OCR Text |
Show That Was No Lad Gag May Come Back, Comedian Fears NEW YORK am-"Who was that lady I seen you with last night?" "That was no lady, that was . . (gales of laughter). But the date of the above was about 1904. Now 43 years later, Jackie Miles gloomily kicked at the little rug in his dressing room, and said: "That's what we're coming back to unless we suddenly produce pro-duce a new crop of comedy writers." Jackie expresses the concern of almost every high-priced comedian come-dian from Broadway clear across to Hollywood. There is no shortage short-age in the country more acute than the current scarcity of writers writ-ers able to eke guffaws from the steadily toughening post - war audiences. "This will kill you," Jackie said, "but the other day a few of us got together and began to wonder why colleges didn't have courses In creating gags. They teach almost al-most everything else, yet heie is a highly paid business they neglect neg-lect entirely, even though this country's, reputation for laughing loudest and longest is at stake. "We were wondering now don't laugh whether comedians could endow a course of that sort somewhere. I should think it Different CONTIOlt OANOiurr ietooMS CONTAINS Tk; esaamc Oil Yr '...MONK SACK OUAIAMIHfe, Sold Everywhere 1 H 'A would be popular. The late Al Boasberg used to make $100,000 a year at it and Dave Freedman made even more. Top radio writers writ-ers like Goodman Ace have gotten got-ten nearly $3,000 a week. So why should nt some college teach it? Jackie often writes his own material but it's a strain with seVeral shows a day. even though he is now in the $3,500 a week class. "It takes- a special kind of mind," Jackie said, "but I think there are many men and women with the odd slant on things that provokes laughs who have never tried to write comedy. For ex ample, take that old saw about 'who was that lady I seen you with?' "If you were to show that to a trained writer he'd immediately begin thinking of ways to 'switch' it into a new gag. Like this: "First cannibal Who was that lady I seen you with last night? "Second cannibal That was no lady that was my dinner. "I don't say it would bring down the house, Jackie con tinued. "but it's different. And we (desperately need different material. Radio eats up in a single half hour a routine that used to keep an old time vaudeville act touring the world in comfort for years." He picked up a contributed script. Over his shoulder I could read: Master Maggie, look at the dust on this table. I can write my ijname on it. Maid Ain't education wonder ful! "SERVICE with A SMILE AT- STRONG I MOTOR CO. CENTRAL UTAH'S Service Headquarters for Lincoln & Mercury Cars Factory-trained mechanics . . factory-approved factory-approved equipment . . . GENUINE factory partsl You'll save time, money and worry If yoo bring your Lincoln or Mercury here. We know your car inside and out. Exclusive Lincoln-Mercury Dealer TRY OUR SUPER AUTO SERVICE QIGONG MOTOR COMPANY H50 No. 5th West, Provo, Utah BRAKES TIRES LIGHTS PARTS Student Morals Are Deplorable, Says Reverend LONDON, April 15 (U PJ The Reverend Brian Green told his Holy Trinity church congregation last night that the morals of American students are deplorable deplor-able as bad as the U. S.. educational edu-cational system. The vicar recently returned from a lecture tour of high schools and universities in the United States. He declared that sexual, intimacy inti-macy between high school students stu-dents was "very common" and that it was "suggested" that at least 90 per cent of male students and 70 per cent of women students stu-dents at state universities had non-marital sexual relations. The sex problem, he said, was only one of many caused by coeducation. co-education. "The quality of education in America is much poorer than in England." he. said. "The average boy or girl in England is about a year to 18 months ahead of his or her equal in America." Green stated that approximately approximate-ly SO per cent of American university uni-versity students were forced to leave after the first year because they did not make satisfactory grades. He insisted tj$ American educational edu-cational system had one good feature: "It keeps young people out of factories in a school atmosphere at-mosphere until they are 18 or 19." "But I found that these ywung American students can be very easily led it any direction,' the reverend concluded. "For this reason they could easily become fascist or communist." In Distress V ' ' Asthma Diagnosis Aided By Machine (SEA Telephoto) Film star James Cagney's yacht, with actor believed aboard, flashed SOS to Coast Guard Headquarters Headquar-ters at Long Beach. Calif. Engine was reported crippled and unable to make harbor by sail. Storm warnings were flying along the coast. Cagney is shown