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Show PAGE TWO PR OVO (U T A H) E V ENING HERALD, TUE S D AY, JANUARY 5, 19 3 2 OUT OUR WAY BY WILLIAMS V THE OBSERVER By-.HM By-.HM MARSHALL HeMld Scnppi-Cenfitld "Proclaim liberty 'throughout t&e land" fiobacrtptlom terms by carrier In Utah county, 50 cents the month; $2.75 for six months in advance; .$&00 the year in advance; by mail, in . the county, H0; outside Utah county, $5.00. IV W. GOODELL, Editor and Manager. J. A. OWENS, Advertising Manager f THE VBUTII QUICK llelther this newspaper1, nor any of its stockholders or officials has any connection whatever, directly o Indirectly, with' any political party, public utility, real estate promotion or other private . business except the publication of newspapers devoted solely to disinterested public service. Okqyihg Back-Seat Driving If the driver of the car in which you're riding is reckless, reck-less, and you don't warn him, aha there's a wreck, and you're injured you cun't collect damages. That's the strange new doctrine laid down by the Idaho -supreme court. In effect, it says that everyone riding in a r car ia a sort of supplementary driver, guilty of contributory negligence in case, of accident. Carried out to a logical conclusionthe-thing becomes idiotic. x -1 r" , , You are riding on a train. The engineer, making up lost time, rolls 'em along at 70. You are trying to sleep. By and by the train leaves the track; you are injured. According to the Idaho court you couldn't collect because you cUdn?t send a message by the conductor, to the engineer, to slow down a bit. 4 Same thing would apply to an airplane. Try back-seat-driving one next time you're up and see how much good it does you. . r- . Courts nowadays produce a lot of weird ideas; this is ' one of the weirdest we ever Heard of. Who Got th Other 84 Per Cent? This actually happened a few days ago: A farmer sold a 200-pound pig for $8.36 to jyracking company. V - . A dayjater he went to a retail market and. said he wanted want-ed to stock up on pork. He asked how much pork he could buy for $8.36. : v The butcher figured a while and then said: "About 32 pounds, Mister." Now the farmer is trying to puzzle out how a 200-pound V pig lost 168 pounds getting from packer to consumer. And who got the 168 pounds. And why. And if consumers realize real-ize that the farmer got only 16 per sent of what they paid for pork. ... - OhaenmHnnji Scientist, says he can produce artificial earthquakes ; but whatHhe Democrats need is somebody who can produce an artificial landslide for them next November. A higher tariff on beef is steaks! ' Motorists are making traffic conditions better by gradually grad-ually reducing the number of pedestrians. Pet Peeves: Collapsible cups that collapse just as you are taking a drink. r ... - ' I This West of Ours ; A. lonf prospector, Ed Schieffelin gave! Tombstone, Ariz., its beginning begin-ning and its name. ' Certain that silver lay In -th3rfcnis - of the- territory, Schieffelin stayed and searched and searched altho . he had been warned; r", "All you'll ever find in them hills H be your tombstone.' Schieffelin found silver, lots of silver, and with a sense of the irony and humor of his discovery, decided to call ha mine Tombstone, i He -didn't know it, but with the ijaming of his . mine ; Schieffelin WHO'S YOUR FAVORITE? . Tastes differ in selecting leading women of the screen, but it is likely that our Washington Bureau has included in its latest bulletin POPULAR WOMEN OF THE SCREEN, giving interesting; Cacts about eighteen of the most popular screen stars several at least of those YOfr. would pick. Included are Tallulah Bank-head, Bank-head, Constance Bennett, Joan Blondell, Nancy Carroll, Car-roll, Ruth Chatterton, Joan Crawfj rd,- Marlene Piet-rich, Piet-rich, Marie Dressier, Kay Francis, Greta Garbo, Janet GaytJorvAnn ; Harding, Jean Harlcw, Elissa Landi, Dorothy- Mackaill, Peggy Shanaoii'; Norma Shearer and Sylvia Sydney. ' : . . V . You will want this bulletin giving intimate facts about all these Stars. Fill mail as directed: ; CLIP COUPON HERE i Dept 163, Washington Bureau,' Provo Evening Herald, 1822 New 'York Avenutf, Wathlngtion, D. C. 4; - .t : ' ...... f ; . " r. . .' .. . i .: : - ' . - . .i--V i ' . ! , . t I want a copy of the. tulletin POPULAR WOMEN OI -THE ' SCREEN, and enclose herewith' five cents in coin, or loose, uncancelled, '! S. postage stamps, to cover return postage - and - handling "costs : ' -NAME- i f STrNO enrc. ............ : j i . . i . . .v i . ...... ; .' I am a reader of j the; Provo' Evening Herald. A SCRIPPS-CANFIELD NEWSPAPER V Every Afternoon, except Saturday, and Sunday Morning Published by the Herald Corporation, N. Gunnar Rasmuson, president, in the Herald Building, 50 South First West Street, Provo, Utah. Entered as -second-class matter at the postofflce in Provo, Utah, under the act of March 3, 1878. Oilman, Nlooll & Ruthman, National Advertising Representatives San Franciscj office, 525 Market street. Room 523; Chicago office, 410 North Michigan avenue; New Yorit oince, 19 west uorty-rourtn street; Boston oliice, is Tremont street; Detroit, Michigan, office, 601 New Center Bldg. proposed. Ah, a play for high named the hills, a whole silver field, and. a towij, as yet unborn. Tattered . and .torn, ragged and unkempt, Schieffelin rode hundreds of mile into Signal to get his brother;, Al. x ' ' ' x ," Going down the street he met a familiar face, stuck out a gritzled hand. "Hello, AV he said. "Haven't seen you If or four years." "Don't (believe 1 know you," said the other! "Hardljr blame you," Ed replied. "I look lice the devil, but I happen to be yor brother." Air transport lines connect Chi- cago with 160 U. S. cities. out . the cchipon below and . . . ' ' STATE , . . . . . . . . . . , Howdy, folks! Ton can say one thing for the depression. It is bringing bring-ing families closer together. All the young married folks are returning home to live with Fa and Ma, After reading accounts of the Lenz - Culbertson bridge tournament tourna-ment we believe the players should foUow the Marquis of Queensber- ry's rules rather than Hoyle. . - 1 WHO'S WHO IN I HOLLYWOOD : Prof. Omar T. Codfish, elocution ist, has been hired at enormous ex pense to teacn movie stars to talk with what they consider a British accent. Prof. Codfish's a y stem . Is simp 1 e. He merely '-makes them 'hold 13 marbles in their mourns, noses. anu then talk thru their The great financial leaders of America . are men who never give up. When theyi predict better times, and nothing happens, they just predict some more. THE SMELL. OF THE . YUKON A bunch o the boys was whoopln' , It up In the malamute saloon, The kid who handles the radio Was a-rdialln' in a :une. They ast him to get 'em a jazzy song, I But he got 'em a radio crooner, ! So they riddled his carcasB full o' - lead And ,wisht. sooner! they'd a-rione it ' ABIGAIL, APPLESAUCE SEZ: "America has no upper class, .exrapt - th' dougii-biUty." dougii-biUty." The head of a family in New York rented an apartment of 40 rooms. He was detei mined, no doubt, to have anentire clothes-closet clothes-closet to himselidTTinow why. TREES . . -I: Much help I do not thlnlt 111 be At dragging out the Christmas tree. The needles . now are dry and strange, I think the tree has got the mange! And tho it should be thrown away, I put It off from day to day. Poems are made by fools like mo But WIFTE must remove the tree! . ' --SK t- v Scientist says that radio waves travel only 200,000 f miles a second and are slower than light waves. Suggestion to the Olympic Games committee: Why not stage a race between' a radio wave and a beam of light? " 5: t: HOMER BREW'S DIARY (Januarie 4 Up betimes, and to loafing about the house, smoking a black clgarro, reading the pubUck prints and, ever and anon; teasing the children. So passed i a pleasant houre or two, until Dame J Brew 'demanding that I do shake some rugs, I do yell, "Great, Hewlngs, woman, can't you see I am in a terrible hunie?" and I do grab my hat, and dash forthwith forth-with to the pVlntery. ' vlr.