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Show The Park Record A-10 Sat/Sun/Mon/Tues, July 23-26, 2005 MORE DOGS ON M A I N STREET By Tom Clyde • George W and the Supremes SEASON Ginsberg: There's nothing about marriage here. TTie ; is hard for me to say, indeed painful, but it has X to be said. President Bush actually seems to have case is about whether an oil company has to pay taxes to risen above partisanship and made a reasonable nomi- the state of New Mexico, the Navajo Indians, or both. nation for the Supreme Court. His nominee is John Nobody is married. Falwell: Living in sin, are they? Well, if only we had Roberts, a name and face from central casting. Roberts is an experienced and capable lawyer, has been an the Ten Commandments on a big block of granite in the appeals court judge for just long enough to have devel- lobby of the courthouse, it would put an end to that kind oped a reputation as a reasonable and scholarly judge - of behavior. but not so long as to have had a chance to develop a conThomas: Stupid honkey. troversial record. It was great watching the pundits try to It would have been great material to have Falwell on fill hours of cable news when nobody had ever heard of the court, but it^ not going to happen, at least not this the guy before. time. Actually, there was a lot of discussion about Hes supposed to be philosophically conservative, appointing somebody who had not been a judge before. which is Bush's absolute right to appoint, but not the sort That eliminated the minefield of controversial decisions. of wing nut that we might have expected (given Bush's Bush could have appointed anybody from Jennifer recent appointment of PricUla Owen and John Bolton). Lopez to Judge Judy. I wondered if they shouldn't open In other words, Bush has "done the right thing" and it up even further and appoint somebody who wasnt a appointed a qualified and respected person to the court lawyer. I practiced law for long enough to know what it rather than going out of his way to fuel the partisan food does to a person's brain. It s taken years of electro-shock therapy to get over it. fight in the Senate. I just hate it when he does and I still get a nersomething like that. Bush has 'done the right thing1 vous twitch whenever there, is a Siegfried I lost big money on the and appointed a qualified and respected and Jensen ad on TV appointment. Roberts wasnt on anybody's list. person to the court rather than going out so appointing a nonHe's really a low-profile of his way to fuel the partisan food fight pick. I had money riding on Jerry Falwell. The in the Senate. I just hate it when he does processes had not thinking was that Bush is been corrupted by getting a lot of heat from something like that" years of theoretical within the Republican m-w^^^^^^-^tm^mmmtm ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ H ^ M M ^ ^ ^ ^ M hair-splitting, would Party to appoint an evanbe a good move. gelical, Hispanic, woman judge. It was going to be dif- Imagine what could happen if common sense played a ficult to get the trifecta on the first court vacancy, but the role in judicial decisions. evangelicals were making it very clear that they saw this I immediately thought of my old friend, Walt the drycourt appointment as their own for turning out and vot- waller. He's back in the country now that the statute of ing for W. They came out for Bush in a big way, and now limitations has run out on a couple of jobs that went they were presenting the bill and fully expecting to be badly. I don*t know how he fits with Bush's political tests. paid. The implied threat is that if they didnt get a Jerry As far as I know, Walts only deeply held conviction is Falwell appointed to the court, they were going to vote that beer cant ever be too cold. It couldn't hurt to put for -- well I couldnt figure out the "or else" part becduse somebody with some practical experience on the court. they aren't likely to vote for a Democrat or boycott the In the same case, Justice Walt might decide differently: election to help elect one. But I still thought Bush would Walt: I can't make any sense of these tax laws. Can nominate somebody that would cause the Democrats to any of the rest of you honestly say you understand a break out in hives, just because he could. word of the tax code? Other Justices: Mumble, mumble. I pictured the Courts first case with the Rev, Justice Walt As far as I'm concerned, unless they can write Falwell on the bench going something like this: Falwell: