OCR Text |
Show Too windy to stack B.B. 's Leadin' young banker quits By JIM WALDO "Yoho," I scz to Hoyo one fine summer's day, "But rejoice my friend. Yes, today is a day for celebration, for dancing in the streets and strewing rose petals in my path." "You finally got a time for your frontal lobot-omy?" lobot-omy?" sc. Hoyo in wonderment. "Better than that." I exclaims. "For the young boy has now joined the ranks of the unemployed." Tricky Strikes Again "Tricky Dick strikes again," replies I loyo, dullness in his tone, mouth and brain. "That don't make you very special at all in this day and age, when a nicklc y - if won't buy a live-cent cigar and Moss won't cither." "Ah ha," I exclaims, "But there is a difference between niincsclf and those other millions milli-ons on welfare." "No kiddin'," se Hoyo, "And it certainly is a good thing or we would be in very bad shape." Jim Waldo "Right again," I scz, "But in the most wrong of ways. For the difference I was speaking of was not in the level of sanity but in that 1 am unemployed by choice." "What?" scz Hoyo, disbelief in his eyes. And, after getting a hanky and wiping the disbelief out, he continues, "Don't let any of the hard hats or journalists hear that or you could be drawn and quartered. "The quarter is almost over," I replies, "And no one would want to draw me in the first place. The point is, I am no longer Salt Lake's leading young capitalist, counting money for the bank." "And why, might 1 asks," scz Hoyo, "did you do a rash thing like that?" "Well." I replies. "The reasons are many and varied. First of all, I could have gotten paid more money planting rice in a paddy." "Watch it," sez Hoyo. "Such outbursts of ethnic humor will not be lolorated." People Got to Me "Also." I replies. "I did not like the work and the people I had to deal with were gelling lo me. People in particular are some of the neaiesl of animals, but people in general are a pain in the fabled rear." "In other words." scv lloyo, "you decided to become a lazy bum." "1 would prefer you using other words." I replies. "But other than lluil. you is pretty much correct. I lowever. I do have one pang of remorse." "And lliat is?" asks I lovo. "Thai the freaks in this part of town no longer have someone who will cash (heir checks without any hassle." I replies. "And I feel especially bad about il since 1 am now one of those freaks who will have a bad time." |