-. A" ( . ah . .4, , .. Man the lifeboats! v i ' ART SHANNON. , Full Course gC,lhin?r: gOC ' ' imm immy mmmm ' ' ' '"i-'-iO r- Hot Plate TAKE HoiiF A PIE - Any kind - Any Time EACH SUTTON CAFE ;.,A ,Goo4. Placed To Eat ' 'm' M HCa. U.S. PAT. OFF. "T"r-4T. L-ATT STAND e 1W? BY NEA SSWVtCE. IftC. -' -vtr- Q. IsVthe Atlantic ocean at a j lower level than the Pacafic al the I Panama canal? j A. There are great technical difficulties dif-ficulties in determining relative sea levels, but observations conducted! by the United States Coast and Geodetic Survey, show that the permanent sea level of the Atlantic i3 approximately one-half foot lower than the Pacific at the canal. Q. Where is President GarfieW i buried? ' - - 1 v ' A? tn a crypt at Lake' v'iewce,me' , tery in Cleveland, OhioT j Q. Who was the originator Of the elephant as a "symbol of the Re- j publican party and the donkey ak the symbol of the Democratic party? - A. The Republican elephant, as the pictorial symbol of the Republican' Re-publican' party, was originated by the cartoonist Thomas Nast arid was published in Harper's Weekly, November 7, 1874. The Democratic donkey was also originated by Nast in a cartoon published January 15, 1870, entitled A Live Jackass Kicking Kick-ing a Dead Lion" in which he represented rep-resented the Democratic Pi ess attacking at-tacking Edwin M. Stanton after hi3 death. , Q. In whaCvars did Tom Mix, the actor, serve? A. -He was with the American troops in the Philippines in the War with Spain; and in China during dur-ing the Boxer uprising and with the British Army in the Boer war, at. the siege of Ladysmith. PAIN IN YOUR SHOULDER? Use Tysmol fcr Relief Knife-like jabs of pain in the vicinity of the -shoulder blad3-are generally due to neuritis, brought on by exposure to draughts or sudden sud-den changes of -weather. . In- some cases there is stiffness or soreness in the must js, making it t;:ficuit to raise the arm. . The safest ami easleL- way to. relieve re-lieve such an attack is to apply a small quantity fTysmpl over the affected area,. This soothing, healing heal-ing preparation is quickly absorbed through the pores and carried to the throbbing aching peripheral nerves. The pains usually stop. at once; and m a very ahort time the last trace of soreness should disappear. disap-pear. . -; Tysmol is absolutely harmless - free roin dope. Recommended for rail "forms of nerve pain, whether caused , by neuritis, neuralgia, sciatica sci-atica or rheumatism. Sold by leading lead-ing druggists. , Always on -hand at Hedcfhist Drug Co.' Adv. WANTED To serve you in all pack-. pack-. ing house service. , - Dressed beef and Pork ; cuts. Specialty in curing fand smoking all kinds of meats. ... Call 028J2. SCOTT & PEAY PACKERS ; Sucpsssors to Sutton's x- Q. What state i were formed out i KATE BOOST IN EFFECT of t he Louisiana purchase? j WASHINGTON. Jan. 4. UJ?) A. The following states in their Emergency freight rate increases, entirety: Louisiana, Missouri, Ar-j expected to net the railroads over kansas, Iowa, Minnesota, North Da-' $100,000,000 a year, became effec-kota, effec-kota, South Dakota, Nebraska and ! tive last midnight. The increases Oklahoma and the following in are in the form of temporary sur-part: sur-part: Kansas, Colorado, Wyoming i charges on certain commodity ship-and ship-and Montana. merits, attthorized for the purpose Q. What is the pluial of noise? ' of preventing railroads from de- A. Noises. Mint, neglected in most places, is a profitable crop in Ohio; farmers sell their harvests to gum-makers. V liiHimiiiHHimiiiiiiiiiiitiiitiiin Copr.. 19SJ. Th AmerlciD Tobacco Co. SHFS MISCHIEVOUS. RESTLESS, AND 20, WEIGHS 112 POUNDS. Miss Harlow has smoked Luckies .for two yearf ... not on cent was paid for her signed statement. She rose to stardom in "Hell's Angels' ... and if you've seen, her new COLUMBIA PICTURE, "THREE WISE GIRLS," you'll Understand why thousandsof girls are try ingrto match her riotous platinum blonde locks. We appreciate alt sha writes of Luckies, and so we ay, "Thanks, Jean Harlow." 5 '!'; TUKE IN OJ7 U7CKY oj toaay oecomes faulting fixed payments on their indebtedness. Unless renewed by a second act of interstate commerce commission, they expire March 31, 1933. W.V.-.-JS ts .v.-.-.-:-.