Show war T tw r f T 1 vl t t M W vt ms IT PAYS when the dimpled baby a hungry what does the baby do it doean doesn t lie serenely and merely sweetly coo the hungry baby bellows with all it little might till some one gives it something to curb its appetite the infant with the bottle which stills its fretful tries A lesson plainly teaches it pays to advertise rhe lamb lost on the hillside when darkness closes round stands not in silence trembling and waiting to be found its plaintive bleating echoes across the vales and meads until the shepherd hears it and hearing kindly heeds and when its ears are ended as on his breast it lies the lamb has made this patent it pays to advertise the fair and gentle maiden who loves the bashful boy assumes when in his presence a manner that Is coy sho blushes and she trembles till he perceives at last and clasps her closely to him and gladly holds her fast and as he bends to kiss her and she serenely sighs this fact Is demonstrated it pays to advertise S E alser in chicago herald they say this occurred well children beamed the sunday school superintendent what shall I 1 talk to you about this morning come come I 1 want you t loose what you want to hear about any little boy or girl here suggest something what shall I 1 speak about A long silence then a boy in the back row ventures what dyer know about cleveland leader accommodating earlle ma can t I 1 go to the circus and seo the wild man his ma no child but do the best I 1 can for you iron all the button boles out of your fathers shirts bobby was curious little bobby was leaning over the bridge gazing down into the clear wa of the lake oh pa he exclaimed suddenly what kind of elsh are those swimming over therea my son replied his father that Is a school of german carp obby was thoughtful A school pa and do they have german lessons chicago dally news her leisure hours I 1 would like to see some novels said the pretty stenographer in the book store yes miss replied the polite clerk here are the novels of the day but er haven t you any novels of the night that Is the only time I 1 have to read chicago dally news baking NO CHANCES evelyn dont you think harold that june Is a common month to get married in almost all the weddings take place that month harold well the matter with july then evelyn no N o let s make it the awen aleth easy order to fill dealer dogs yes we have all the finest breeds sir any number of prize customer oh I 1 dont want any of the costly breeds I 1 want a common dog a regular street cur something that will be a nuisance to the neighbors dealer urn well they 11 all be that new york weekly relationship in south dakota I 1 notice she bowed to yon Is she an old acquaintance ayes were slightly acquainted in fact she s a port of distant relation she was tha first wife of my second altes first husband chicago trib une traditions the traveler entered the woods ol 01 georgia with the traditions of tha locality strong upon him A close shave he exclaimed when some hogs bad chased him up a convenient sycamore tor be thought of them as razor backs imagine his astonishment when he saw none of the beasts stropping themselves against the trees we are modern safety razor backs explained the swine divining his thought and require no stropping or honing it was with a saddening sense of the mutability of things that he at length came away from those regions of song and story puck A JOKE Ya levard what makes you think that the pitcher on our team Is an aeronaut miss brinmore why I 1 heard somebody say that he was forever going up la the air finesse mr called up bis wife by telephone arabella he said id like to bring a friend home to dine with us this evening have you something good jason she sald you told me you were going to bring a friend to take dinner with us and I 1 ve laid myself out to get a good meal where Is he arabella answered mr I 1 said id like to bring a friend I 1 find any to bring it dinner Is ready let s eat I 1 m hungry achl cago tribune HOW PAT KNEW postmaster no bad n pat pat och brothers dead I 1 d know his hand whitin in a thou sand tit for tat deuced bore that fellow Is he al ways talks for about an hour about that baby of his doean doesn t he never to me always leaves in about alv minutes gee how do you work it I 1 dunno I 1 always read him a little of my poetry and cleveland leader stopped a runaway patience she topped a runaway once patrace she be brave drave why to stop a runaway oh I 1 mean a fellow wanted her to elope and sno wouldn t do it ers statesman hereditary TAINT cholly I 1 suppose you inherited houi taste for baseball johnny sure dal Is a highball fiend and pia ea s she was de belle of the ball beitf she was married |