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Show Page 6 SIGNPOST Friday, April 2, 1971 "The Shy One" Writes to CS. by Rick Mitz Stomach Ache You are what you eat, so they say, and, if that's .the case, then college students aren't much. Simply because they don't each much. I haven't eaten in about three weeks. I do this in order to wrjte. My hands, after about two weeks, begin shaking. I place tham over the typewriter and voila instant column. Marathon malnutirition, however, isn't for everyone. But for me and many others, eating is very low on the priority list somewhere between buying records and paying rent. There are, however, ways of getting around student starvation. With a little imagination, a little creativity, a little stamina, and a lot of vitamin deficiency, you, too, can save all ,that wasted money you splurge on food and spend it for something worthwhile, like a trip to Ft. Lauderdale next spring break. But don't tell your mother. Being poor and being a student (is there a differnece?), I have found many ways to save money on culinary circumstances. I often visit friends' homes around dinnertime. I attend many pot-luck suppers, bringing as my contributions things like ketchup "for restaurant use only," salt and pepper, half-full doggie-bags and a ravenous stomach. Colleges themselves don't help the starving student much. Academic eateries don't exactly cater to epicurean appetites. I often have nightmares about those gray vending machines filled with decrepit sandwiches with the little half-olive pressed between the bread and the cellophane - for color, I suppose-- an off-olive gangrene. These sandwiches are so bad that you often can't tell the difference between the wrapping and its innards. Fasting is another way of saving money on such an insignificant expenditure as food. Pick a Cause, any Cause. Become a Malnutritioned Martyr with a Cause of anything from starving people in China to well-fed ones in Scarsdale. I recommend the Vietnam War. You can begin with that Cause in your freshman year and be sure it'll still be around when you graduate. Nothing more disorienting than trying to change Causes mid-fast. Some students take appetite depressant pills that fill up your stomach. "I have a manic-depressive stomach," said one recently starving student. "My appetite's so depressed," he said, "It's gonna cry any minute." There are guides and cookbooks that explain how to eat cheaply. But for the price of one of these books, you could go out and have a few decent meals. When grocery shopping, there 1J Diamond Solitaires from $100 And, who but the world's largest jeweler could create such magnificent contemporary solitaires as these? Each exquisite Zale diamond solitaire is mounted in a graceful setting of 14K gold. See our complete selection. Diamond Solitaire Set $250 Marquise Diamond Solitaire $350 2 CONVENIENT WAYS TO CHARGE: Custom Charge Revolving Charge EMSEST JEWELERS 3675 Wall Ave. 2431 Wash. Blvd. Illustrations enlarged Dear Counseling Service, My problem is that I'm overly scared of boys - men - the opposite sex. I can't seem to overcome this. Because of this, I haven't had one date. I'm now 21. It really depresses me. It started when I moved to S.L. in 1962. I was 12. The first year of Junior High was the beginning. I was an outsider - in other words, non-mormon. I was made fun of by the boys. I just passed it off. But it hurt inside. For two years it continued. Then I went to Idaho. Things were better, but there was are a few ways to save money. First, don't go shopping on a empty stomach (which is a bit difficult since you haven't eaten, if you've followed this guide at all). Keep in mind your meal plans as you shop not your own meal plans, but the meal plans of your friends with whom you will spend most of your meal-time at their place. Also, you save money when you buy the super market's own brands. Nothing's wrong with Brand X and, God Knows, it's certainly been well advertised. Trading stamps are another waste. Who needs a genuine papier mache replica of a Black Forest Cuckoo Clock or a complete set of plastic dishes, service for eighteen. When shopping, buy the economical, institutional-size of cans - the kind that feeds an entire day camp for two weeks, serves all the relatives at a Bar Mitzvah, or all our boys overseas. Mary and Jack have been supping from the same can of creamed onions for four months now. No one's talked to them for three. Some students are firm believers in Comparison Shopping to save money. A girl I know shopped around for two weeks looking for the lowest prices in milk and eggs. She was found on the floor of the produce section of her local A & P, a victim of protein deficiency. But a word of caution: be careful. Starving may be hazardous to your health and you could end up in the college infirmary.If you're lucky. The meals there aren't great, but they're substantial. And free. But if you're really sick, they'll feed you intravenously. Which is, incidentally, another economical way of saving money on food. always some boy that would say some cutting remark. I wouldn't show how it hurt so I kept it inside. Then in 1967 I went back to S.L. By this time (senior year) I could hardly look at a guy. Talking to them was practically impossible. College the next year. It was bad. This fear was mounting. During the year boys would direct a cruel cut about my looks. I used to cry. When I was in junior high, I used to divise ways to kill myself but was too chicken to do it. That first year I tried with sleeping pills but they didn't work. Last summer I worked at Yellowstone. Big things happened. I met some girls that gave me confidence! I started to talk to the guys that I worked with. It's a start. But when I came back to college it was pretty much like before. There is always that one that cuts. I don't think I can take too much more. I try and look as good as I can. But I'm still in need of some companionship. I want it. Why can't some guy notice me for myself? I need some advice. It is extremely hard for me to talk to them. Please answer. The Shy One Dear Shy One, An attempt was made by the counseling staff to answer this letter but we found this type of problem so complexing that it would take a great deal of answering in order to cover it completely. After writing for sometime, it was felt that a special article should be run covering this type of situation and second, that until the mentioned article is written, it would be highly advisable for Miss Shy One to contact one of the counselors to help her work through the particular problem. GoGf bight by Paul So you want to run for a student government office, eh? Let me outline some of the necessary prerequisites that each candidate must have: 1. You must portray an image. There are two main images that are now popular the tight-eyed, permanent pressed conservative and the change-the-world, tie-dyed radical. They both come with stock accessories the conservative package consists of a styled hairdo (but no one should know you use hairspray), three Wheaties box tops, a Lawrence Burton button, black wing-tips, sharp "in" clothes with all the right labels, a smile like Wayne Hill's (the only way I can describe it), and graduating in Business with a minor in Institute. The radical package includes a free-style hairdo (no one should know you use hair-spray too), a Che Lives! button, penny loafers, Bleach-stained levi bell bottoms and an overworked hair shirt, a John Wayne dartboard, develop a loud, irritating voice like Bill Chyne's, and graduating in Political Science with a minor in Philosophy. 2. You must have a platform. This is an important point because, with the exception of Lindquist Student Body President, there are no real platforms or stands to take so you must make up your own. If you desire the conservative image you use words such as "service," "cooperation," and "Help make Weber great." The radical package holder should use words like "change," "old men in the administration," and "give more power to the students." 3. You must have clever advertising. This is also known as reaching the masses by coming down to communicate at their level. The conservative, not realizing that he is already at their level, usually sinks below the average intelligence with slogans and posters such as "Bill will," "Jones pulls no bones," and "Leon is the man for the Job." The radical panics and really underestimates the voters and sticks to one-word statements like "VOTE," "SMITH" and "HELP." This is your basic outline future candidates and will also help you voters to label your favorite candidates. If you have any questions, my mind will be its jar in Room 239 in the U.B. and my body will be with a beautiful girl (believe it KW) at Alta, I hope. DON'T EXPECT REPRESENTATIVE STUDENT GOVERNMENT IF YOU DON'T VOTE STUDENT ELECTIONS TODAY! |