Womens: Singles. Doubles Partner Doubles Partner D D c Call Glenn Bird, 491-5060 for details. Must complete all play during the week of June 9-1 2-no excetions. (Must have at least 4 entries per division to carry. Make checks payable to Springville City Tennis Tournament. helpless and unintelligent. By the way, backtalk takes on many forms and is found at all ages. If a wife asks her husband hus-band what he is reading and he answers: "A book," then that is backtalk. If the husband asks his wife to hold a two-by-four while he drills holes' for screws, and she rolls her eyes and says: "I just polished my nails, they're wet," that is backtalk, too. Backtalk ranges from the two year-old saying: "You're stupid," to an intelligent adult's highly sophisticated analysis of what all is wrong with you. No matter what the age, people use backtalk to avoid giving what is needed and to avoid taking the next step in their own growth. It is extremely important to take action when backtalk comes your way. First, make it clear to the offender that you do not accept backtalk in any form. Second, choose and then enact a consequence that fits the backtalk. Then, ignore that person: Do not engage in a fight or in compromise. In your daughter's case, it would have been entirely appropriate appro-priate for you tell your friend that you do not accept this backtalk and that you will pick up your daughter at her friend's house. Once your daughter is at home, she may very well approach ap-proach you on her best behavior to renegotiate the sleepover. If you want your daughter to take the next step in her growth, don't give in! Your friend and your daughter daugh-ter will respect you for taking a stand. Best of all, you will respect re-spect yourself. Dear Dr. Lillian: Question: I'm a six -year -old boy. Why is it always me? Why do bad things always happen to me? Answer: Because you believe this to be true. Change what vice, leadership and character. Students inducted were: Melissa Ann Wood, Tiffany Farr, Julie Hatch, Jacob Jackson, Jack-son, Shantell Mack, lindsey Moore, Katelyn Sheffield, Alyssa Sperry, Michele Wilkins, Brian Anderson, Nicholas Angell, Paul a D D D D D fl D 0 D D D D D D j you believe. It's just as easy to believe that you are blessed and all good comes to yoa Even a difficulty is just a gift in disguise dis-guise so you can learn to love yourself properly. Dear Dr. Lillian: Question: Just recently, I overheard over-heard two grownups talking about how teenagers are from the twilight zone. I've also heard my dad make jokes about it on the phone. Why do adults think teens are crazy? The reason I'm asking is because be-cause I have always been a straight A student and still am, but sometimes lately I just feel like I'm ready to crawl out of my skin if I have to sit through one more family dinner. All I want to do is hole up in my room and listen lis-ten to music Answer: Yes, teenage needs are often misunderstood. The key to understanding lies in brain research. Recent studies by Jay Giedd have shown that the brain undergoes un-dergoes at least as much development devel-opment in the teen years as it does when a child is two years old and acquiring speech. What may seem like mayhem to adults is in reality the teen brain changing at a tremendous rate and shifting powerfully both in mental precision and passion. (That's why teens like to argue) Scans of teenage brains show that the brain's outer layer or gray matter thickens and then thins down This makes the teen brain highly receptive to new information and skills. There is also new growth in the cerebral cortex and parietal lobes which have to do with logic log-ic and spatial reasoning, in the temporal areas which have to do with language acquisition, and in the frontal lobes which have to do with planning ahead, resisting impulses, and "being grownup." (That's why teens are so grownup one moment and so impulsive the next) The teen brain is experiencing experienc-ing overproduction and powerful power-ful synaptic shaping. If you Bartholomew, Heather Baugh, Courtney Brooke, Nathan Boy-er, Boy-er, Tabitha Burrows and Cy Credille. Danielle Dearden, Gregory Goddard, Kris Haderlie, Lara Leishman, Louisa McSweeney, Kimberly Millsap-Brown, Cori Nielson, Matthew Patrick, Hay-ley Hay-ley Reidhead, Morgan Robertson, Robert-son, Tiffany Siddoway, Amanda Aman-da Theobald, Brandon Tullis, Lorene Waddoups, Brittany Walpole, Kevin Watson and Hilary Hi-lary Wright. "National Honor Society members are chosen for and then expected to continue their exemplary contributions to the school and community," said Mrs. Simmons, chapter adviser. Brad Chandler (President), conducted the ceremony and administered the oath. Jeremy Dye (Vice President) was presented pre-sented with the Patricia J. Kauffman National Honor Society Soci-ety Scholarship of $500. Amber Terry (Public Realtions) presented pre-sented a power point about the National Honor Society. Danielle James (Historian) put together a scrapbook of what our chapter has done this year. Amber and Danielle read the names of all those who were inducted. in-ducted. They also had a musical selection by Kara Tullis, and Anna Day on the French Horn. The National Honor Society ranks as one of the oldest and most prestigious national organizations orga-nizations for high school students. stu-dents. Chapters exist in more than 60 percnet of the nation's high schools, and since 1921, millions of students have been selected for membership. Millions Mil-lions of dollars in scholarships have been awarded to senior members since 1945 by the sponsoring organiztion, the National Na-tional Association of Secondary School Principals (NASSP). am 296 S. Main Springville "FALL IN LOVE WITH PIZZA AGAIN" FREE DELIVERY TO SPRINGVILLE AND MAPLETON! 