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Show 31 If s , w PRO VO (UTAH) EVENING HER ALD MOKDA Y, JAN U A R Y 3D, 19 33 Scrip??- j,C -;uc j The Herald Every Afternoon, except Saturday and Sunday Morning Published by th e Herald Co rporation, 50 South First Wesi Street, Provo, Utah. Entered ;is second-class matter at the postoffice in Provo, Utah, under the act of Mtirch 3, 1879. Gilman, Nicoll & Ruthman, 1 National Advertising representatives, New York, San Franc isoo, Detroit, Boston, Los Angeles, Seattle, Chicago. Member United Press, N. E. A. Service, Western Features and the Scripps League of Newspapers. "Proclaim llheriv Subscription terms --by carrier in Utah county 50 cents the month; $2.75 for six mohth in .advance; $5.00 the year in advance; by mail, in the fcounty, $4.50; outside Utah county, $5.00. J. A. Owens, Business Manager. E. R. Rasmuson, Managing Editor. throughout the i land" The r liberty Bell In This Hour of Darkness LET us mono; THOMAS PAINE 7i 7 y Aram These Are Times That Try Men's Souls, But We Shall Conquer Them One hundred and sixty-eight years aero there came to America a man, unknown except for letters which he brought from Benjamin Franklin, then in Paris. Within six months this man, Thomas Paine, had become be-come "the trumpet of the American revolution." He had never written before. "The Cause of America," he said later, "made me an author." Of his pamphlet, "Common Sense," published in January, Jan-uary, 1776, half a million copies were sold. His stirring words roused the spirit of freedom and revolt against British tyranny. Within six months America Amer-ica declared independence of Great Britain. All during the revolution Paine continued to exhort the people of the colonies to stand fast, through his pamphlets, pamph-lets, "The American Crisis." Just before the battle of Trenton, at Christmas time, 1776, when-Washington's army was broken and depressed, the first number of The American Crisis" was read to the soldiers. It began with the famous words : "These are they time that try men's souls. The summer sum-mer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country ; but he that stands it now deserves the love and thanks of man and woman." We honor Washington, and Franklin, and Lincoln, as patriots who helped to make thfs nation what it is. Likewise we should honor Thomas Paine, whose birthday birth-day was yesterday, and seek to emulate the steadfastness of his courage in a crisis as great as that through which America is passing today. - THIS CURIOUS WORLD - A BALLOON THAT IS FILLED WITH HVDrtOGEN DESCENDS when RELEASED FROV THE TOP OF MOUNT WASHINGTON, IN NEW HAMPSHIRE 0 ( 1 1 mr ENGLAND'-? GREAT ADMIRAL AND THE HERO CP THE BATTLE OF TRAFALGAR., DISLIKED SHORE LEAVE BECAUSE HE BECAME SEA SiCK WHENEVER. HE RETURNED TO MIS' .SHIP. i33 mr mla mmvicc me. THE ATLANTIC OCEAN CARRIES 75 PER CENT OF THE WORU.D1T COMMERCE, YET IT IS OMV ONE-HALF ONE-HALF AS LARGE 'AS THE PACIFIC t-lf Howdy, folks! A flight to Mars Is quite possible, says Prof. Pic-card, Pic-card, the big- balloon and stratosphere strato-sphere man. But, he adds, there would not be any way of getting back. How about sending congress to Mars? H If we were quite sure there really WAS no way of getting back, we'd go ourself. It's hardly possible there would be TWO stars In the universe so nutty as to let millions go hungry in the midst of plenty. I Wonder how much you'd j I have to tip the porter when I the conductor called: "Mars next stop! All out!" i . An English college teaches girls poise by making them stand on one oot on a pedestal while juggling three balls and balancing a plate ot oranges on ttheir heads. Now we know where our waitress went to bChooL New York auto show featured fea-tured a revolving chassis. The average motorist can get the same effect by putting on the brakes suddenly while rounding round-ing a slippery curve. I It'll be all right with us if i no nation gets the idea of I starting a war to save the world for technocracy. i . - v The senate is said to be planning plan-ning a gag for filibustering