Show AN ANCIENT ONE M hamella the police magistrate ot paris was the victim ot a venerable practical joke on april 1 it began in the early morning with the arrival at his residence in the avenue martin of beveral carta ol 01 coal followed by a continuous procession all day of other vehicles colv eying similarly unordered goods five pianos jars of cod liver oil hams aln cral waters and vegetables while among the visitors whose services were supposed to be required were an embalmer a masseur an under taker and half a dozen pedicures cures al together vehicles drove up to the house in the course of the day amid the confusion SL hamelen went quiet ly to preside as usual at the police court london dally news particular about the butter ma wants two pounds of butter ex acely like what you sent us last if it aint exactly like that ebe wont take it said the small boy the grocer turned to his numerous customers and remarked blandly some people in my business don t like particular customers but I 1 do its my delight to serve them and get them what they want I 1 will attend to you in a moment little boy jae sure to get the same kind said the boy 1 I lot of pas relations Is visiting at our bouse and ma doean doesn t want cm to come again no reason at all he the major is going to ba mar aled again she why when his wife died he said that the light of bis life had gone out lie there s no reason why he strike another match is there startling tes our table Is always up to date boasted the landlady we have those beautiful red candles on it at supper time candles tor supper gasped the prospective boarder madam do vou think I 1 am an eskimo SAGE ADVICE johnny the boss said that you would pay this little bill today to day mr hunks you austn t believe all people tell you for titles count benl a coming here to hunt financed no doubt by money sharks and he will find as he once found that heiresses are easy marks getting ready for the opera aren t you ready dear he called upstairs not quite was the cifes reply it ought not to take you so long to put your hat on im not going to wear any hat well it ought not to take you so long not to put one on yonkers statesman from different viewpoints anxious mother I 1 cannot permit you to have such late callers it was after 11 0 clock when mr left last night pretty daughter why mamma I 1 don t see how you can class mr hug gins as a late caller it was only 7 30 he came A wasted evening first music critic I 1 wasted a whole evening by going to that new pianists concert last night second Critic Why first music critic his playing was above criticisms Judge As amended his alfe charity covers a tude of sins they say her husband yes it certainly does especially when it begins at home the RUM that affied tompkins had just dropped a halt penny in front ot the blind abger to see if he would pick it up beggar make it sixpence guvnor an forget still planting church did yoa have any relatives in the revolutionary war gotham I 1 dont know but ive got two courina in the D A IL war the tet at bu u bany ltee as a ah but bow abny diab ean she hoar GROWING UP WITH THE TOWN so you ha e grown tip with the town but the town which was little la great t possesses a world wide renown they haie written success 0 er iti kate the town which was once so obscure has a worth that la splendid and sure the town has prosperous look it appeals to alie stranger atar it occupies no little nook where wrecked are As fair as a realized dream the town Is awake and supreme so you have grown up with the towar but the town which waa narrow Is broad it haa not been content to bit down depending on chance or on god its challenge though stunned or a space it flings in catastrophes ace S E alser MEAN insinuation kind Lady You say you need help but will your character stand hinves tl gatlon dusty Dodge work say lady you talk as if I 1 auz a politician but wants it good clouston ll be glad to own she only needs one telephone A hand excuse me sir said the clerk as be entered the private office of the boss but having grown gray in your service dont you think I 1 ought to have something added to my salary 1 I do answered the boss as he reached into his pocket and drew forth a silver dollar take this and get yourself a bottle of hair dye deliberate insult mrs that measly old bachelor uncle of yours was here today and be deliberately insulted us all insulted us why what did he do or say mrs why he took the baby on hs knee and said poor lit tie chap he may grow up and become vice president some day killing time musical comedy manager how long Is the now author weve stretched it out as much as we can but it la still about an hour less than standard length manager well dash off a topic song about broadway with a dobzen or so encores puck one view of it pa well what Is conscience A thing that we always belleba belleva ought to trouble the other fellow encouraged I 1 never could stand it he said to live with a woman who was jealous of me don t borrow trouble she replied nature has done her best to make you immune from that kind of un pleasantness nes the old sign now put awa tha hose oh put them all away Foy barber poles are out of style in boston so they say A slight jolt As tor me remarked young I 1 don t believe in the high er education for girls the one 1 marry won t know latin or greek I 1 can readily believe that re joined miss A girt jhc knows anything at all marry you hed help caller I 1 am for the poets hospital will you contribute anything koltor with plew nire call to bight with the ambulance and I 1 will have mime poets ready judge atoa amma I 1 love well abow you are down oa your knees you may as well tie ray ebee lacea |