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Show 6 THE SIGNPOST Tuesday, August 6, 1991 V ROBOTMAN by Jim Meddick WHY'RE YOU WICK! SCRUBBING, HELP ME THE BOTTOM CLEM.' OF THE rW.PoWS PHONE ijl SISTER'S Y H itct-rr r.ur 1IJU. IC.. EVIDPWTlV MUCH OF THF ENTEOTAIWrAErTT ON THIS PLANET DESIGNED TO SENSUALLY ' s 5 DILBERT by Scott Adams UttO UOULD UlN IF UAIT. .. UrlO'5 WEARING A GIANT MOTH FOUGHT TKL 7UrP5U IT - THE hyLthftII?! ? A GIANT BUT MODEST f GIANT ttOTri OR ThE nYPOT nLCnL . BEE IN AN ALL-UOOL T1 GIANT DEE ? i V r? I CAN'T STOP PUTTING IT 5TARTED HARMLESSLY. . . DO YOU THERE ARE WRITING TOOLS IN MY FIRST A PENIj THEN TWO. HAVE THE SECONDARY SHIRT POCKET. . . NOLO I'M AFRAID TO GO SECONDARY COLORS ? I ANYWHERE WITHOUT A i COLORS? " L 0F J g y " If ;fh.. 1 ii mi A ACTIVITIES Horseback Riding Explore Disneyland Visit the Beach Experience Universal Studio Play at Las Vegas Enjoy the beauty of Southern Utah including Arches, Rrycc. '.ion. and the Grand Canyon PRICES The price of the trip is $575 hi.h includes: All Transportation All Lodg.ng All Meals Entry Fees into Parks. Disneyland, and Universal Studios All Instruction UGUST 21-27 Yini'll sun vnui cxjdiiion wuh lotn il.tv survc inj; hi- iuiutjI txaiiu o L'uh's NjiioiuI Parks mi iiulm Afi'ho. Capitol Reef, i .tn.) ion Also, cxpcri I'na' itw tnlnui.' of ihc Giand C.nni'ii NVt. u cl on to Sontlvrn C.ililomi.i to explore DiMievi.ind. Ncwptirl BeJv'h. and L nivi.-rs.il SiLtJio tn the uip lionie. m n il iviul .1 nihi in La js An wu ujvel viu'll learn Horn Di Don Muqihy. Geogr.i pii !!. 'lessor ji Wetx-r Slate I niersin. and ejrn two credit hours in (ieiraprn. GREETINGS. PLEASE. PARDON ME A MOMENT WHILE I EXAWKJE VOtJP KITCHFkl THIS PR06RAM Mn nrniQT l 1? 1 HND PARTICULARLY LEX COfAPOSUpE OFFENSIVE; THAH I WOULD FALL F&R THIS STRUTTING Colorado Ri-tr A At Grant! Canyon I ML II 1 vlV ,V' UTAH NATIONAL I'lUKS & SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA GEOGRAPHY EXPEDITION OTHER INFORMATION Instructor: Dr. Don Murphy, WSU Geography Professor Sponsored by Weber State University Continuing Education international Programs Minimum expedition sic 1 5 participants Application deadline August 2. luul Return application jnd lee to Weber Slate Liuvorsity. Continuing Education. International Programs. Ogden. IT 84408 4010 QUESTIONS If you have any qucsuons. please contact John Dallimorc at 626 7320. V ..... SHE'S MAKItb k TRICORPER Check unper THE REFRIGERATOR " 1 UD TNDPFn UnA) TUPV Drr-T J lli(MW TUIQ 9,7FArAV 1-N r SWEATER W THE AIR S FUTURE PROGRAMS Eastern United Slates Tom including New York City and Washington. 1) C . December 1 2 20. 19" I (3 hrs History Credit) I ;km;kaphy kxi-kmtion I AI'I'I K A TION N.ime ss Addre L''l ... Slate . Zip - J Cheek enclosed for S575. j -a vjeoprapny ereon irsirco j J rcr Unidentified individuals create useless cliches By Jennifer Harding Asst. Arts editor of 7he Signpost In our American culture we have been brought up and survived on many mysterious things such Spam, Ding Dongs and Mountain Dew. There are many undefined aphorisms we ingest daily like "An apple a day keeps the doctor away," and "The early bird gets the worm." Why do we believe such things? Because an unidentified group of individuals referred to as "they" said so. I pondered this very thing very late one night and the next morning decided to pursue it. Through some intense investigative reporting which took me to the farthest reaches of this earth I came to a frightening conclusion on what "they" stands for. My conclusion is that THY is a acronym for Tacky Hair-brained Eccentric Yahoos. This group of approximately 5,000 people come from various socioeconomic backgrounds with one thing in common: they were all rejected as contestants on the Dating Game and or Jeopardy. They can also be a former or present vice-president.Reliable