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Show Page Eight - The Springville Herald - August 5, 1987 That's Life A Traveler's Notebook Traveling companions by Roger Sturman Every now and then, a good story comes along. Nobody seems to know where it started or how it was distributed, but everyone hears one version or two of the story before it dies of old age. Lately, there are two good funny stories going around. I repeat them here for your enjoyment. en-joyment. The Fisherman No matter what the weather, no matter who else was catching fish, one fisherman always pulled up to the boat dock with a full limit of the biggest fish ever seen coming out of that lake. Day after day, the performance per-formance was repeated until it caught the attention of the local game warden. "How is it you always come in with such a great catch?" the warden asked. "Just takes skill," the fisherman answered. "Would you mind if I come along sometime?" the warden asked again. "Nope. Goin' out tomorrow mornin' at 6:30, be on time or you'll get left!" The game warden met the fisherman at the dock at the appointed ap-pointed time and they got in a boat and started rowing across the lake. The warden couldn't help but notice that the fisherman had only a tackle box and no fishing pole. He was curious but didn't ask about it. "This looks like a good place," the fisherman said. "Thow out the anchor!" 'The game warden did as he was told. The fisherman opened his tackle box, took out a hand grenade, pulled the pin and dropped it in the water. "KAHWHUUMP!" The boat rocked from the underwater un-derwater explosion and dozens of fish came floating to the top. The fisherman began to select the biggest of the lot and netted them on board. "You can't do that -Don't you know that's illegal?" the warden screamed. "I'm going to arrest you! You're breaking the law!" The fisherman looked at the warden for what seemed like an eternity. Slowly, he reached into the tackle box, took out another grenade, pulled the pin and tossed it across the boat to the game warden. "You gonna talk, or fish?" he asked. The Dirty Bird A lady who had always wanted to own a parrot, saw a beautiful bird for sale in a pet shop window. It had a sign on the perch that said "SALE PRICED AT JUST $100." She went inside and told the shopkeeper she wished to purchase the bird. "There's just one thing," the merchant informed her. "The parrot has a problem with filthy language, that's why we had to reduce the price." "Oh, that's OK," the lade informed in-formed him. "I can cure him of that!" The deal was made and the parrot was taken home. Everything went well for about two weeks and then the parrot lived up to his reputation. One day while the visiting teachers were in the house, the most foul of phrases was uttered by the bird. The lady of the house was so embarassed and so enraged that she grabbed the parrot and put him in the refrigerator. Five minutes later her visitors had gone and she opened the refrigerator and took the bird out. "Do you know why I did that?" she asked the parrot? "Yes," the parrot replied. "Do you have any questions?" "No," the bird said. A month passed and the parrot behaved admirably. Then one day he did it again. Everyone within earshot was shocked. The lady again grabbed the parrot and put it in the refrigerator. This time she left it for 10 minutes, sitting in the dark, cold compartment. "Do you know why I did that?" she asked. "Yes," the parrot replied. "Do you have any questions?" "No," the bird said. Six months went by and everything was going just fine between the parrot and the lady until once again the bird forgot himself and let out a string of curses that really made the lady angry. She grabbed the bird and this time she put him in the deep freeze. The parrot remained there for 30 minutes. When he was removed, he was half frozen. Coated with frost, he was so cold he could hardly move. "Do you know why I did that?" she asked. "Yes," the parrot replied. "Do you have any questions?" "Just one," the bird answered. "Well, what is it?" she demanded. "Would you mind telling me what that Turkey in there said?" the parrot asked. Keep smiling folks! Pep, flag and cheer clinics 'Pep, flag and cheer clinics for 8th and 9th grade girls are starting. Registration will be held Saturday, August 8 from 9 to 11 a.m. at the Springville High School. The cost of $16 includes a T-shirt. The clinics are sponsored by the Springville High Pep Club. A squirrel can run as fast as twelve miles per hour. RAILROAD TIES FOR SALE A & K Railroad Materials, Inc. 1300 N. 350 E., Fairview Or 1 mile north of Walker's Oil Food and Fuel on Milburn Hwy 200,000 each 8 to 16-foot lengths. 