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Show Dead Diety Camp in Error Nuns Ronald Reagan will play God. In Full Color Sweatshirts, tennis shoes, swimming pools and yo-yos, each featuring an authentic au-thentic one-sixteenth life size luminescent likeness of Reagan as God in full color will be produced and promoted by the National Bible Society. With headquarters deep under the Colorado Colo-rado Rockies, SAP controls the world's most modern military machine. At Central Cen-tral Control, an area restricted to only those most trusted among the ranking general grade officers, General of the Armies Ikes Plight sits at Red Button Total. General Plight says, "We must never rule out the ultimate weapon. Freedom Free-dom after all, is the essence of Democracy." Demo-cracy." General Plight's personal orderly, Sgt. Maj. Smuthunter, a 60-year man sporting 12 purple hearts, a cluster of silver stars and an impeccable record, is always near the general with polish and rag at the ready. Smuthunter in his refined Southern South-ern California accent says, "Me and the general, we been together since the beginning." be-ginning." Liberal Expediency Hot Line A connects Central Control with the White House where presidential advisor Horrible Hackneyed Horratio (HHH) stands by to transcribe military expediency into sound liberal political philosophy. Says HHH, "Every citizen enjoys the protection of the constitution and God is no exception." J. B. (Rock) Prowlmister, representing the firm of Prowlmister, Prowlmister, Slick, Rich and Sisters, public relations coordinator for SAP, says his firm's prin ciple assignment is to w ., I people know just whatklJ want. Said young j.H erty rights and mother' I of freedom. We intend?5' , and hang the cost!" mk$ From the rS0 1 dent had a ta'f groups. "These atheistic fiSi , monger intellectuals are'?fe vous nellies. They're i . t; " the troops." The AS rt both God and butter are 7 al: ' Over BBC AustSty British prime minister, pi support of the Empire 3f Shucks has availed the m; his island republic. ShuS ' mediate invasion. LKSfar R. Ralph Curbie, chief 0f a. t lice, reports undercover this moment uncovering an t conspiracy of undefined but ly dangerous nature. Curbie men m the field, at last 2". agents, have discovered stretching from Singapore-; with affiliates in London, Lisbo, : : Vegas. With auxiliary heS Bell Telephone, Curbie's m: c constant monitor. ' In a last-minute communi Mr ranch where he was hosting the press at a Texas-style barM' President said, "We won't es e don't." ',) Meanwhile, the SAP armada ; i ing off Normandy in a thick1' H America, breathless with ait t waits. . By Marcus Smith A certain powerful political faction holds that God is by no means dead, but rather, is being held captive by unscrupulous unscrupu-lous libertines on the Riviera. Known as the Senate ad hoc Committee for a Sane American Policy (SAP) and headed by a coalition of Southern Democrats, Demo-crats, Corn Belt Republicans and gaining impetus from an array of backlashes, this group theorizes that God was abducted in Kansas, spirited down the Mississippi in a Chinese gun boat diabolically disguised dis-guised as a canoe, flown Air France to Cannes and then transported via a succession suc-cession of underground connections to a dank castle overlooking a nudie beach on the Mediterranean. Threat to Life It is held that God, under threat of his life, is being forced by persons of questionable, ques-tionable, if not actually suspect sexual allegiance, to design ladies street, beach, and intimate wear for the finer European houses of fashion. A large-scale rescue operation is scheduled, sched-uled, and being of practical as well as serious turn of mind, SAP intends not only to return God to his rightful home and stature, but has arranged to finance the project with only a minimal tax increase in-crease by utilizing the free enterprise system. For an undisclosed price Purity Enterprises, Enter-prises, Inc. has acquired exclusive movie rights. William Buckley will do the script and as currently envisioned, the film will be a musical extravaganza titled, "I Was a Teenaged, Hophead Billionaire for the CIA." Done on location at Disneyland, it will star Julie Andrews and the Singing |