sources have compiled a partial list of the more popular members of T.H.E.Y. Included are Vice-President Dan Quayle, who serves as head of the committee (and we thought he wasn't doing any good in his position). A surprising inclusion was Dan's twin brother Patrick Quayle who has changed his name to the more catchy and less embarassing Pat Sajak . The founder of this organization is Wilford Brimley, who many may remember the "Quaker Oatmeal Man" who is always telling us to do the right thing and a tasty way to do it. Join Utah Symphony for classic Dixieland jazz Enjoy the excitement of an evening in New Orleans as the Dukes of Dixieland join Kirk Muspratt and the Utah Symphony for a program of classic Dixieland jazz. The program can be heard in Symphony Hall, Friday, August 9 at 8 p. m., at Deer Valley Saturday, AugustlO at 7:30 p. m. and at Snowbird Sunday, August 11 at 3:30 p.m. The Dukes of Dixieland were founded in 1949 by the Assunto Brothers. From the beginning, the group captured the multi-faceted sound of New Orleans, a distinctive blend of traditional Dixieland, pop, and innovative jazz rhythms. The six-member ensemble has thrilled audiences throughout the world appearing with headliners like The Four Freshmen, Stan Kenton, Woody Herman, Dr. John, and Sarah Vaughn. When not on concert tours, the Dukes make their home at Mahogany Hall in New Orlean's famed French Quarter. For their Utah performances, the Dukes of Dixieland will present a variety of favorite jazz tunes. Included on the program are Louis Armstrong's "Swing That Music," Scott Joplin's "Maple Leaf Rag," Haggard and Bawdie's ""South Rampart Street Parade," and other traditional favorites. Under Muspratt's direction, the orchestra will perform Morton Gould's "Latin-American Sym-phonette," George Gershwin's The Ultimate Embelli shm en ' " " 1 M 11 'W.lUoit'l1 "My conclusion is that T.H.E.Y is an acronym for Tacky Hairbrained Eccentric Yahoos. This group of approximately 5,000 people come from various socioeconomic backgrounds... " Time is something you need a lot of in theT.H-E.Y committee. The goal of the group is to make up crazy little cliches and then organize squads to go out and spread them into the American language. Some of these couldn't be wholly true. For example, the quirky little "Early to Bed, Early to Rise, Makes one healthy, wealthy and wise."My sleeping rituals are quite the opposite and I do fine. Next time you catch yourself saying "You know what they say," stop for a moment and ponder the implications of what you are saying . Actually what you say won't mean beans to anyone, but ponder anyway. Promenade from 'The Real McCoy," Foster's "Oh Suzanna" and several other American works. Local jazz musician and arranger Lloyd Miller will join the orchestra for a performance of the Cajun tune ""Eh La Bah." Prior to the Friday performance in Symphony Hall, patrons are invited to enjoy Plazafest, the Utah Symphony outdoor summer tradition. Plazafest features live music, great food offered by local restaurants, and the relaxing atmosphere located fountainside on the plaza of Symphony Hall. The August 9 Plazafest will feature the music of The Salt Lake Good Times Jazz Band. Featured restaurants are The American Grill, Casa Del Sol, Ferrantelli, E.I.B.O.'sand Red's Frozen Yogurt. Plazafest begins at 6 p. m. and is open to the general public. Concert tickets are currently available at the Utah Symphony Box Office. Prices for the Symphony Hall performance are $12 to $18. Deer Valley tickets are $15 in advance and $17 at the door. A limited number of reserved seats are available at Deer Valley for $27. Snowbird tickets are $14 in advance and $16 at the door. A limited number of reserved seats are available at Snowbird for $22. For more information or to order tickets, call the Utah Symphony Box Office at 533-NOTE. |