491-9111 look at the human brain from birth to adulthood, you will find that the synapses before birth rise to adult level at birth, then to two times adult levels in childhood; then in puberty there is an additional growth spurt.of the frontal lobes. (That is why teenagers experience such a shift in priorities; needing to be popular is one of them) In other words, do not worry! Your brain is just highly high-ly stimulated and growing. No, you are not going crazy, you are evolving! (That's why teens are sometimes so uncomfortable uncomfort-able and driven and why loud rhythmic music is so soothing to them) If you would like to handle your impulses and restlessness differently at dinner time, give your mind a problem to solve or visualize relaxing in the waters of a blue lagoon or hear music in your mind. Your brain can easily handle being on two tracks. This way you will give your heightened brain synapses enough to do so you can relax with your family. Dear Reader of any age: You are welcome to e-mail questions at lzarndtcity-for-children-and-teens.org dDFlIlQVlll M I J still making music Musically speaking, two Springville girls have made good. Jane Harrison Calder and Naomi Boyer Bonney grew up in Springville, graduated from Springville High and then BYU. Each studied music for many years, Jane on the piano and Naomi on both piano and oboe. During high school each became be-came a piano teacher; Naomi retired re-tired recently, but Jane will note 52 years as a teacher this summer. sum-mer. After marriage both settled set-tled in the Salt Lake Valley to raise children and play beautiful music. For many years Naomi was a member of the Utah Valley Symphony and then the Salt Lake Symphony Orchestra. In addition to starting a business, Making Music Fun, which sells By: Dan Drost UTAH STATE UNIVERSITY EXTENSION VEGETABLE SPECIALIST Spring is here, and it's time to trunk tomatoes. Consider the following information to get the best possible crop. Tomatoes are categorized by maturity class (early, mid-season mid-season or late), fruit size (cherry, (cher-ry, pear, plum or large), plant size (determinate, semi-determinate or indeterminate), fruit color col-or (red, pink, yellow, orange), or use (fresh, process or dual use). When selecting varieties, consider the growing environment, environ-ment, primary use and available growing space. Most garden centers and nurseries carry varieties va-rieties that have been proven to grow well and produce high quality, flavorful fruits for local conditions. Tomatoes can be grown from seeds or transplants. Transplants should have about five to seven mature leaves and a well-developed root system. Transplants mature about four weeks before seeded tomatoes and are recommended for most growing areas of Utah. Tomatoes prefer a sunny location lo-cation and fertile, well-drained soils. Incorporate plenty of organic or-ganic matter and a complete fertilizer into the area before planting. Once planted, avoid heavy fertilization, which encourages en-courages excessive foliage growth and delays fruit maturity. maturi-ty. Side dress with nitrogen (34-0-0) using one tablespoon per plant at four and eight weeks after transplanting. Plant tomato seeds directly in the garden 10-14 days before the last frost date. Most gardeners garden-ers transplant tomatoes through black plastic for earlier maturity. maturi-ty. Use row covers or hot caps to protect the plants when transplanting before the frost-free frost-free period. Plant tomatoes two feet apart in the row with rows spaced two to three feet apart. The following are answers to recent tomato questions. Q: What causes the flowers to drop off my tomato plants? A: During unfavorable weather weath-er (night temperatures lower than 55 F, or day temperatures above 95 F), tomatoes do not set and flowers abort. The problem usually disappears as the weather weath-er improves. Q: What can I do to prevent my tomatoes from cracking? A: Some varieties are more prone to cracking than others. Many of the newer hybrid varieties vari-eties are quite resistant. Severe root or vine pruning increases cracking. Keep soil moisture uniform as the tomatoes develop devel-op and plant resistant varieties Tomato questions answered 2004 Peteetneet Quilt Show The Peteetneet Arts Council will hold it's second annual quilt show from June 14 to 30. It will be held in the Little Theater this year to accommodate more quilts and participants. They encourage en-courage you to start planning; so you can help make this an even greater event each year. There will be a vote again this year on the people's choice award and other awards. They will have categories for baby quilts, full sized quilts, wall hangings and af ghans. They encourage en-courage anyone from the area who wants to participate to get your