801-427-3881 by Albert Ottomeyer At least one group of travelers has it easy when it comes to choosing travel companions. Families never have to worry about who to take along when plotting that week at Yellowstone or weekend in Aspen-they Aspen-they can take each other. Surely a childhood is not complete without at least one memory of the great family vacation. And what a memory it usually is: children fighting in the backseat, parents fighting in the front, stopping at every possible opportunity to frequent roadside picnic spots, roadside, bathroom spots, roadside tourist traps. Then, of course, there is the vacation you take with your loved one, after your own childhood and before your own children are born-the born-the great romantic getaway. What better way to test your potential spouse than to take him or her away for a quiet weekend. Before embarking em-barking on such a journey, hours and hours are spent selecting the perfect destination, one with just the mix of intimacy and excitement, comfort and interest. The company is pre-determined and, barring any drastic revelations along the way, hopefully delightful. As the romance develops on such a jaunt, the locale becomes less important-the sheer bliss of it all seems to make up for any deficiencies in scenery. For those without family or immediately im-mediately handy loved one to whisk off to Hawaii or Maine, choosing the proper travel companion becomes one of the most crucial elements in awell-planned trip. The perfect travelmate must have just the right amount of tolerance of unexpected problems, interest in the same aspects of travel as you, willingness to spend as much money as is required at any given time. This person must speak when you wish to speak and remain silent when you want to be left alone. This person must not be constantly borrowing things, but he or she must have an ample supply of things for you to borrow. Happy when you're happy, ft ... i " m Christopher Smart Dalton, son of Dan and Susan Smart Dalton of Greeley. Colo., formerly of Springville, will celebrate his first birthday on August 6, 1987. He has an older brother, Scott. His grandparents are Merrill and Effie Smart of Springville and Glade and Larelle Dalton of Silver Reef. Utah. Great-grandparents Great-grandparents are Jay and Lucile Smart of Springville, Harold and Effie Felsted of Pullman, Wa., Delsey Leany of St. George and Edna Dalton Gifford of Hurricane, Utah. complaining when you are, matching mat-ching you in virtually every mood at the right moments-these are the attributes of the ideal travelmate. On my first non-family, non-romance non-romance trip, I somehow managed to hit it lucky and end up with pretty close to the perfect companion. I was worried as the trip-a ten-day cycling journey through southern Ireland-began, for my companion did not have a very good record. His last travel companion had only spoken to him once in a year following their vacation together. But whatever problems they had, we did not. Despite such adversities as breaking down bicycles, pouring rain, and the mysterious loss of fifty dollars from our communal kitty, we handled just about everything well. But, alas, not every excursion goes this smoothly. Picture this setting: A tiny island off the coast of Sicily. Four old friends have been traveling together for about three weeks before they land here, and while some tension has developed between them, things are bearable and still somewhat enjoyable. After two days on the island, a split develops in the group. Two people want to lie on the beach and soak up more sun, the other two want to get moving and see more of Europe. There is a fight, followed by what seems to be a resolution. One particular member of the group given to occasional fits of rage never previously experienced by the other "old friends"-let us call her Jane-seems Jane-seems happy, and so everyone else breathes easier. The argument, however, resurfaces resur-faces at dinner, and continues with force and vigor back to the hotel room. Suddenly, the heretofore " verbal argument has descended to the level of physical confrontation. Jane's hands are quite literally around one of her old friend's throat and pandemonium has broken loose. By the end of the disagreement, blood has been shed, obscenities have been flung, and perfectly sound friendships-those which might have lasted years under normal circumstances-have broken apart under the strains of travel. Admittedly, bloodthirsty battle on the road is probably rare-although one might feel like killing a travel companion, one generally restrains the urge. The need to take out frustrations generally submerges itself under the desire to enjoy a tolerable remainder of the vacation. Especially when breaking up might make travel difficult of even impossible, im-possible, the instinct to "grin and bear it" kicks in. Then again, there comes occasionally oc-casionally the urge, especially when cooped up for hours on boats or trains or other confined spaces, to bicker. Nothing serious here-just some healthy nitpicking. Sort of what you and your favorite sibling Uoed to do in the back seat. This is probably the healthiest way to avoid serious catastrophe while vacationing, a way in which to smile while letting off steam. On some trips, this skill-involving quick reflexes and a hefty amount of sarcasm-can be as indispensable as your Serbo-Croatian phrasebook. "You really could have left a tip with lunch, you know," says a slightly disgruntled diner on the streets of Nice. "The service was lousy. Besides, look who's talking, Mr. Moneybags who just couldn't afford another museum admission," comes the quick reply. "Well, I'd be a little more solvent if we stop staying in every Hilton we come across." Touche. "I just do that for you. I can't stand the continual complaints about dirty hotel rooms," flies the j f - ff'fs , fs4 s f f I- .