I think this case is an excellent opportunity to the tax laws in a way that a normal person can underoverturn Roe v. Wade and save the unborn. I was stand, nobody collects a dime from anybody. Other Justices: That's really a brilliant argument. shocked that neither party even mentioned it in their Walt Let's throw this mess out of here and go to arguments. Scalia: They didnt mention it because this case isnt lunch. Scalia, the first round is on you. I'm sure the Democrats will try to find problems with about abortion. This is a case about taxation on Indian the Roberts appointment. Like the rest of us, he probareservations. There's nobody pregnant Falwell: Great day in the morning! You mean they bly has an unpaid parking ticket from a vacation years ago. But the nomination is likely to go through in a pretalready had the abortion? Kennedy: No, the parties in this tax case are corpora- ty low-key way. Jerry Falwell will just have to wait for tions. Nobody can even get pregnant because they are the next vacancy. corporations, not natural persons. Tom Clyde is a former city attorney a/id author of Falwell: Godless Sodomites! We have to keep them "More Dogs on Main Street. "He has been a columnist from getting married. ~ •• Park Record yev 19 years. PAS'S ES Choosing where to ski and ride is a game of high stakes Make sure you're holding all the right cards Renew or buy online at www.thecanyons.com Or call up the dealer at 435-615-3410 and say "Hit Me." SUNDAY IN THEPARK HIJ/ By Teri Orr Enough with reality! Pay only $100 now! I Put down a $100 deposit before the early season deadline {September 5, 2005- Labor Day) to reserve your pass at the early price. Remainder must be paid by 10/31/05. Through 9/5/05 New Passholder Renewal Full Adult Pass 9/5/0511/14/05 $769 $849 $899 $569 $599 $659 Valid 7 days a week - no blackouts Adult Midweek Pass Valid Sun-Fri. not valid 12/27-12/31/05. 2/18-2/25/06 • Through 11/14/05 Renewal New Passhoider After 11/14/05 Utah K12 Student Pass $99 $99 $149 Honor Roll Pass $79 $79 $139 $379 $399 $449 Valid for junior high and high school students only No-Brainer Pass (ages 18-25) Prices subject to change. 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SKBNG Ma game Kincnpuon valuod at S8. • We're dealing out the cards. * Season Passes on sale now. PARK CITY, UTAH The Canyons and The Canyons mowittin logo ore rogistcred trademarks o( ASC Utah. ©2005 The Ctmyons. Al rigto marwd. have the answer and it is a definitive NOT ME - to extra copies. I bought one and called my adult daughter that question, "Who wants to be a Hilton?" I cant to tell her and find out if she'd gotten out yet to purchase seem to turn on the television and not be asked. The hers. No, she had wanted to meet her brother at the midother night while I was grilling up some dinner I decid- night bookstore event but her little boy had had a rough ed I should turn on the "reality" show, just to understand night and she stayed home. Had I maybe purchased two what the buzz was all about It turned out it was about copies? I would be seeing her in a few hours and she was some very marginalized people who honestly thought ready to read. I confessed I had one bought one and the their lives would be better if they became vain, shallow, sadness in her voice made me understand the error of back-stabbing folks instead of the simple honest crea- my ways. I drove to work to check in on a staff member tures they were at their core. I thought about realities who had an early shift for the day and she asked if I'd that have been the subject of shows in the past and I gotten Potter yet? Since she was just sitting, waiting at her post for the day, she said if she had a copy she'd be have to admit, I dont get it. I am honored in my life to know real survivors... of reading it right now. She is in her mid-twenties and I love cancer, of abuse, of poverty and misfortune. They dont her need to read. I went to my car and carried in the book. Told her to need to eat a plate full of worms to understand any fear factor. They have harrowing stories of chemo and radia- get started between customers. I scurried back to Dolly s tion, of broken bones, broken cars, broken homes. And and bought two more. Jenny and I could read them at life is hard enough making living situations work. the same time in the next week and compare notes. My Nobody needs to have strangers live in their house and son was already more than 100 pages into his copy. try to make that a priority. No, what I've decided