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Show v. A , v. F R OVQ (UTAH) U KDAY. HE BALI), SUN D A Y, APRIL' 12, 1 9 31. SECTION TWO OUT OUR WAY BY WILLIAMS X Tike Herald J'Ma: ' -V. ???? ScrTppi-Onfkld A SCRIPPS-OANFIELD NEWSPAPER ; Every Afternoon, except Saturday, and Sunday Morning - published by the Herald Corporation, N. Gunnar Rasmuson, president, in the Herald Building, 50 South; irst WestStreet,, Provo, Utah. Entered as second-class '. matter at the poatofflce iff Provo, -Utah under the ;act :of ;arch 3, 1878. : Gilhian, Nlcoll & Ruthmaa, National Advertising Representatives San Francisco office, i507 Montgomery . street; Chicago office, 410" North Michigan avenue; . frew- York -office, 19 West Forty-fourth street; . Boston office, J8 Tremont ' -fittest; IJetrojt, XkUcnigan oii ice, a Jifw rusner iuiung, ? - , . . r : I-:.-; - ' ' 1 - - . ...... . - - . Subscripttoh terms by carrier in Utah county, 60 cents the month; $2.75 for six months, In advance; $&00' the1 year la advance; by mail, in the county, $4.60; outside 1 Utah county, $5.00. ' R. W. GOODELL: KJitor and Manager. ' "; ; : J. A. OWENS. Advertising Manager " THE'TRCTH QUICK 1 Neither this newspaper, nor any of its stockholders or .Officials has any connection whatever, ydirectry or indirectly, with any political party, public "".utility; real estate promotion or other private business except the publication of newspapers devoted solely to disinterested publio service. ' Proclaim liberty V. throughout the land ' He Would Not Starve Daniel Willard, president of the Baltimore & Ohio railroad, rail-road, says : ; "I can think of nothing more deplorable than the con- dition or a man aoie ana axi-viuus to wur., um unauiu w secure work. . . .While I do not like to say. so.. . I would "steal before I would starve." Coming" from an industrial leader, this frank statement is encouraging. X Men that face facts like thi instead of .uttering opti- IIlIOHi; piabll iiUCS J,II pull UllS yv Wi v utuuiy. ' little oyer a' year ago President Hoover predicted, that we fnwiroY frAtn t.h business sltitnTi "in sixtv davs:" I .w Of course that dn't Help. . There are those who say, 'We can end the. depression by notT'talking about it. As a matter of fact, it .has been generally admitted tnat the depression was under way ior three months before anyone was talking about it before the first stock crash. . . ! '' Daniel AVillard does, not underestimate the evil of . unemployment unem-ployment :. His mind, should be open to suggested remedies. reme-dies. He sympathizes with the unemployed man and hence Will not waste time figuring outmeans of punishing him for stealing instead of planning means to relieve his desperation. des-peration. " ' ? - . The United States has had enough of wordy optimism. It needs more . industrial leaders who will face facts. Facing the facts, they will see the necessityof-real action. What Is Perfect? Ignace Paderewski is considered the world's greatest living pianist, even jthe greatest the world has ever had. Is he satisfied to rest and bask in this recognition? Far from it. While on concert tours, -this 70-year-old musician practices between four and five hours a day. His example should demonstrate to the world how few institutions or things ' of any kind are perfect, how much practice; and effort are yet needed to approach that perfection. - One of our greatest troubles is that eyery time business starts to get better it suffers a relapse! LEAPING OUT OF BED By Hill Billy Howdy, folks! The United States submarine V-6 reached a depth of S36 feet recently, but failed to sight any of the Wall Street stocks that sank In the great storm of October, 1929. . Mahatma Gandhi Is planning to visit the United States this sum mer. Mr. Gandhi is no