- '. NO FIGHTING ALLOWED: Old friends explore the tepidarium, or warm water room, at the Forum Baths of Pompeii. Albert Ottomeyer photo. nice but just a little too personal reply. And on it goes without logical end in sight. Slowly, the pressure dissipates, and soon something more interesting comes along and the quarrel ceases. Friends remain friends, no hospital bills result, and those vacation memories remain intact. The month April comes from Aperire, Latin for "to open" as do buds that month. In' the 1600s by some estimate, the average American wife gave birth to 13 children. Happy traveling, be it in a station wagon to Los Angeles or a jet to Tokyo. And remember, No Fighting Allowed. Seward's icebox was the derisive name given to the Alaska Territory when the U.S. purchased it from Russia at a cost of less than two cents an acre. bodCoal Stove 1 Consolidated flufclivi We are offering a 10 dis count on any Consolidated Dutchwest stove or fireplace insert. In addition, you'lll receive a free Corning Catalytic Com- bustor. Stove Owner's Package: It is a must for clean, sale wood-burning. wood-burning. The exceptional engineering engi-neering of the popular Federal Convection series includes these standard features: all cast-iron, airtight construction wood and coal burning , catalytic combustion front and side loading doors circulating and radiant heat ceramic glass windows ... & much more! Four useful around the stove items are yours free with every stove purchased. Standing Wrought Iron Fireset $43.95 value Jumbo Log Tote $27.95 value Safety Stove Cloves $16.95 value Ash or Coal Container $39 95 value Total Package $128.80 value Call or write for your free stove catalogue! W! PAY THI SALES TAX Vaud Hanks and Son 239 South Main Springville, Utah 84663 489-9310 T I - ' ''hpV: V$f&. . I i A , fTil I . ' I ... I j ; f jfu4;W V. ' '- L, - ? J ' j'' Experience a kaleidoscope of costume and color, music and dance as more than 600 dancers and musicians from 17 countries dazzle the imagination at the World Folkfest 1987. Experience the world as you see all-new teams from four continents perform in authentic folk costumes to audiences audi-ences in Ogden, Salt Lake and Springville. This year's World Folkfest the largest in North Americafeatures Amer-icafeatures performers from Japan, India, Israel, Spain and Brazil. B 1 B B B B fl B B B B B B fl B B B B fl Ticket Request Form Tickets may be ordered either by mail or telephone. To order by mail, simply complete the order form below and mail to World Folkfest, R0. Box 306, Springville, Utah 84003. To order by telephone, call Salt Lake City, 538-2253; Ogden, 626-6550; Springville, Spring-ville, 489-3213. NAME ADDRESS '. CITY, STATE. ZIP PHONE ( ) Salt Lake City Performances ail al Capilol Itiealre Thursday Aug 6 8 00nli Friday. Aug 7 1) 00 p m Saturday Aug 6 8 00 pin Ticket prices (mdiviuual seats! Subtotal Postage and Handling TOTAL ENCLOSED Number of IicKefs Ordered Main 1 ower Upper nooi Balcony Balcpny $600 ssoo s . $200 $ Ogden Number of Tickeis Ordered Adults Featuring performers from: Antigua Argentina Austria Belgium Brazil Canada Polish Hungary India , Israel Italy Sardinia Italy Sicily Japan Malaysia Spain Switzerland United States Yugoslavia 1 I If i II l ILJ in b a B fl I B A IPS,' Performances Tuesday Aug 11.8 00pm. Dee Events Center Wednesday. Aug 12. 8 00 p m Browning Auditorium Thursday. Aug 13. 8 00 p m. Dee Evenls Cenler Individual Rale $600 Subfolal S Passport Rate (All 3 performances) , . SI5 00 Subtotal S Group Rale (10 at more adults for above uei formances) . Subfolal ... . . . Puslage and Handling TOTAL ENCLOSED Under 12 $300 $ $700 $ . $SO0ea. .$ $2 00 .$ Springville Number ol Tickets Oideied Adults Under 12 Performances. Saturday. Aug 8. 8 00 p m Ouldoor Stage Monday Aug 10. 8 00 p m Ouldoor Stage Springville High School tuesday. Aug 11 8 00pm . Outdoor Slage Thursday. Aug 13. 8 00 p m Ouldoor Slage Friday Aug 14. 8 00 p m Outdoor Stage Springville High School Saturday. Aug 15.8 00pm Ouldoor Slage Individual Rale Subtotal Passport Rate (Select 3 pei I ) . Subtotal , $ Group Rale (10 or more adults lor above performances! . ,' $500ea. subtotal $ Postage and Handling QOO TOTAL ENCLOSED "..;".'$ $6 00 $1500 $300 $7 00 $ EL |