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Show Page Four WEBER HERALD 1U TO-NIGHT AND TO-MORROW NIGHT 8 O'clock SHARP CARNIVA Young Man! Your personal appearance is going to have much to do with your success in life. It is our business to advise and help you succeed in this respect. Wright's Mens Section WE REPEAT IT A dozen photographs will endear you to twelve friends THE TRIPP PHOTO STUDIO "The Photographer in Your Town" 320 Twenty-fifth St. The best expression of any art is the one you have studied most. The greatest expression you can study is the ART OF LIVING Make your moments worth while T. EARL PARDOE DRAMATIC ART : PUBLIC SPEAKING C. B. JOHNSON, D. C, Ph. G. H. W. ROBERTS, D. G. CHIROPRACTORS Suite 412-13-14-15-16-17-26 Col. Hudson Bldg. Xray Laboratory Phone 707 MORE LIGHT for LESS MONEY Edison Mazda Lamps Watson-Flygare Hardware Co. Phone 90 2414 Washington Avenue SERVICE Bramwell's Books, Stationery and School Supplies EXCEL PRICES RIGHT ASSORTM EXT COMPLETE With the Nuts HOW THEY DESCRIBE HER Her mother "A good girl." Her father "An angel child." Her youngest brother "A stuck- up thing." Her oldest brother A cute Kiel, but selfish." The minister's wife "That very pretty girl." The woman next door "That in sipid blonde." Her employer A gum chewer. The young man bookkeeper at the office "Not so bad for looks, but nobody home." The office boy "Poor, I guess." (Her beaux) Jack "A bear." Tom "A cheater." Ned "Some dancer." Dick "The sweetest girl in the world." NEXT MOVE? He Since you lost that bet, I think I can claim the forfeit. She I really don't know what you mean; and, besides, some one might LIMERICK ON YPRES There was a young lady from Ypres, Who ran like the deuce from the snypers, To her zeal she proved martyr, For snap! went her shoe string, And next day 'twas in all of the pypres ! Ex. A THOUGHTFUL PARENT Claude I have your permission to call this evening? Ruth I shall be very pleased; but don't forget that father switches off the light at ten o'clock. Claude That's kind of him. I'll be there promptly at ten. CURIOSITY Bill I want a pair of fancy trousers you for dress. Clerk For dress? Where do expect to wear them? Bill Why er right where I' wearing these, ma'am. SAFETY FIRST? Bobby I suppose if I kissed you, you would never speak to me again? Cora Why d'o you always look on the dark side of things? PAPA HAD A GROUCH M. Gill Jack, dear, did you call on papa today? Jack Sure I did, but he didn't appear to enthuse very much over my visit. ' M. Gill What did he say? Jack Why, when I asked him for permission to press my suit, he simply answered, "Why don't you send it to a tailor?" Returned Soldier But when I told her I killed a German with one hand, she grabbed it and kissed it all over. His Friend Why didn't you tell her you bit the blighter to death? Ex. Father: "Goodness, how you look." Son: "I fell into the pond." Father: "What! With your new trousers on?" Son: "I didn't have time to take them off." An old man of Abingahammer, Possessed of a wife and a stammer, Said: "The plague of my li-li-life Is my wi-wi-wi-wife, Di-di-di-di-di-di damn her! PROPHETIC Little Brother Bet he'd kiss you if I weren't here ! Sister You insolent bo3'! Go away this very minute ! Mrs. Croft (after sending John to see if the newspaper was out in front) Well, was it there? John Yes, ma'am. Mrs. . C. Why didn't you bring it in? ' - John Oh, I never thought of that. FROM $4 TO $9 THE A PAIR SHOE FOR MEN Clark 's 2358 WASHINGTON AVENUE PETTY GREETS GRADUATES (Continued from Page One) place in the mind of the student a confidence and respect which is created by this feeling of love and good fellowship. Weber prides herself in the knowledge that her students and faculty are one big family, having the same ideals and the same end, progress. Our activities in all branches are encouraged and sponsored. Our athletic prospects this year are the most promising that they have been in many years. Our basketball team has won five games without a loss and our prospects of winning the state championship are bright indeed. Our orators, debators and dramatists promise victory to Weber in all they enter. In patriotic work the school has surpassed that of many other schools. Weber stands for the best in social, physical and intellectual development, which are the necessary requisites of an ideal school. Once more, we invite you to enter our institution and welcome you to our "family" on March the tenth at 8:45 a. m. Sincerely and faithfully, RUSSELL B. TETTY, President of Weber Student Body Nowadays Little Miss Muffet She sat in a buffet, Partaking of Scotch highball; Along came a wooer And sat down next to her, But she didnt frighten at all! The Beginning Mary I've just found out what was the origin of the harp. Jep Yes? Mary It was in the Garden of Eden. Eve ate the apple and men have been harping about it ever since. His Requests A drummer from Chicago lay dying in Algiers. (I've paid my poet's license, so just withhold your sneers!) A reporter took this message when he'd feebly told his name: "Tell my wife I lover her only; tell Jones' wife the same." "Speaking of the dead languages, professor," inquired Hink, "who killed them?" Epitaph for a Knocker H e loved the anvil chorus, E ach day his hammer raged L oudest of all the knockers, Look where they have him caged!. A STORE THAT TRIES TO PLEASE V 4 YOU CAN DEPEND ON SQUARE TREATMENT AT OUR PLACE J. S. LEWIS & CO. JEWELERS SERVICE WITH QUALITY IS OUR- MAXIM ik- See what the boys brought home from France in our Window Display STEELE' CARLSON GROCERY COMPANY 350 25TH STREET If you use lard substitute try RUSSELL-JAMES SHORTENING There Is No Other Shortening Quite So Good Have you Ever Tried NOODLES If so, you will try them again; if not, try them and you will eat them always. MATSUBA COMPANY 273 TWENTY-FOURTH STREET B. F. THOMAS PRINTER jZ? jZ? jZ? 2476 WASHINGTON AVE. Phone 147-J M. L. JONES COAL & ICE CO. COAL AND ARTIFICIAL ICE Phone 1G03 |