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Show r our move, Mr. Nixon By DON GARRETT It is widely known that Henry Kissinger telephoned Bobby Fischer just before the current world championship chess match began, to convince Fischer to go ahead with the match. What is not generally known is that Kissinger, in case F.scher refused, was prepared to send one t his own top assistants, Richard Nixon, to Iceland as a substitute. Bobby Fischer is known to be paranoid, vain, and to hate hippies; in other words, a Fischer Administration wouldn't be much different from the one we've got now. But Nixon as a chess master could have changed the whole course of chess history. A Reporter: Good morning, sir. It's good to see you here. Mr. Nixon: It's great to be here in Ireland. The people-Reporter: people-Reporter: Excuse me, sir, but this is Iceland. Mr. Nixon: Wherever. I've always said that I'm willing to go anywhere, anytime, for peace. Unless, of course, I'm busy. Reporter: Mr. Nixon, you missed the first three games before finally coming to the one that began yesterday. Was that because you were unhappy with the arrangements? Mr. Nixon: No, I was at my hotel shaving. Reporter: For six days? Mr. Nixon: Gee whiz, it takes a little time with a beard like mine. Just when you get one cheek done, the other one needs it again. If I hadn't finally run out of blades, I wouldn't be here at all. Reporter: According to most experts, you've already lost the game started yesterday. Yet in spite of that, you took the adjournment ad-journment instead of resigning. Will you resign the game today? Mr. Nixon: Not as long as the other side continues to hold some of my pieces prisoner. There will be no end to the conflict until those captive pieces are released. Reporter: The Russians say you'll get your pieces back as soon as you resign. Mr. Nixon: We have no assurance of that. Anyway, they're just pouting because I insist on calling President Thieu before each move. Reporter: What about tomorrow's game? Mr. Nixon: Well, I've changed the name of my bishops. Now I call them Billy Grahams. I run a non-sectarian ship. Reporter: I was referring, sir, to the rumors that you won't play tomorrow. Mr. Nixon: Well, I'll be there, but I won't be making any moves. Reporter: Why is that? Mr. Nixon: As you know, I will have the white pieces tomorrow. And I believe it's time we had a moratorium on moving innocent little white pieces all over the board into black neighborhoods just to achieve some kind of balance. Reporter: Mr. Nixon, if you lose today, that will put you four games behind. And if you refuse to play tomorrow, that will make five. Do you really think you can still win this match? Mr. Nixon: Yes, I think I can bring about an honorable solution to this match. As you know, I'm turning over more and more of the conduct of this match to the pawns themselves. And I have a Secret Plan... "So long, kid . . ." |