relation to the senior member of the firm of Amos 'n' Gandhi. . - .MEN WHO DO THINGS . All over this intelligent, pepful land there are mature citizens' leaping leap-ing out of bed at the first alarm of the clock, rushing toHurn on the racUo, hurrying: to go thnt their exercises,, clawing into the bathroom. scowlng a swift 3have, dodging ' under the shower end, inflicting themselves with a cold bath, ,Npw that-is noiy to start out a dey. You are not gathering energy for the day. You are throwing throw-ing it awa$ Watch a cat wake up some time. A cat knows tho art of luxurious .living. Pollyana will," wake up beside mo in the morning and she will stretch out her pawa and flex her claws. She will yawn, and extend, and relax every muscle in hr body. She will arise. and arch. her back and pull hard on the- covers, with her unsheathed claws. Then Polly will sit in the open window, languidly taking note of the new mole mounds in the yard, watch for the first, sign of earth movement and in a flash hop down and catch, a fat mole, leap up to the sill, park the prey on my chest, and complete her toUet. HILL BTIXY " After which, Pollyana will start to yowl for her morning. canned milk. That isthe way., to '-start" the day. Relax; stretch, yawn, think over the day's program,'. figure things out, arise with leisure. If there is wood to be splittoefore you hoil your Java, all right, split it with a calm detachment. It is all right to paddle out in your bare, feet -to the woodshed over the -dewy, chill ras3.'and lug In a slck. A bit of exercise before -breakfast : is dandy,1 but don't rush at it. .. Get ihe old engine warmed up. - rontthrow-a-lot of mw -g as Into your , cylinders - and expect to climb the morning: hill on high with a, cold motor and a choked carburetor. .,' v ' -t. .. . .-. .- Of course, in time of necessity, you should be, able to wake up and get going in a. srutveeconcU You can throw a cat out of a window, and it ".wiU start' sound ; asleep and light, on its feet' and start running in high gear. But. a cat doesn't sdo. that as a matter of routine and it doesn't like ta, begin the day Jn that sudden manner. , . ;::.:?,yv:.:''4W";;11 aaain')iiiMitnn,.jiinrmim" wntys WHO IN MUSIC 1 "pi 4- THE TALKING SCREEN Our Washington, Bureau has ready for you a completely revised, up-to-the xminute directory of all the principal picture, stars, male and female, alphabetically alpha-betically arranged for ready reference. The directory gives place and date of birth, marriages and divorces, brief personal description and address of each. All picture fans: will find this directory useful. Pill put the coupon below and send for it: i . CUP COUPON HERE Dept .123, Washington Bureau, . Provo Evening Herald . 4222, New York Avenue, Washington, D. C . : 7 I want a copy of the bulletin DIRECTORY OF MOTION PICTURE STARS, and enclose herewith five cents in coin. or loose, uncancelled, U. S. postage stamps to cover return- postage and handling costs: . . - --;r . ' ' .' NAME ST. & NO A t s CITY STATE X am a reader f the Dairy Provo Evening Herald, CUP,; COUPON i HERE .He . A BiGr ORDJ OSS tAST SIX MOvfTHS , AT LEAST" AAlrAAkT DO SOU tUivivC of that ja GOOD AM ORQtf? 0 A WAUF www - y" 9 A Ctt 1 OLD AM GRAM, J HTS HM FOR I , . r- r-r-tr I GOOO.' WHVt HE EVER VAOUCl0 BOO 1M IfA' SHOP FOR A RAISE. -Tvwe. TS FROM V-OSwa'. AM; GfTfiM OROtMAPW POPV--. f x i i iwa.tt..piw.em POVfe.R'' FACET. B mi SV WtA StWVtCC IWCj 7 LSsidiibii Q. How can one tell the age and sex of a turtle? A. There is no sure way to determine deter-mine the age of a hard shellturtle. The scale expands as the turtle j grows, leaving rings of growth which can be seen under a micro- scope and are like those of a tree. The national museum says that until fully grown it is usually impossible