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Show ONE DID ITS PART A CITY merchant is inordinately proud of his small suburban farm, from which he commutes daily. One day he was proudly conducting con-ducting a visitor over his rural acres. "You have a nice little place here," the visitor remarked. "Yes, I think I have," was the reply. "A nice garden." "Yep." "And some fine chickens." "Especially fine chickens." "You like chickens very much?" asked the visitor. "Indeed, I do!" was the enthusiastic enthusi-astic reply. "I tell you it is fine to take a basket every morning and go out after eggs." At this point the little daughter of the amateur farmer brought the proceedings to a close by brightly chiming in. "Yes, sir, and sometimes some-times we find one!" NOT EVEN ADVERTISED C " 1 1 GENUINE F "5 i HAIR f Lrestdrerl; A man dropped his wig in the street and a boy picked it up and handed it to him. "Thanks, my boy," said the owner of the wig. "You are the first genuine hair restorer I have ever seen." Killing Two Birds A tired mother was walking her wailing infant back and forth at one o'clock in the morning when the bedroom door opened. Hubby appeared ap-peared on the scene carrying his shoes. "Oh, gee," she thought, "maybe he can quiet her." Instead, he said: "Here, put these shoes on. While you're walking, you might as well break 'em in for me." Or Aro Lights An ambitious little group of amateur ama-teur performers was bravely contending con-tending with the manifold problems of mounting a tableau bearing the ambitious title of "Noah's Ark." "Now, how shall we illuminate the ark?" asked one anxious participant. par-ticipant. "Oh, that's easy," rejoined a whimsical member. "With flood lights, of course." Truthful Advertising An accounting school advertised: adver-tised: "Short Course in Accounting Account-ing for Women." A few days later a note reached the school's director. It said: "There is no accounting ac-counting for women." Exotio Delicacies A mountaineer who came Into town saw a bunch of bananas for the first time. He asked the dealer what they were. "Bananas," he said; and then he good-naturedly added, "Try one." "No, I reckon not," the man from the mountains replied. "Ive got so many tastes now I can't satisfy, I ain't aimin' to take on any more." After Santa Clans Father was not greatly pleased by the school report brought to him by his hopeful "How is it," he demanded, de-manded, "that you stand so much lower in your studies for January than for December?" "Why Dad," the boy replied in an injured tone, "don't you know that everything is marked down after the holidays?" 'TIS A GOOD WORLD The knight of the road hit the lady of the house for a handout. As she passed over a sandwich she ! asked, "By the way, have you ever been offered a job?" The tramp replied, "Only once, lady. Other than that I've met with nothing but kindness." |