senators. sen-ators. We wish the senate would get busy and plan a new gag we Could use in this column. Psychologists says more musk would help to alleviate the depres pression. Ha! A Back-to-the-Band novement. MENTAL GIANT j This is Avoirdupois Avoir-dupois G. Math, who is in a padded cell recuperating re-cuperating after aft-er having worked work-ed out his income in-come ta x to four places of uicnuais. mr. iviath's figures show that the government owes him $1.87876, and he is now thinking of ways and means to get it. He is in line for a job as a technocrat. v OUT OUR WAY BY WILLIAMS VStVA AT ? WOO RE j -r. -TTKiGr VH. TTAAT BECAUSE I . f 'Zi: tHERtS A HAT IT AtNlY V '1 lM "E CHAR NINE. J , &w-WriwS ooNi-r woo v j :f ' !ii lTT11Ji Purt-r OKA X, f y ' ySBSLl r- table. J yY - r " vT.P?.Wi-VlAM3 eLjJ. WWAW MOTORS CSV GiPAV. i-3c Sitting Atop the World With Jim Marshall Chinese City 1 1 YE DIARY This day to the hospital to see an ailing friend, and he there in blue bathrobe and easy slippers and reading, and I could scarce see him for these newfangled lamps and lights and bottles and the weird apparatus the chirurgeons use in their mystery these dark days. So I to envying my friend his lack of duties, but he sad that he must perforce remain In idleness. idle-ness. And so I away In my chaise, pondering upon human nature, which never is satisfied. So passed this daye. Books, perfumes and garden tools, third aisle on the left. ART SHANNON. TIME GUESSES WWAT 15 THE SOUTHERN MOST POINT OF CANADA? 4kuA -'-1 Ji : -3r is lapgcc-m0ntceal lapgcc-m0ntceal or Mexico City 9 Where does he reside? One thing aboute these times: -There aren't as many "weeks" as there used to be and in fact whole months go by without National Na-tional Sauerkraut week or International Inter-national Barnacle-Scraping week getting you all hot and bothered there are weeks now when you don't have to buy spinach or engage en-gage in backslapping during National Na-tional Good-Cheer week and so always willing to fill any long-felt wants this department depart-ment proudly announces National Apathy week The way things are everybody every-body in America,n is supposed to worry about eveiyaouy else or be intensely interested in technocracy technoc-racy or inflation or foreign trade all this does no good whatever congress for years has been worrying about the farmer am the farmer has been worrying about congress -- with the result they are both in the worst shape ever recorded in history but National Apathy week will fix all that During this week it will be the duty of every true American citizen citi-zen to be utterly apathetic about everything congress will let the farmer go to heck and the farmer w. yawn about congress instead of cursing it any announcement that the country is bankrupt and headed straight for perdition will be greeted by immense , nonchalance and a chorus of "Ho! Hum!" During this week - if your brok er calls you up and says General Bloaters is down eht points and wants $1500 more margin"- . . or if your wife phones you the house is on fire . . . or if the outfit .you work for goes into receiversrhip ... or if your bank busts . . . or if your child announces his intention to be a newspaperman newspaper-man . . . you will simply yawn and muiaiur "Well, wnat of it?" All over the country people will just simply ignore trouble - and ' if any great national emergency j comes along it will just have to do its own emerging j nobody will pay any attention whatever to any "great problems" which will have to do their own headaching AND, LISTEN: What this countiy needs is not more worrying worry-ing or more fixing or more thinking about but just a whole :oad of general apathy applied foi a week straight. HOHIZOXTAD 1 Artieles of merchandise. 5 Prisons. 13 Golf c lub. 14 Sloth. 15 Market. 16 Masculine pronoun. 17 Form of no. IS Finishes. 20 Fence door. 22 Northwest. 23 Assists over obstacles. 25 Person affected af-fected with leprosy. 27 Completed. 2S Oklahoma a large producer of ? 30 To free. 31 Aches. 33 Coarse cotton. 34 Public auto. 30 Gaelic. 37 Coagulated. 35 Liiuture. 