| OCR Text |
Show BELSMIT ByJimNNaldo "Yo ho," I sez to Hoyo one fine autumn day, "but is that Smedley Birchjohn i coming our way?" J 'Hubba,"sez Hoyo, stowing his coffee in a container sos as to be able to use it later v- wan auto lubricant and land fill, "I do - believes you is right. But maybe he won't see us." , But we was to have no such luck. For no ,t. Sconer does Smedley espy us than he j( swoops down upon our table to tell us his' I tall ''What's happening?" 1 asks, half hoping ir, '"at he would no tell us. Th,in8S is looking up for me and my kind," eplies Smedley. if. U oh sez Hoyo, "looks as though we is ' "fble. Tell us more sos we can know ha way the world is going to pot." os 'ngs is really improving around here," f ntmues Smedley. "For now there is an fy htn'.lat'0n on camPus which 'S readY to snt those terrible commies-the Joseph a',. Earthy Memorial Fund." '' ZY ' Sez '"sedulously, "You sure that I? Irst narre ain't Eugene?" ", Kfrr Sez Smedl ""ot on a bet. f Za ' 5 15 for ,hat a American and : ZTUi gUy' ,oe- A fu"d Sn his nobile nd KhT th- P Us "landing Americans fie 8 the enoaching red menace." a really good thing to use in case any of those dastardly college hippie pervert queer activists start getting uppity again." "Well," I sez, deciding that a specimen of this sort might never again come my way, "what are you planning on doing until either the commies land in San Diego or the dastardly college hippie pervert queer activists get uppity?" "Right now," sez Smedley, "we is protesting President Nison's trip to Red China." "Why is you doing that?" questions Hoyo. "Well," sez Smedley, "it is like this. If he visits them, then he recognizes them. And if he recognizes them, then we got two commie super powers to worry about rather than just one." "The old head in the sand argument," sez Hoyo, his nose turning as red as his face, "I've seen it many times before. "But," I points out, "look at it this way. If you don't recognize the existence of Red China, then you can't recognize the existence of the trip. And to protest the trip, you must recognize the existence of another communist super power. So either way you lose." "Wait a second," sez Smedley after a long pause, "that can't be right. You sure that your name ain't Comrade Waldonozki?" "Well " I sez, finally getting over the shock of realization, "what does such an upstarting up-starting organization stand for?" "Well," sez Smedley, "we stands for those idealwhich have made our country great, "the ideals of that man who we is named after." af-ter." "Far out," sez Hoyo, taking three tranquilizers to calm hisself down, "it is nice to see that there is someone around who is defending wire taping, a police state, and guilt by incrimination and without a trial." "Well," replies Smedley, "these are difficult dif-ficult times, and not all the ideals wh.ch our founding fathers had have been understood un-derstood correctly." "Like which ones? I asks. "Oh, all the ones in the Bill of Rights," replies Smedley. "All of them?" cries Hoyo. "Well, not quite," replies Smedley, "the right to bear arms is, of course, necessary for all us red blooded American virile males. Just think what could happen if the Commies thought that my trusty machine gun nd I would not meet them if they ever tried to invade." "A frightening thought all right," sez Hoyo. "You better believe it," continues Smedley, "and you also better believe that it will be |
