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Show Page 4 THE SIGNPOST Chatlie HcrJe by Ted Collins Now that you have, sobered up from the shock of your report cards, we cap settle down once again to a bit of ever enlightening education. Among the many events that occurred during tne gala holidays was a vivid knee-knocking contest between A. C. and Weber. Our boys put up a swell fight but the A. C. boys had a little more or a little less Christmas cheer and managed to trample lightly over our Wildcats. The score was so high for both teams that my meager memory fails to recall such high figures. Speaking of figures have you seen . . . this is a sport column, however. To proceed then, Founders' Day Drought forth an hour of ball-pitching when our boys tangled with the New Carbon college team. The opposition was certainly burned up at their minute score. They were indeed Carbon when our boys finished leading them around the court. It was a fairly good game and enjoyed by all thirty-two spectators.One of the outstanding events of the holiday season was the second game of Weber's faculty basketball team. The papa Tigers are rocketing their way to success, having put down all teams met (three of them). The team centers its playing around one Orlo Childs. Childs with his amazing knowledge of the earth is able to reach from the litho-sphere into the atmosphere and gently drop the ball through the hoop. C. "Bunc h" Nilsson amazes all spectators by tearing down the floor, suddenly uniolding like a jack knife, and sending the ball tearing for the hoop for a goal. W. Baddley put fire into an already hot contest when he did a rhumba on the toes of the spectators Nice footwork, Wally. He also got tied up in the net, was slugged over the brow, and made baskets. Swenson is rough but sure. Losee is sure but rough. Davis is sure. Trevithick is rough. Markham is sure rough. They're in the commercial league too, you know. Score 45-46, faculty. More power to these papa Wildcats.Swimming Weber aquatic stars are paddling themselves to new lengths. Byrne Fernelius, who I am told is star back stroker of the swimming team, said the boys are destined to go places this year. These water-soaked scholars have spent so much time in the water, two of them are developing fins. Clayton would no doubt break, all. records, but he says he can't swim very fast with his glasses on. I haven't time to tell you all the members of the team. If you're interested, drop into the pool some day at three and watch these boys churn the water. However, if you are afraid of moisture, these photogenic fish appeared in the last Sunday Standard-Examiner. I know it will be a let-down to read the Standard after digesting the articles in Signpost, the literary jewel of the decade, but be loyal; they have been good to us. These Webfoots threw a brawl last Monday. After a delightful swim, the boys and their partners spent a few hours eating at the most exclusive place in town. Naturally water was the only drink served. Faculty Boasts Strong Quintet "Nine old men" are becoming famous again, only this is not Washington but Weber college; and these are not the supreme court judges but some of the faculty members of our school. They are not so well known, in this instance, for their intellectual prowess as for their ability on the waxed floor to defeat rival quintets at basketball. These educated athletic heroes are Mr. Nilsson, Mr. Childs. Mr. Davis, Mr. Losee, Mr. Baddley, Mr. Swenson, Mr. Markham, and Mr. Trevithick. They are ably assisted by the rooting of Mr. Allred. These string-swishers beat Phoenix a while ago in an intramural game and figured this such an accomplishment that they joined the second half of the Commercial league. They started out with a bang that was Swimming Team Out For Championship Weber has an ambitious schedule for swimming this year. In addition to handling the regular swimming meets, Coach Lossee has brought the Junior A. A. U. championship meet for February 15-16. This will be the first time that this meet has been held outside of Salt Lake City. The outstanding swimmers of the in-termountain region will compete in the meet. Only three veterans remain from last year's championship team, Fernelius, Foulger and Leavitt. Fernelius and Leavitt have been showing promise but illness has prevented Foulger from regaining his last year's form. Byrne Fernelius, crawl stroke artist of last year, took a whirl at the backstroke this season. He has come along so fast that his rating is nine seconds below the state record for the 100 yard backstroke. Perry Leavitt is sure of points in the distance races. He tied for first place last year in the Junior A. A. U. championship meet and has consistently bettered the record for the 220 yard free style. With the exception of these veterans, Lossee's material is green and inexperienced. If ,'chese rough diamonds of the vvater can get a rapid polish, Weber will have another contender for the championship. Weber's schedule for the first time will include senior colleges, Utah Agricultural college, and University of Utah. Schedule of Meets January 11 Bear River at Weber; January 19 Weber at Granite; January 25 Logan at Weber; February 1 Weber at Box Elder; February 15 Weber at Bear River; February 23 Granite at Weber; March 1 vVeber at Logan; March 8 Box Elder at Weber. Weber Swimmers Milton Berglund, diving and crawl; Don Campbell, crawl; Norman Chatfield, crawl; Wayne Christensen, crawl; Roy Clark, diving and crawl; Emmett Clayton, crawl and backstroke; Noble De Hart, breaststroke; Byrne Fernelius, backstroke and crawl; Pearry Leavitt, crawl and dis-stance; Welling MacFarlane, breaststroke; Wilford Smeding, jrawl; Glen Stamos, crawl; Bill Taylor, crawl; David Wynn, crawl; Grant Foulger, breast-stroke; Wendell Hansen, backstroke and diving. heard 'round the world by beating the winners of the first half C. L. competition, the appropriately named American Pack Flams' 46 to 45. In this game the stars were Mr. Childs, Mr. Davis, and Mr. Baddley. Mr. Baddley also had the distinction of being the hard-luck player of the game. He started off by getting caught in the net between courts and ended up by bleeding like a stuck pig. So well does the team function that his services were not missed until the floor qot slick from blood and his plight was noticed. According to an unimpeachable source, Mr. C. M. Nilsson, there