3!) To sectir 40 Insects which eat wool. 41 Small shield. 42 Born. Answer to Previous Puzzle MIAIRIL AIR JA TOLL) eTIwieTr CpjMiE T A Dp RE DpNQB GROSS M AIM T IE WE fj L. L J EiR G I o.riaL EjJropHqE biair BU5SLJRAG E PLjSJAKE i DEL3DE P UT EjSpR AT TE AjP OTljDPiOIqiDiL E PjAjLlM "TROTiA S1 MBpS AfeUE NQOSQ MANE mmi isBafla. .BBSS 14 Lion. 4 5 Sundry. 45 Animal similar to a raccoon. IS Arm covering. 50 Portugal (abbr. ). 51 To eat spa ringly. 53 One of a pair. 54 Hurrah. 55 Either. 57 Street car. 59 Southeast. 60 Large room. 01 Instrument for measuring specific gravity. 2 Half (prefix). VERTICAL 1 Capital of Manitoba, Canada. 2 In line. 3 To decay. 4 Half an cm. 5 Light boat. 6 Helps.- 7 Form of be. 8 Sack. 9 Verbal. 10 Fish-eating mammal. 11 Exclamation. 12 Catch in a gun lock. IS Ages. 19 Largest cfty in Sweden. 21 Growing of one part around another. 23 Os. 24 Male ancestors. 26 That which is educed. 27 To swell. 29 Cover. 32 Center of an amphitheater. 33 Surfeits. 35 Treaty port in China. 37 Mountain pass 3S Smooth. 41 To lay a street. 43 Redac ts. 45 Rhythm. 46 To drudge. 47 Pertaining to air. 49 Comfort. 50 Part of hand. 52 Beret. 54 To regret. 56 Second note. 55 Myself. 60 Like.' K 1 la p 14 I 15 (b 7 16 9 IO 2 ra c Ssa So ' !lZLl!ir: 42 5 TO : SSsL Sfc sSxs 55l 5lT Sfo 5 5D " GO : 7 MMH MMMMV hh, mmm m mmmm, WE GET BALANCED By Hill Billy (Hill Billy's views in his daily stories are his own. They do not necessarily coincide with those of this newspaper. EDITOR). I, even in these secluded hills, am hearing a lot about how city, county, state and nation are going to balance the budget. All that is very mysterious to me. I do not know what might be all about, but I do know that these smart fellows are going to balance me nicely the ensuing twelvemonth. I am just another small sucker who has managed to hang onto what is blithely termed a paycheck. Last year my paycheck was off some 20 per cent, but on that amount I will pay- Uncle Sam in income tax more than 10 times what I paid him for my '31 income. On top of this our good and great Uncle Samuel has shoved a sales tax over that is averaging some four bits a day' the last time I checked up on the family purchases- query, does Uncle allow me exemption for the sales tax? In the interim the blight city and county and state fellows have fingered and figgered and they have jacked up my income and propel ty taxes plenty, and the insurance and mortgage companies com-panies see to it that I pay said taxes. A merry little game of ring around the rosy, with the big boys holding hands with assessors and sheriffs and town treasurers to make a sucker out of the little fellow dumb enough to be caught with a family, a few wild acres and a town home. Whether the lads will balance their budgets or All I can sav at this time is that I am putting an other patch on my overalls and the boys are surely oing to balance me on the thin edge of economic desperation. Just why can't all these heavy-handed and tuff-heaited taxgrabbers take something gesides naoney for their bills? When I was a lad farmers worked out road taxes with team one day a year, nobody paid any interest on bonds, nobody supported patented pavement lobbyists. And when the day's work was done that road was not an obligation on the farmers" children; it was all paid for; wipe down the sweated team, throw in a feed of oats, and unbuckle your belt beside the wife's cooking. "Oh. but those were not roads for fast, heavy auto traffic." I can get oilong nicely without any million-dollar-an-inch super-pavement; if the heavy auto traffic cannot, that's tuff for the trucks and buses. It might be significant that all over the country town councils art-replacing art-replacing hitching posts around the town square. It might be that we dumbs are not so much wedded to speed as the big boys imagined. radii Mi& i.