-..:. -x ' A v mm ' 1 m 4w ;il1IIIHIllIHIHmilllllHHllHHHIIimiH)IIHI)IIHIIlT iraooue "I've tried all cigarettes and there's none so good as LUCKIES. And incidentally I'm careful in my choice of cigarettes. I have to be because of my throat. Put me down as one who always reaches for a LUCKY. It's d real delight to find a Cellophane wrapper 66 Your Throat Protection against Irritation against cough And Mol&ture-Proof Cellophane ' Keeps that "Toasted" Flavor Ever Fresh STRIKE60 modern minutes with the the news of tomorrow, every ;l uetaay, Out at a friend's place the other . night he was trying to sell us I some steck in a gold mine - - tho j what we were supposed to use fci j money he didn't say and he showed us a swell pros-, pectus showing that there is al- i ways a demand for gold and that I the price never changes and that ! his mine had swell transportation j and there was plenty or" ore ; blocked out to run 20 years and j 1 it looked like a lead-pipe cinoh j in fact it looked just a bit TOO good V :: :': K i So we asked him ning this outfit?" scratched his head "Well. I'm darned -"Who's run-aml run-aml h,e and said -if I reallv know ... j "I never thought to ask and j anyway it doesn't mater because with a layout like they've ot - ' they simply can't lose "And you'd better come in Old j Kid before it's too late ..." j and we guess we're just an old j conservative because we won't jjo on in and make c fortune j overnight i If we knew a mine where the j gold came in solid chunks and j you could buy stock for 10 ccnt.s a j share we wouldn't buy it unless we knew the men who j were running the outfit but on the other hand we j would take a chance on a prospect : nole - jr we knew that the men running it werecompetent mining men and knew their business - - j and had initiative and honesty because business is not built on I natural wealth but on what men do with natural wealth During the late and lamcntd boom millions of people bought stock in companies without the slightest idea what sort of men were running them and people now own stock in scores of companies - - about which they know nothing and couldn't tell you the president's name to save their lives ' and yet when the inevitable happens and they lose their ' money t'hey go around weeping about their "bad luck" 0 i m vM 7 world's finest dance orchestras and Walter WincheU,vhose gossip 1 hursaay ana Saturday evening over "Bad luck", heck! it's, lust darrt-foolishness darrt-foolishness that's what it is no concern canv possibly . succeed suc-ceed without intelligent direction altho a lot of people think' that if an outfit turns out something for which people will pay money it' MUST be a success ' :.? AND. LISTEN; If people would stop investing in stocks and bonds and mines and companies and pry around a bit and then invest in good men there would be a whole lot more real progress and a whole lot less weeping about lost money. OL' G RAMP AW NED OAKLEY WRITES PUNKIN CORNERS. January 2 Editor The Evening Herald: Dear Sir an' Brother: A new X-ray machine, exhibited at th' annual an-nual n tetin' of th' American Association Asso-ciation for th' Advancement of Science, Sci-ence, discloses at birth whether a baby will become light or left-handed. left-handed. This should prove a great boon to parents who wish to know whether Babykins will grow up to be a foulhpaw pitcher or just a good, normal starboard hurler. Another exhibit included a test j to determine th' chemical differ-! differ-! ences between Republicans and J Democrats. This test appears to be ! entirely useless, however. Th' only difference between Republicans and Democrats is that the Republicans Repub-licans have the jobs and the Democrats Demo-crats haven't. Yours truly, CRAMFAW NED OAKI-KV. '0 - ' VISIT AT MANTi Mr. and Mrs. F. M. Alder of, Provo spent the New Year holidays a.s guests of Mrs. Alder's mother,. Mrs. Juiius Jensen at Mahti, where they celebrated the birthday anniversary an-niversary cf Mrs. Jensen. Mr. Alder reports that farmers in Sanpete county are r ejoicing over - the ex-eeptioral ex-eeptioral heavy snow that ha, fallen in that region. 4 that opens XV. is. i networks, ' I - jiiitiii i ii i ii ii ii i ii in i . |