| Show v t I 1 AN EARLY TEST it was close to midnight and al though she had dawned yawned a dozen times during the past halt hour he stayed on and tried to get up enough nervo to test his fate As the clock struck 12 he took a long breath and reached tor her hand and said atsa bluntly maude ever since I 1 met you at the picnic last summer I 1 have been madly in love with you Is that so she replied stifling a yawn and looking anxiously at the clock yes maude will you marry me say that you 11 be mine and make me the happiest man in the world why er we haven t known each other very long she said as she con linued to watch the clock long enough tor me to know that you are the only girl I 1 could ever love say the word and III do anything anything you may ask you will asked the girl begin ning to show some interest in the mat ter for the first time I 1 will maude anything I 1 may ask anything no matter what I 1 d leap into a den of lions tor you id throw myself into the raging sea or leap from a balloon were you to ask it will you put me to the test dear yes harold she said as she re turned the pressure of his hand and uttered a deep sigh of relief I 1 prom ise to be yours and now please get your hat and make tracks for home I 1 ye got to get up at five tomorrow morning and help mother with the ironing lewis in judge WONDERS OF MODERN SCIENCE doctor I 1 have swallowed a stone yes I 1 have discovered it inside you it Is impossible to extract it but it you like with the aid of radium I 1 can transform it into a superb ame ghyst bon vivant the big find how does it happen that brown Is treating everybody in eighth why you see years ago be presented his wife with a little toy bank in which the children could keep their pennies I 1 see and now he finds himself the head of a frugal industrious fam lly no now he finds the bank puck managers idea I 1 idon think a person appreciates a thing when he gets it tor nothing said the man with the cane you re right replied the theatrical manager just look at those critics bow they re roasting my show yonkers statesman A MYSTERY EXPLAINED my wife and I 1 never have a discus slon before the children it I 1 see a quarrel coming on I 1 always send them out 1 I thought I 1 had seen them in the street very often nobility have you noticed the suits of armor which wo have in the ball asked mrs gottie lately yes replied her neighbor where did you get them they were all handed down to us every one of them was worn by my ancestors or my husband s in the revolutionary war chicago record herald ever notice it 1 church do you think women have a sense of humor gotham no I 1 don t don t think a woman can get off anything funny I 1 dian didn t eay that ive seen cm get oft a street car funny yonkers statesman thankful I 1 hope your constituents are grateful to you tor what you have done for them 1 I hope so answered senator sorghum but I 1 must confess I 1 am thankful for the arrangement which makes compensation for my independent of the gratitude ot my constituents washington star ONLY FIFTY PER CENT it I 1 were only halt as pretty as fraulein mathalde but you are fraulein you impertinent thing beggen meggen dorter beaetter Bla etter different I 1 understand you have been telling mrs nix a story said the mother to her eight year old daughter yes mamma I 1 did replied the child but don t you know that Is very naughty my dear no mamma I 1 dont think it was but it la very naughty but mamma she asked me bow old you were and I 1 know you dian didn t want me to tell her the truth yonkers statesman unaccustomed splendor 1 I see that you know bow to enjoy your money old time friend yes answered mr cumrow im doing pretty well I 1 dont miss home cooking near as much as I 1 used to and am getting so I 1 can walk into my own house without feeling as it I 1 ought to walk up to a desk and reg ister washington star FOR A CHANGE barber insinuatingly your half wants cutting badly sir patron that a the way you cut it the last time cut it nicely thia time progress brains don t count for as much as influence said the cynic and influx ence doean doesn t count for as much as money my dear sir answered the sadly practical person you disregard the fact that it takes brains to get influx ence and influence to get money washington star premature allger eloped with his cook the unfeeling wretch well I 1 don t know why t he it he wanted to but his wife was just going to give a dinner party life A DESERVING CASE lie dont you think darling that out ot respect tor your dead husband we ought to wait a year before we are married the widow but dont you think dear we should have the usual allow ance tor bood behavior |