-wf A. HILL BILLY not I know not. 5- EASY-CHAIR ECONOMICS Making It Simple Understand 19:J2's Many Puzzles. To the gold content so that the British pound will be worth $4.S6. Would this be only a benefit to England? No; it would be of an immediate benefit to the United States. The first day it will benefit bene-fit every producer of ctton and wheat. It will increase the pi ice of every bushel of wheat and every bale of cotton. Before England went off the gold standard the British pound was j worth $4.86 of gold dollars on the basis of 22.25 grains per gold dol-. lar. Today the pound is worth 3.39 of j husband nd father, C. W. Brunner. gold dollars on the basis of 22.23 I We desire to express our sincere grains per dollar. The pound has ' gratitude to the speakers and sing- CAItD OF TILVNKS We wish to thank all those who in any way assisted us during the illness and death of our beloved e s to those who furnished cars and sent the beautiful flowr5. MRS. C. W. BRUNNER AND FAA11L.I. depreciated in value $1.56 or a 32 per cent depreciation. If we were to reduce the gold content cf the gold dollar to 15 grains, the British pound would again be worth approximately $4.86, but it would be of American gold dollars of 15 grains per dollar. Theie is no way Great Britain can bring the British pound back up to the value of the American j a sign of bowel poisons, that breed gold dollar of 22.23 grains so that 1 germs. Get rid of them with Adler-the Adler-the British pound would be worth j ika. Acts on both upper and lower $4.86. We can bring the value of bowels without discomfort. Sold in the gold dollar down by reducing Provo by Hedquist Drug Co. Adv. SLEEPY AFTER MEALS? WATCH FOR POISONS A dopey, tired feeling is usually A (Answers on Page Four) i! W- AT THE FIRST SNgEZE USE 3Al night m yfttrtttN. -V PUT Essence of MIstfcl ON YOUR HANDKERCHIEF AND PILLOW. 9 iwm iww ATTENTION! Owing to the fact that we don't all wear the same grade of shoes, they are not worth the same grade of shoe repairing, re-pairing, therefore, in fairness to you and your shoes, we have adopted the following Three Grande Plan which makes every pair of shoes worth repairing, regardless of original cost. YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR Men's Half Soles First Grade Second Grade $1.25 $1.00 Third Grade 75c Women's Half Soles $1.00 75c 50c Women's Heels 25c and 35c Men's v Heels S5c and 50c LOUIS KELSCH at THE BOOTERIE San Franciscos Newest AND MOST MODERN Downtown Hotel! 6O0 OuUide Roomn 223 rooms at 3 .50 179 rooms at $4.00 198 rooms at $4.50 and up Unusually Attractive Kates to Permanent Cuesta! 1111 ' m P 5ffiKi' 71 ll' : Mm rnrn ... . Pliisi Hotel Sir Francis Drake just off Union Square most convenient conven-ient to theaters, shops, stores, business and financial district. Only California hotel offering Servidor feature thus enabling you to combine "maximum privacy pri-vacy with minimum tipping". All rooms in the Tower with Western exposure have ultraviolet-ray (sun-bath) windows. In every room connection for radio reception, running filtered ice water, both tub and shower. Dinner in Coffee Shop from 75p up in Main Dining Room from $1.25 up. Also a la carte service. Private garage in base-jnent base-jnent of hotel building with direct elevator service ser-vice to lobby and all guest-room floors! rBPrf Motel i Francis v Hocuft Newcojw Hotkl Co. a Powell Street at Sutter San Francisco ' - I i I. ' ;..-.".:.' -:...-.-:,... ..'.-.-.".o. -s.--'.vV. . 4f luqA not vszntb thi cotl World's Finest Washer, reduced $26.00 1h Many have found that buying a cheap washer was a costly lesson that their money was squandered instead of invested. The Maytag is not a cheap washer. Nor is it expensive. Its value based on cost of washings makes it the most economical washer to buy. For it offers the lowest cost per washing of any washer. The extra quality in a Maytag is extra value for every dollar you invest practical prac-tical value in better washing, lower cost washing, longer life of clothes and more years of serv ice from the washer. Don't buy a washer till you've seen the Maytag. Pbone for a Maytag free home demonstration. THE MAYTAG COMPANY Manufacturer NEWTON Founded 1893 IOTA 50-1-33-W Now only $89.50 24 North Second West Provo, Utah Phone 86 ANY MAYTAG MAY BE HAD EQUIPPED WITH GASOLINE MULTWMOTOX |