is a key to their success they simply need an audience before they are at their best. The larger the audience, the larger the score. On Thursday last they beat the Lettermen 27 to 13 in a game spiced by rough and ready playing on both sides. The faculty won because of rebellion and revolution in the Lettermen ranks. So good is the team functioning that there are rumors to the effect that the wrong team is representing Weber college on the court. Better stifle these or there will be "Nine Old Men at the Crossroads." Ladies We have Gym Suits for You Men Let us Supply Your Shop Jumpers The College Book Store Remember! QUALITY PAYS Weber Plays Westminster Tonight j if t V J f) ) jrj I ' , t " ' r TT-r- ' . I f , . p'WMMi vf 4 V I ''v'-i J i'-I.. f. - j nv I tv - k - - . Phil Kevell, Weber, making- basket in Carbon-Weber preseason game, January 6 Photo by Ted Collins New Intramural Manager Chosen Heading the intramural council for the remainder of the year is Mutt Wright, whose appointment as manager was announced Wednesday. The council consists of Manager Wright, Director Ferron Lossee, Secretary Darrel Dies, and managers of individual clubs. To the club or organization making the most points during the year, the all-around award, a silver loving cup, will be given. The best individual athlete will receive a gold medal. At the present time, the letter-men are in first place, with Excelsior second and the Engineers third. Basketball is being played now; ping-pong will begin next week. The faculty, leading the A league, is undefeated. In the B league Excelsior has yet to meet a 'oss. Hairy Apes Will Race Beard growing contest is here. Something has finally been done to give the males a chance to show what "he-men" they are. The neanderthals you've seen running around are only advance advertisements of this big feat. Entries will be accepted Monday, January 16, at noon. Contestants start from scratch. They will be inspected and anyone found having a beard longer than one, one-hundred andtwenty-eighth of an inch long will be publicly shaved. Participants will be allowed two weeks to build up a good growth. The contest ends January 27. And the man having the best length, fullness, originality, and design of beard will be declared winner. The prize will relieve him of future razor worries. It is an electric shaver. Walk a Block and Get Quality Watch Repairing GEO. F. VAUGHN JEWELER 822 25th St. Ogden, Utah - - Hot Casaba Contest (Continued from Page 1) bly flunk your first exam. Then you must flunk all following exams also, because teachers, as all abnormal people, receive strong first impressions. Now it would make the prof feel distinctly inferior if his first impression of you were wrong. Surely you wouldn't want him to get the idea his thinking abilities are on the wane, would you? Or would you? If you did this, he would give you a "D," so you might just as well take it easy, flunk all your tests, and get your just desserts. And as Joe Louis says, "It's always darkest before the exam" ("and after," Robert Darling ignobly adds.) Rule IV A good idea is to walk out in the middle of class about three times a week. This is certain to give the teacher the impression that you are a person of affairs. "When duty calls," you know . . . Don't make it more than three times a week, however, for, to quote the ' 1908 Acorn, "Absence makes the mark grow rounder." Rule V Sorry, but this rule has just proved ineffective, so we strict it from the records. Rule VI Keep your eye constantly glued to your watch and call time at regular intervals. The teacher will note your apparent interest. He must realize that "Time untied is worth two in the bush." Rule VII Never laugh" at the prof's jokes. He will consider you above the common frivolities of FOR YOUR BETTER CANDIES At DOKOS i- ESTABLISHED 1870 On,tn. 5lnh PUBLISHING COMPANY A. L. GLASMANN, Editor and General Manager Frank Francis, Associate Editor, Leonard G. Diehl, Associate General Manager AN INDEPENDENT NEWSPAPER Read the Standard-Examiner THE NEWSPAPER WHICH SUPPORTS WEBER COLLEGE Predicted for Opener Hot Casaba contest predicted for tonight. Westminster confident of victory.Westminster will arrive from the south one hundred per cent strong to strive for revenge for last year's defeat. Preseason scouting shows that Westminster is fully confident of a humiliating victory over Weber. Everyone at Westminster is already gloating over what they intend to do to Weber now the famed quintet of last year have graduated. "Weber should have a fine season this year," stated Mr. Swenson, basketball coach. "I was gratified to see the showing that our boys made last week, but the game tonight will show exactly what kind of playing we may expect from our boys." Strangely enough those were the very same words that Mr. Swenson used last year. But before the basketball season was over, Weber was feared by every team they met up against. Winning the "Jaysee" title, making a fine showing at the state A. A. U. meet at Salt Lake City, then going on to Denver for the regional A. A. U., proved Weber to be one of the finest basketball machines in the state. Most of last year's team was graduated, and Mr. Swenson wondered what he was to do for a good team. But the good material came along, and under the careful supervision of Mr. Swenson, Weber should again be a "Jaysee" threat. life and on a higher plain than the other students. But by all means, if vou know any good cracks, never refrain from breaking into the teacher's conversation with them. He will appreciate it no end. (End a little Childs shall lead them" Shakespeare and the Geology students). Rule VIII If everything else fails, as it undoubtedly will (quiet, conscience) the most effective way to polish apples is this: Buy a bushel of them, crabs preferred, as they suit the purpose better, and a pound of shortening. Using mother's best lace-trimmed doily, apply shortening to crabs and shine briskly. And, as Aunt Jennie says, "If at first you don't succeed, Spry, Spry again." Note to teachers: Please brae in mind, that we do not speak from experience. This information was acquired only through long years of research and observation.At thirty man suspects himself a fool. Knows it at forty and resolves to change his plan. At fifty chides himself for his infamous delay, resolves and re-resolves, then dies the same. Edward Young |