at helm. Largest Liner Goes Aground SOUTHAMPTON. Eng.. April 15 (U.R- The Cunard White Star, liner Queen Elizabeth, world's largest passenger vessel, wenti aground, two miles off Southampton Southamp-ton tonight, but company officials offi-cials said she was expected to be re-floated soon. Cunard officials in London confirmed on earlier report from the Calshot signal station that the 85,000-ton ship, carrying 2,440 passengers from New York, was "stationary" near Bourne buoy, and that seven tugs apparently were ,trying to refloat her. flores, or "flower-kissers," fn Brazil. mm o up MM if Sign Censored, Artist Angered NEW YORK (U.R) Waldo Pierce, one of America's best known painters, is burned up. He wants to know what happened to bis beer and ale. And he is resolved re-solved not to yield until he finds out. The "beer and ale" he is referring refer-ring to appears in his picture "County fair" as a sign on a tent where bottled drinks are sold. A Boston newspaper reproduced the painting in rotogravure. But the "beer and ale" sign was blocked out before printing. Annoyed, Pierce wrote to the editor: ". . . Is 'Backward Bay' and its newspaper still under prohibition? prohibi-tion? Signs arc integral parts of a picture, too. Or did somebody like the beer and ale part so well they took it home with tnem and left the rest of the picture?" "County Fair" is a particularly well-known example of contemporary contem-porary American art. It went to Paris in the Museum of Modern Art American exhibition. It was selected for color reproduction in "America" the O. W. I. Russian language newspaper. Life Maga zine and Art News reproduced the painting in color Art Digest in black and white. The New Times, the New York Sun and the Philadelphia Record recently reproduced the painting to illustrate illus-trate book reviews of Alan D. Gruskin's "Painting in the U.S.A." "In all my wide experience." Pierce said, "this is the first time I have come across an instance in which a reputable publication has deliberately altered an artist's art-ist's work without the artist's permission." BOSTON (U.R) A new method! of diasnosins and studying asth ma without causing the patient undue discomfort has been de vised by two Massachusetts Me morial hospital researcn aoexors. A vital capacity machine Is used by Drs. Francis C. Lowell and Irvine W. Schiller to measure the effect of certain pollens which afflict sufferers from asthma. Here's how their system works: First, the machine measures the greatest volume of breath a patient pa-tient can exhale. The volume is measured under normal circum stances. Then the patient inhales deeply "an aerosolized extract containing pollen." If the patient is sensitive to the inhaled extract, a real but mild asthmatic condition is produced as indicated by a decrease in his ability to blow out as much air Utah Employment Security Setup To Be Revamped SALT LAKE CITY, April 15 (U.R) Plans for reorganization of certain departments of the Utah department of employment security se-curity have been completed, B L. Flanagan, executive secretary, announced today. The reorganization, Flanagan said, would concern the field op erations of the organization and provide for the regrouping of cer tain functions directly under the administrative office. Approximately 14 towns, Flanagan Flana-gan explained, would be affected affect-ed by a division of combined offices of-fices in smaller Utah cities. He said that counseling, testing, community relations, industrial services, labor relations and industrial in-dustrial relations will be transferred trans-ferred from the employment division di-vision to direct supervision of the administrative office. IT COST S45 PLUS GOSHEN, Ind. t.E Loren L. Hendrix, Toledo, O., paid a fine of $45, besides having his automobile auto-mobile impounded, to a Goshen judge. Hendrix was found guilty of driving 85 miles an hour, without license plates, on his way from Toledo to Chicago. He explained ex-plained that he was going to get his new license at Chicago "because "be-cause they cost $45 in Toledo." Beetles, said to be the "strong men" of the insect world, can lift 700 times their own weight. as previously Into the vital capacity ca-pacity machine. The decrease is measured on the machine and may occur even though the person being tested does not have the usual asthmatic symptoms. A former method of detecting which substances cause asthmatic attacks was to inject extracts into the skin. A serious disadvantage was that reactions often occurred to substances which were not factors fac-tors in the production of asthmatic attacks. A less common method was to blow pollen into the patient's pa-tient's face. DAILY HERALD Tuesday, April IB, 1947 Chain, Mail-Order Sales Still Climbing WASHINGTON (U.R) The commerce com-merce department today