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Show SIGNPOST Page 3 Sharmea Enters Four in Sigma s Beauty Contest May 1, 1959 Bonjour. The early morning practices still are groin;? on because our assembly is scheduled for May 15. Sylvia Claman, Donna Cook, Pat Berger and Deanna Nelson entered Sigma's bathing beauty contest, at our request. Good luck gals. The canyon party with Sigma was fun for all. Thanks men for a great evening out in the "wilds." Barb is still working on her old project. We are still wondering if she will make it to school next year. She may, but it will be under protest. Away we go Au revoir. Officers Chosen Congratulations to Phoenix's big winner Lynn Taylor, And the big loser, B. J. Hale. The talented men of Phoenix are thoroughtly enhanced with their big win, second place that is, in the talent show. Der Fuhrer will rise again. Lots have been cast for the new officers of Phoenix. Hold on, here are the results. President, Paul Halverson; vice-president, John Hale; secretary, Clark Olsen; treasurer, Dean Pen-rod.We hear that all the boys enjoyed their choice assembly. They seemed to have a lot of help from their Den Mother. The entire script can be found in the 'Cub Corner' latest issue of Boys Life. Plans are under way for the last chance dance, our sisters of L. D. have consented to share the glory. Suffering from "thrown" arms, strained backs, and lost class rings the Phoenix sluggers . went into their second round of I. M. soft-ball with an unquenchable spirit and thirst for a win. Remember boys, "Be Square". Sidney Gynt. Sadie's Coming If you have wondered why the O. T. gals have looked haggard, worn-out and been at our wits-end, its because this has been one h ... of a week for us. But winning the talent show and presenting an assembly was well worth all the early morning and late hour practices we had. If anyone was in the vicinity of Kent Green's Wednesday, you knew there was a party going on. For that's where O. T. and Sigma met to celebrate their winnings. We don't know about the neighbors but everyone else enjoyed themselves very much. You've never seen such a happy group. We would like to acknowledge all other clubs on campus for their fine productions at the talent show. The competition was really keen this year. Congratulations to the A. M. S. Fire Chief, Gene Kunz. Everyone keep May 8th in mind, for that's our "Sadie Hawkins Day." We are" planning a fun day for all, and hoping for the support of the student body. ANYTHING GOES No Time to Study? Use Microphone By Kathy Kittock A great disaster has hit our colleges!! Students are walking around campuses throughout the United States with worried looks on their faces. Why? The students do not have enough time to study. Some are failing. Others have quit. Dr. Zergingham of Velvin College has now done broad research on the situation and has developed help for the college loiterers. The technique is outlined in the following paragraphs. You need to read them with care. The first and foremost thing to do is to get a pocket size recording machine and attach the microphone to the professor's desk. If the instructor moves around much, you'll have to conceal the microphone on his clothing some way or other. Perhaps you could ask the professor to hold the microphone for you while you go to get your book. When you don't return to class, he will probably go on and teach the class without you. After class you can stop by his office and pick up your little microphone with his lecture all recorded for you. Play Back Lectures That night when you go to bed, hook up your little recording machine to play back the lectures you missed during the day because of the more important things you had to attend. Encourage one of your friends to sleep under your bed and play the recording machine for you. He might do it if you put an apple or a bag of potato chips under there for him occasionally. Don't give him too much, or he'll think that he is being taken advantage of. If you limit your supply of "goodies" he may well think that you are just being nice to let him come stay with you and listen to your recordings all night. Dr. Zergingham says that if you carry these techniques out to the letter the average college student will be very effective in his college work. For instance, while the college student is sleeping, if he is taking a class in the physical science department, he may well be mixing chemicals to the soothing voice of his instructor. Or, if he is taking a typing class he will be typewriting. Perhaps he will be doing both things at the same time. That's one thing about Dr. Zer-gingham's experiments: he never has gotten the same result twice so it is almost impossible to determine what the tired college student will be doing. Awake Rested In the morning, you may awake rested. This depends on various things, however. You will be amazed, though, at all that you have accomplished during the night. Your friend under the bed will probably be asleep, having had to stay up almost all night playing the recording machine. This will be to your advantage, however, and if it is quiet under your bed during the day time, you may be able to keep your friend under your bed until he is missed by his associates. If the average college student finds these techniques to work satisfactorily, we may be seeing more relaxed college students sitting carefree on the radiators. Students without the worries of how am I going to get time to dust under my bed or when, if ever, will I get that assignment in that was due February 3, 1908. Discovers Talents Studies have been suffering from them such as "East of the Sun", "West of the Moon", and "Japanese Festival" but it sure has been fun, fun, fun. Congrats are in order for OT and Sigma, great show kids. A fun time party came in the form of LD and Phoenix last week. We even discovered hidden talents. Margaret Anderson is a hop scotch pro; Larry Holstroni really has the theory on tic-tac-toe; Ned Arnold has an uncanny ability to find his way through a mass of chairs blind-folded; and Val Stratford just has the ability, period. Yummy pie a la mode led the way to a terrific night of dancing. We were a little under OT's number of bathing beauty contestants, but maybe quality does make up for quantity in some cases. The present members of LD want to announce and welcome some new members. MeriDee Upp is a darling little gal that hits the stick about five feet and always has a cheery hello. Judy Vanzweeden with her lovely blond locks is sure to help us on the man attraction bit. IF SWIFT PROGRESS YOU WANT lOMAKE, GWB OF YOURSELF MORS THAN YOU TA. 11 f II II OM . an Pauline Morely has a bad habit of breaking bones, but she is bound to be an asset to club. Elaine West is our newest member and we surely are glad to have her. Ecels Shows Films Top event on the Excels calendar last week was the stag at the Sheriff's Posse after the talent show. Ron Parker of Sigma showed his version of the Kansas trip, his films were supplemented by slides of celebrities involving "Cheeks" Gibson, and "Body" Had-ley.New officers of Excels have been chosen! Ath. Mngr. is Brent Palmer, Sgt. At Arms, Brent Hancock; Treas., Bob Waldron; Sec, Steve Smith; Veep, Brent Gibson, and Pres., Lawrence German. Congratulations to the Sigs and OT, you had terrific talent shows. The squaws also shined last Friday with their top flight assembly. It is one of the best events to hit Weber this year. 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