im-possible to determine the sex of turtles from their external appearance. appear-ance. Each specimen has its own sexual characteristics as a rule. I Q. How many netrro Roman i Catholic churches are in the : United States? j A. Those with resident pastors' ; number 137 and 64 churches are at- tended as missions. These are ex- j clusively for negrors In practically prac-tically every section of th ooun- try, however, many negro Catholics i attend the churches whose con- j gregations are predominantly j white. Q. How many human births .and i deaths are there daily in the world? , A. The estimate of Prof. E. M.j East of Harvard university is 150.-. 000 births and 100,000 deaths. Q. When were nickel fivecent pieces first coined in the United States? A. In 1866. s ,i Q. Which controls the navigable waters in the United States, thfl states or the federal government? A. Navigable waters are under the control, of the feocral government, govern-ment, i Q. What waa the date of Lawrence Law-rence Tibbett's recent appearance on the At water Kent radio broadcast? broad-cast? A December 28, 1930. Q. WhT did the siege of Quebec under Wolfe occur? A Jnly-Septembor, 1759. Who tire the United States senators from Tennessee? A. Kenneth McKollar' and Cor-dell Cor-dell Hull. Unemployed men will be prevent- t-a rrom selling applet on ew ofk streets soon. Authorities say thh business has become a '"racket." -9r- Thls Is Egbert W. Oloop, soda fountain clerk, who today announced an-nounced the crowning achievement of hh carnr Cie creation of a new and dainty dain-ty lee cream sundae. T h T sundae lit made of c 1 a m - fla vored Icecream, covered with a shrimp and oyster oys-ter ' sauce, and surrounded with gay rosettes of kelp ajid seaweed. Our congratulations, Egbertl ; , -.photo by Ralph Jones. .A Denver man sneezed while plying a mouth orga'r., and swallowed swal-lowed it. He oughtto be thankful he wasn't playing the piano! -, - ..EriTATH . Erastus Brown's Gone to heaven v Ills dice could roll ; , . Naught but seven! Li'l Gee Gee, th . office vamp, says there is Just one" thing worse than letting a fool lss you let-''t&ig let-''t&ig a kiss fool you. .v: v-. .' -- - - '' " " ' ' , X KLSIE FAStafTO famous prima donna, who. Is said to have the most , per fee sense of tone In ' the worlds Miss Falsetto's' Fal-setto's' ear for music Is so a c n t e that when she plays tennis, she cannot can-not abide a rac quet tha goes twang'-- Vfhn lfc hits the ban She must ' have a racquet that iroe fptngV iK -r-Photo by 'Roy Servoss. r . '. ' Almost every day now the newspapers news-papers print an item about some card player being dealt a perfect bridge hand. This means that (1) , many per fect 'bridge nands "are being dealt, or (2) that many bridge players are awful' liars. ' sje. ' :."' ' FABAiiox . 'The national wealth Increases, 'Financial experts, say, And yet the mass of people . Grows poorer day by day. Many a man who will spend hours over a hot stove boiling up a mixture of malt and hops would yell like a wildcat If his wife asked him to heat the baby's milk bottle for a. few minutes. .'-..'. YE DIARY . (April. 10) Betimes home, mighty hungrle, and ask Dame Provocation what she hath prepared for dinner, and she doth reply: "Beef broth, pounded pound-ed steak, creamed potatoes, a dainty dain-ty dish of brocoli a la Mllannaise and . Bat of a sudden I do yell, A - pox : on your fongn-soundlng f oode; It deceives me nofc Brocoli be naught but splnch! ' Away with It! YA-A-A-A-A, SMAKTUEl" And so high words between us. 4 - ' At the next Olympic Games there win 'be a special competition, for pdetsJ' Any versifier who rhymes "moon" and "June" v or "love", and "dove" should be disqualified at the start. '' . '; -"-'. t Write when you get a job. Gus. '...