entries ready. There will be a limit of two quilts per person. Anyone is welcome wel-come to participate, but the quilts that were entered last year will not qualify. They will raffle a quilt again this year as well. Application forms are available at the Peteetneet Academy (located at 10 S. 600 East), Payson City Offices, Payson Library and many local yardage and quilt shops. This will be another fund-raiser for the elevator at the Peteetneet Peteet-neet Academy; so they are charging $3 per quilt or $5 for two for entry. You can enter your quilts at Peteetneet on June 7 from 10 a.m. to 4 pm or Tuesday, June 8, from 4 to 8 p.m. They will keep you informed and hope that this year's quilt show will be even bigger and better than last year's. With the support of Payson and the surrounding communities, communi-ties, they can continue to make this another Payson traditioa For details call Dona Brian, 4654940, or Peteetneet Academy, 465-9427. e women her original games and teaching aids to teachers, Jane has been an accompanist for the women's chorus of the Schubert Singers for 22 years. Naomi joined this group as co-accompanist three years ago. The Schubert Singers are celebrating cel-ebrating their 70th anniversary by presenting two spring concerts. con-certs. The first will be held on Saturday, May 15 at 7 p.m. at West High School, 314 N. 300 West, in Salt Lake City. The second will be held a week later, lat-er, Saturday, May 22, 7:30 p.m. at the Assembly Hall on Temple Square in Salt Lake City. The performances will feature fea-ture music from two great Broadway musicals, "South Pacific" Pa-cific" and "Les Miserables." And they promise you'll tap your to minimize this problem. Q: I sometimes see small, cloudy white spots just under the skin of my tomatoes. What causes this? A: These spots on green or ripe fruits are caused by the feeding of stink bugs. Q: Why are the new leaves on my tomato pointed, cupped, twisted and irregular in shape? A: It is likely that your tomatoes toma-toes have been injured by 2,4-D or a similar growth regulator Library corner byPatBartlett As school winds down, activities activi-ties at the library are kicking into high gear. The theme this year for the summer reading program is "Hats Off to Summer Reading". Read-ing". Sign-ups for the program will begin on Tuesday, May 25, and continue through June 7. You can come in and get the information in-formation on the program any time between those dates. Entertainment programs for the summer will be held on Mondays at 10:30 a.m. "Par4i-ci-play" Creative Drama will be Tuesdays at 10;30 a.m. Story-time Story-time will be Wednesdays at 10:30 a.m. Crafts will be held on Thursday at 10:30 a.m. There will be no programs on Friday and Saturday. There will be lots of fun for the children to participate in at the library, through June to July 17, so come in and sign up and let's give "Hats Off to Summer r That means that you can call on me to fill your needs with the coverage you want and at the lowest possible cost. Farmers Insurance Group specializes in Auto, Fire, Life and Commercial insurance and is famous for fast, fair, friendly claims service. I'd like to meet you. Why not give me a call today. I think you'll be glad you did. toes to "Sentimental Journey" and "Chattanooga Choo Choo," swinging music from the 40s. The chorus will also sing three songs by the legendary composer compos-er Franz Schubert, from whom the group took its name. Jane and Naomi are the guest artists at these concerts and will play duets as well as two-piano numbers. They invite their friends from Springville to join them in an evening of memorable memo-rable music. The concerts are free and no tickets are needed. Two other former Springville residents are singers with the Schubert group and will also be part of the concerts. They are Julie Castleton Hempel, who will be president of the group next year, and Lorna Dee ShurtleffPoeker. weed killer. Never use the same sprayer in your vegetable garden gar-den that you use for weed control con-trol in your lawn. Use caution when applying lawn care chemicals chem-icals near vegetables or fruit plantings. If applying grass clippings clip-pings to the garden, make sure the herbicides used are safe for food plants. Consult with your lawn care professional to ensure en-sure the chemicals applied to your lawn will not affect your edible garden plants. Reading." "The DaVinci Code" has been a runaway best seller with people peo-ple waiting to get the book read for months. Those of you have read it and found questions that you might want to discuss with someone, can do just that on Thursday, May 20, at 7 p.m. in the city council chambers. The address is 50 South Main. Vern Swan-son, Swan-son, Director of the Art Museum, Muse-um, and well versed in Art History His-tory and Religion, will lead the discussion. The 4th annual Teddy Bears Picnic will be held on Monday, June 7, as part of the Art City Days celebration. It will be held at the library for children 2-5 years old and their parents. Don't forget to bring your blanket, blan-ket, sack lunch, and of course, your Teddy Bears. Tickets can be purchased at the library any time. Come in and get yours soon. Karen Snow 25 East 200 South Springville, UT (801) 489-8000 """" ' 'V i in- t- im. , |