OCR Text |
Show 6 Signpost-Friday, April 6, 1984 A view from the cheap seats Bell's Invention A Wrong Number by Bill Conlon Contributing Writer On-the-Spot Class Load Varies Among WSC Students The Signpost conducted On-the-Spot interviews concerning how long students take to graduate. Students were asked how many credit hours they average per quarter and how many credit hours they thought other students average per quarter, oms;.,, wt It's been said there runs a fine line between genius and insanity. If so, Alexander Graham Bell may have smudged it a bit. We thought him a great man, but his dark legacy haunts us still. Oh, the telephone is a marvelous thing, no question. Why, you can pick one up and call nearly any living soul on the planet. But they'll be in the tub -or worse. Bell knew that. And the phone never sleeps, though you may try. Bell knew that, too. Perhaps he only had the nightmare of a persistent drunk with a well-written wrong number. But his dream lives on. As a contemporary of Thomas Edison, surely Bell saw what would happen if the two joined forces. The tape-recorderanswering machine is a horrible evil spawned in the limbo of Hold. And the monster grows -it has learned to dial! One called me last weekend! Untimely rousted from a Sunday morning slumber, I was stunned to hear a taped voice answer my hello. My mind raced. Is this a ransom demand, I thought? A death threat? Oh, no! Even worse! It's a sales pitch! I was caught by a random dialing machine, it said. Oh doom. Why, you could terrorize an entire city with a hundred of these! Or instead of random dialing, load it with the numbers of everyone you know and hate. If Bell even had an inkling of such a hellish device . . . Pavlov was likewise a contemporary of our Inquisitor. Just try not to answer your phone sometime. Or even a public one with no one else in sight. It's eerie. Keys have been snapped, the elderly bowled over and doors slammed off their hinges, just to answer Bell's curse. Bell may have been paranoid as well hence the phone number, a special code word that some prefer to keep secret. Some people will give you their names but not their numbers. Hmm. And if the wrong people discover your secret code, you may endure all manner of vermin and salesmen calling at all hours. You have to be very careful phone numbers are personal things. After all, you can't really say you know someone unless you have their number memorized, right? What has he done to us? Back in the peaceful pre-Bell era, important messages came by post. You could work on your car, or lounge in a hammock, and the postman would still deliver the message. And you never had to scramble for pad and pen, either; but no longer. Thanks to Bell, an important message today causes ulcers. You have to stay indoors, hovering over' the contraption. You can't call out, and you can't leave, even to run out and check the mail. Then comes the heart-stopping ring -but it may only be the neighbor. And if it doesn't ring, that's even worse. The postman never did that. Bell did. Yes, the father of the telephone had a dark side to his invention that he never showed us, one that we're only now discovering. Can it get any worse? Well, there's always the video phone ... The Signpost will be presenting "A View From the Cheap Seats" as a frequent humor column. Any student may submit a humorous essay for publication in this column. The article must be two or three double-spaced, typed pages. Absolutely nothing of longer length will be considered. The Signpost reserves the right to edit all submissions. Submit to Signpost Managing Editor Rae Dawn Olbert. "I take 12 credit hours to keep up with the flow. It will take me about four years to graduate. That varies (number of credits students take per quarter). It depends on the intellect of the student. I think most students average about 14 credit hours per quarter." Barry Henderson Sophomore "About 15 credit hours now. I've been going to college for ten years, taking a few hours at a time. I've attended three different colleges, and I've been here two years. I have one year and one quarter to go." Leslie Winn Senior "I average 16-17 credit hours. I'll be out in four years. If they (students) apply themselves they could graduate in four years. They slack off and don't realize the classes they have to take." Mike Jorgenson Sophomore -Students- We have a good selection of computer supplies! Disks SSDD & DSDD Disk Storage Boxes Surge Supressors Printer Paper Printer Ribbons i .sK 'frA 1 , A Good Selection-Great Buys Weber State Bookstore "I take about 15 credit hours. I'll get my associates here in about 1 12 years and then I'll go to the University of Utah. I was able to clep out (of classes) so it's different how many credit hours I take per quarter." Dave Terry Sophomore "About 16. It's taking me five years because I didn't go two quarters and I changed majors. I think if people take 16 credit hours they could graduate in four years." Liz Manfull Junior "I graduated with a BGS degree in the summer of 1983. I started in 1978. I averaged about 15 or more credit hours per quarter. I'm a part-time student now and have nine credit hours." Robert Timothy Senior ' 1 |