- ART SltANNOIr. THE OBSERVER ' - " - " It was not until today that we learned you could go to the devil In six hours from 8 p. ni. to midnight trbut we have the whole schedule sched-ule sent Jn by a reader in the form of one of the; interesting old tracts that used to be peddled around before we got into the bright sunshine of prohibition and air booze was banished and oducatioh became unnecessary having been supplanted by six-guns six-guns and . clubswhich are so much mere efficient- as every sin-buster sin-buster knows But anyway this tract Is in the form cf a railroad schedule for the "Dark Valley railroad" which runs from Cigaretville to Perdition and maybe you Jl be Interested In the time-table and how, tik you cangb'- to''PerfiUbn'yota really mcke up your mind to it tr it seems you start "Out; at ' 0 p. ro. at Cigaretville- end at 7:20- after a few clgarets you 'arrive at "Mild Drink Station"-where V2U 1 make -a 30-minute stop; ' vj 1 '"'' .f' '. "'. . " ' Heaving heiypti qme to Moderation Mod-eration Falls at 8:20 "and leave at 8 40 after a few beers , --arriring at Tipplersvllle at 9:05 end at Topersvllle at 10 1 1 staying ) I minutes and i leaving for Bummers' Bum-mers' Roost where "yu arrive 'at you take a 35-minute nap here and hit: Hungry ' Hollow Booze Town Gambler's Den and Drunkard's Drunk-ard's Curve landing up in Quarrelsburg and going on from there to Delir-iumville Delir-iumville Well the rest of the trip is made with stops at Slough of Despair-Lusty Despair-Lusty Gulch Rattlesnake Swamp and Devil's Gap youregettlngs near4 the end of the line now and you slide thru Dark ' Valley and - Prisonersburg to Perditlon-amving at midnight "Tickets for sale by all liquor dealers" eay3 the tract-but tio return tickets Issued : ., ,ni . . - -- ' r . - - -. i : . it is a very moving tract and it gave us the shivers ... The Dark Valley railroad the tract said was mainly for "the wealthy idler the laboring man and. the unsuspecting youth" and when we read this we cheered up a lot because we are none of those things but only an aging newspaper news-paper man with senility coming on, well maybe we ought to honor hon-or the old tract because perhaps it did some good in its day AND, LISTEN: Maybe if we hade more education about booze these days and less shrieking about laws and fewer volunteer cossacks running around regulating -OUr lives we'd have less drunkenness drunken-ness than we have and be really 'getting along toward sobriety. 1 This West of Oursl j(c Z It was not uncommon in the gold rush days of California for miners .far up in the hills to pay as high a? $10 for the delivery of a -single letter. Carriers took big bags of mail on their backs or by dog sled into the mining camps that were located on the mountain sides. One of .the most notable deliveries deliv-eries made during the early west ern days was that undertaken by Jerry Green, a niail carrier. Green packed 0 pounds tf letters from Nevada Cij,y to camps on the high divide. The entire trip was made on foot, and the trail passed thru some of the most dangerous Indian country in the new territory. An Omaha physician has developed devel-oped a wingless breed of chickens. The Canary islands were not named after birds, but after the Latin word, "canie," meaning dog. A (ScsEKglkocS- ITU held the money that Grandfather "put by" for a rainy day. Its safety was assured beause no one else knew about it. Today a permanent reserve of $156,000.00 safeguards the assets of Federal Building and Loan Association's Associa-tion's 4000 certificate holders. This reserve, three times as great as the law requires, gives you greater safety than Grandfather ever knew. $5.00 deposited every month maturss $1,000.00 If BID IS BUILDING & LOAN ASSOCIATION 236 West Center