estimated estimat-ed February chain store and mail order sales at $1,656,000,000, or 20 per cent more than the same month last year. The increase over January was two per cent, allowing allow-ing for seasonal factors and a difference dif-ference in trading days. Experiments with the Jeru-salem Jeru-salem artichoke have produced! sweeter sugar thaa is yielded by; either sugar beet or sugar cane. i? iihf M tir FUMVOSUS CAUSE FIDGETING ' AMD THAT AWFUL ITCH no of tho warnlnr of Pin-Wonns Is . a MMtoff rectal itch which of tea wm Mcstinc aaa broke aloto, mad wamf m4 to evta nor serious disnsas. It is bo feasor tMWT to ot p wKk tfes troablo ouwj bp Pis-Worma. iicim -ewaco has at last foo4 a war to ldc this sttibbora prnta asfly and safely. CotJAYNrS rWttba flrstsin of Pin War ias. fW to aMdieaUr sound treat-Mat treat-Mat based oa as officially neocnixed droa? lemons wnica nas pivvvu I J enrcuTV irv . doalin with this sxiy infection. Tho snail P-W tablets art ta m social way to destroy ria-Woraja, P-W aaaaaa ria-Woraa rtiicf I (Adv. If ;it3;fv'i.3t;t 1 i B0E1ER BLOCKS PERMANENCE... tlllllTI WHS tlfll VlltlTIIS BEAUTY... iiriia taiitisit . . . cisict riNita tiitiii AVAILABILITY... sTScit i c i a i siiiiitr ECONOMICAL For additional inlormatioa and mwvic - - wfi's today for Ire informally material. 1 i BUEHNER CINDER BLOCK COMPANY C$1 SIMP SIR SILT AVE. PIONE LAKE eiTV, ITal I nit Pretty and Cool NOW COMES FROM SHELL RESEARCH It brings together all the important qualities needed for engine protection New-formula Golden Shell Motor Oil achieves a goal long-sought by lubrication lubrica-tion engineers. For now, Shell Research takes the latest and most important of many steps forward : It brings together the best of new-found components com-ponents . . . combines them in a unique new formula for motor oil. In one of the most extreme tests ever made, this XciL-I'ormula Golden Shell Motor Oil ranked at the top in every oil quality. With all the important compounds needed to clean your engine ... to keep it clean ... and to provide a protective oil film of lasting, staying stay-ing strength, New-Formula Golden Shell is proved to provide engine protection far excess of the demands of average driving. Yes, in every sense, this is a premium quality oil. Yet it sells at a non-premium price. Your nearest Shell Station has New-Formula Golden Shell Motor Oil now at just 30 cents a quart ! i4',J;- (lit' MXtfLx-':-, ;-'wawBaw h 8158tefl f A premium qualify oil at a, non-premium price S&rLn rb n , pt I J poms on L J BY SUE BURNETT Fresh as a posy on a summer morning is this charming yoked frock. Four buttons fasten each shoulder, the square neckline is especially attractive. Why not try a flower sprinkled design in soft sheer fabrics. Pattern No. 8158 comes in sizes 12, 14. 16, 18 and 20. Size 14. 3'4 yards of 35 or 39-inch. For this pattern, send 25 cents, in COINS, your name, address, size desired, and the PATTERN NUMBER to Sue Burnett (The Daily Herald) 828 Mission street, San Francisco 3, Cal. Don't miss the Spring issue of FASHION jt's filled with bright ideas for every woman who sews for herself and her family. Styles by well known designers, easy to make patterns, a free gift pattern pat-tern printed inside the book, 25 cents. New-fannu GOIOCN SHIU he comet in MA-rofiff ofe's cons vf f Ao pries fsusf 30c per qt fku rax FOR Fuel Oil Notify The McCoard Oil Co. Write Your Order On a Post Card Mail To I. O. BOX 265 Deliveries Can Usually' Be Made Within 24 Hours Stems This is the second week of the telephone strike and we regret sincerely the in- j convenience it is causing. We realize it affects many people because the telephone is o closely allied with the business and social life of the community. Union Demands Would Increase Pay Rolls 70 We have bargained in good faith with the unions but the demands are so excessive exces-sive that we do not feel it is iair to telephone users or those who have risked their savings in the business to acceed. The frequently quoted "$12 a week increase" actually actu-ally becomes more than twice that when woven into the national pattern, plus some local additions. It would place telephone workers far above community wage levels and necessitate a substantial increase in telephone rates. Offer to Arbitrate Still Stands We believe that telephone wages compare favorably with others in this area for similar skills and training. Before the strike began we proposed that wage issues be arbitrated by a group of impartial citizens of this area. That offer is still open as is the offer to extend the present contracts covering wages and working conditions. We appreciate your continued friendly cooperation and we will make every effort that is fair to everyone to get normal service restored. ITfiae r.3ounimila5im SHattoc ireHepIhioime s - |