is I Foolish, you may say about now. Couldnt you have need more fantasy in my life, more absolutefictionand shared books, waited for one tofinishand then pick it up later to read? Well, you would only conjecture so if you apparently readers of all ages agree. werent... A Potterhead. A Wizardnerd. A Mugblood. I mean how else do you explain why the numbers of Think of a time when you, and the people you love, book sales for the first 24 hours of the newest Harry Potter tome exceeded those of the hottest summer read the exact same book, at the exact same time, and movies? Millions of us didnt want to wait for any paper- then were eager to discuss the outcome. Exactly. In a back version, we were world where reality can hungry for an immedibe, well, all too real, it's atefixof more than 650 nice to escape for pieces You think I will like a children'sof pages of carefully worddays on end, to book? said my son, the academic another time and place, ed adventure about a handful of teenage wizmagical creasnob. And Defense of the Dark Arts aside, where ards and the forces of tures exist and the he has become the biggest Potterhead of spells to control outevil they learn to fight Last night/early comes exist along with us all." them. I have suggested morning around 3 a.m., a number of books in I finished the book. Yes, M " ^ ^ " ^ ^ M M M « M ^ ^ ™ ^-^-^i-wmmm-^-^^-^-^ the seven years since I was in tears but that's as much as you'll get out of me. That, and the fact, poor Harry is now forever more sad- the Potter phenomenon started that my adult children dled with adult understanding that has replaced his pre- and I read together. Or at least close to together. On occasion, they will read a book I have readfirst,"The cious innocence. Since I returned from Spain months ago I hadnt read Secret Life of Bees" made the rounds, "The Da Vinci a book. While this may be normal behavior for others, Code" and "Angels and Demons." But I never would for an often three-book-a-week gal like me, it was a sig- have had a moment of influence in their adult reading nal that my life was seriously out of whack. Yes, I'd been habits had I not introduced my family to Harry. terribly busy at work and I was digging in the garden and A childrens book? You think I will like a children's making certain the birds were having their feeders filled book? said my son, the academic snob. And Defense of on a nearly daily basis, but it still didnt explain why I the Dark Arts aside, he has become the biggest wasnt readingPotterhead of us all. It would be arrogant of me to say there was nothing I - Each summer I think this will be the year I will hit the wanted to read - there are hundreds of books on my lottery and take my adult children and their families on "read someday" list that would have been perfect for a long, long vacation to a beach house with rooms athe porch as the sun set and the heat of the day dissi- plenty and cupboards overflowing and board games in pated. But they didnt somehow pull at me. I'd start a closets and time uninterrupted to harvest memories. To novel, read a few pages and toss it aside. My attention date, life hasn't handed out that card. So instead, we wasnt on the words. And it hasnt been just books. I am vacation together by escaping to England, to a world of normally a voracious reader of magazines and newspa- magic, to revisit our old friends, Ron and Hermione and pers and all things periodical. Not .so this summer. I Ginny and Neville and see strange creatures and have havent even kept up on my bathtub favorite, People foods serve themselves and sneak under the invisibility magazine. cloak to go undetected when need be. It may seem My son had invited me down to Salt Lake to join his rather foolish to those who dont choose to come along little family last week at a Harry Potter party. Because of but, in a world so short of magic, I will take and make ray work schedule I was unable to attend. But it wasnt those moments whenever I can. And I will look forward until he talked about leaving his wife and kids asleep at to a family supper when we gather around and share our home later and going out at midnight to pick up the lat- literary travels, this weekend I suspect, perhaps this very est Potter pages that I realized I hadnt even reserved a Sunday in the Park... copy this time. Lucky for me, the folks at Dolly's bookTeri Orr is a former editor ofThe Park Record and store knew there'd be a few slackers and they ordered director oftfte Park City Performing Arts Center. |