Street Provo, Utah TO DAY 8. I JAILBREA1CER CAUGHT LAS VEGAS, April ,10. L George Ross, Salt Lake jail break er. found the lure of Nevada's newly new-ly established gambling casinos too great to resist, with the result that he waa again in jail today. Ross, who ;flrst gave his name as BUI was arrested in a gambling' place Wednesday night by police (Continued From Page One), Deimling. declared that Germany no longer needs a great army, because be-cause flying "machines, explosives and poison gas will "alone ' be important im-portant lnthe next war. In the next war, says he, the fighters will attack' entire . populations with poison gas, "against attack from the air there can be no real de fense and no protection at least for the masses, of the population.. The general assures ' you that upon the completion of the first mobilization the warring powers wiU overwhelm oae another with their air fleets , s Somebody ught td tell all that to our army' and , navy which still look upon airships as a not too im portant "auxiliary." They remind you of the English king who said powder ' and bullets . would never amount to much, and offered special spe-cial prizes' to yeomen growing trees suitable for": making bows and arrows,' ar-rows,' upon which, said he, "England "Eng-land must always rely." TC7HAT ,is . your answer to this ' yy Question raised by. the Philadelphia Phila-delphia -Etude"?;" . . "If you had only .24 hours to live; and could. hear 'just one . piece of music, .which would you select?: : Billy Suuday would like to hear The Sweet Bye and Bye," Former Governor Alfred " E. Smith would prefer Holy Lord, We Praise Thy Narn".,;, vi- - The Rev. Henry Van Dyke wants a' regular" coneert v Bethoven's "Ilerolca." also ' . "Lead : .Kindly Light," rAblde Wtla He" and Han- (S and A nnounce That theyihave been appointed exclusive distributors for the rpflSim For Pro vo, Utah ' ' Hill I i W Willi 1111 WHWWW II. .1 - .... ...... .......... .. VjT fTaTV H I" r - .-... y jika a .. t. "fk. Wk Kaw VV"V.VAVAVV'vSt L.fawsa WAjL Vrass V.VVA'"VVVAV-VVi.. sw awfcaL Wsawss f k ia sv " AkWsk Ik C V. S ' 1 . a aa"-. FF f , a fi4tHt.iiA..ti1lS)jL 20 ' -" " a S 1S a - k. . Aa iMiiitK atti.7Wklk. KV,,. .-aa...taa..a.a. . tit- n a . . aaaaa !( a iiiiidttt) ttitMt.MiiMiii ,,, i i n " a.v " .v.v.v a. aTnrwsw .1 1 1 v. .. V ' aaaaaaa. 'a aaaa a . aaaa.a.a.aa.aaaaa aaa . , a . a a a .a a . aaaaa a a i a a a a a a a a aaa it a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a m a a a..-.a.aaaa V U """" aa.a.aa..aaaaa aaaatti.airViaMi I""' 'JHt aaaaaataaiiataiataiaaiaailatMaataiiia(iataaaiaiaiaiia.taaia a a ". JTt aa a. aaaaa. a-aaa. a. .a.a..aaa..iy, ... A..,VV.t ' 7t 'Ml f taaliilaa.t'a.aittaaaiaaaii t.i.U.t.at ataaataa t.aia Aata.m a a, a i aaiMa,atalattaaiiiliiMMiiiiilii(tii a a a a a a a a am a . ' iiiiaiM "MHIMMiMiii Va aaiaVa a a a MiiMiiMaiiiaaiiiMiilai"liaai""iiiiiiiatl,i ataatti aVita jk . 'J0T i Jiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaataxaiiiliiat.aa Mliaaiatf ana taVia'aaaataia A - k 'aaaaaaitaaita.a "V',,'a,"iai"aJiaai-iaataitVaMA W Sir.aiaaaaiaiiiaattaaaaaaaaa4Mailataiiaaa.aalalaaitaaafaiaaiatV.a.aa.u w Siiailiaittiiaaitaiatiaatatiatiia,(taaaaiatli4 hYi a a a a aV a I ata JV AW a aa a . aaaaaa.aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa lataaiaaaaaaiaia t..Vaa akV.Vaaa.Va.V.a a aaaaaaaaaaaaataaaaaaaaaaaa a a laaa a a m a a a ara a aiV "a TaV VV. -Tmem9m9mmm v aaaa.a. laaaataaat ,Ta fa "a "a m a a Ti m 7m m " T.. .and have just received a complete new stock of these high grrade tires and tubes which will be sold at competitors' com-petitors' prices. SEIBERLING builds a first grade standard lire in both four and six ply that sells at exactly mail order prices. 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