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Show I II I i- i iI.Phillipr Qy - Qyl.Phillipr I.Phillipr IPhillipr l.Phillipr lPhillipr I.PhilliprLUKE l.PhillipreNU . eNU b . . . . LUKE LUlIE LURE : TWITCireLL TWITCHELL ON ONINDUCTION ONINDUCTION ONINDUCTION ONINDUCTIONDear INDUCTION INDUCTIONDear INDUCTIONDear the thearmy thearmy th tharmy Dear Elmer Well I 1 am In army . , but I won t be much help to toIt toit tcIt It tor for a long Ions time Urn * on account of being beingan beingall belniiall an all worn out by the tb physical examl examlnation examlnation examination nation I had bad an idea it was Wal easy to toset toget tcget set get ; into a war today but I find nd fled It Is Isalmost isalmost lialmost almost impossible impossiblo I can t make mak out outyet outyet outy yet t whether I was being examined examinedfor examinedfor examinedor for ( the tb * army 8rD17 or for tor a Mister Amer Amertca AmerIca Amerlea tca Ica contest cODtesL . e . . Uy My great-great-grandfather great grandfather p-eat.ifI'eat-randfather peat.ifIeatrandfather p eat.ifI'eat eatifIeat randfather - . - - ' - - , foiifhtat fought foughtat foughtat at Bunker Bun.lter Bunlter . Hill Bill BIB when wben he had fiat Oat fiatfeet Oatfeet flatfeet feet , , a . complete completo act set pet of ot fa false fal Ise teeth teethand teethand teethaad and One On * glass alass eye ye . . Always 1 I have haveI havethe havethe havetha I the Idea ld a that what counts Is how a aman aman aman man can fight ft8ht and not what shape shapehis shapehis shapehis I shapeI his teeth are ar * in or whether he has hasfhad hashad hssbad fhad had bl hia his . tohslla ton.n tonn toughs . . out , but do I learn learnI learndUlerenti learndifferent leamdifferenti dUlerenti different ! I . C . s . Eva Even when I was examined for forIUe forlife tolife IUe life . Insurance m.urance murance It wasn't wasnt ' so tough toughFive toughFive toughFive Five times time * . I try to explain to thedoctors the thedoctor thdoctors doctor doctors . getting lJettInJ into the th * army wasn wssn wasnmy t tD17 tmy D17 my Idea td a anyhow , and that I showed showedup showedup showeup up kcaus because * * UncI Uncle * Sam Invited me meand meand mand * and why treat ma me like llk * I waa was trylng trying trylngto tryingto tryinto to put something .omethlng omethlng . over ? What was wasdrafted 1 I 1drafted Idrafted drafted for anyhow a war or orscreen a ascreen ascreen screen test ? . . . What gets me Is the way they go goover goover over my teeth Say ain aln air t it enoufhI enoughI enough I should lick Uck Hit HitN Hitt HitL < t * . * 9 o Sit ier ler without wifhout being beinge beingexpected beingexpected e expected to eat eatr eatbim eatbimT him bim ? They poke pokearound pokearound pokaround * N r around my uppens up up- uppeps uppers - - pers peps pens and lowers lowerslike lowerslike lowerslike like they suspect suspect- suspected suspected suspected - - ed I was usingsomebody usingsomebody using somebody else els * a . , ateeth teeth and they find tlnd troubl trouble * I didn dldn teven teven t . even yen know I had with cm em . . If It mytth my myteeth myteeth I teeth * * don t give me m * no trouble why whyIbould whyshould whyshould Ibould should they worry woIT7 the United Unl\ed Unl ed \ States Statesarmy Statesarmy Statesarmy army in a time llke like lik * this ? I will willJay willlay willlay Jay lay you two to one on * that Napoleon I a ItHth ateeth steth tHth teeth * were wer * punkeroo and I think I Iread Iread Iread read a piece plec * once one * wha what t said Julius JuliusCaesar JuliusCaesar JuliusCaesar Caesar , Georg George Washington U S SGrant SGrant SGrant Grant and most of o1 the Green Moun Mountaln Mounthin Mountain taln thin boys didn t see their dentists dentiststwice dentiststwice dentiststwica twice a year eitherThey either eitherThey . . . They go over my eyes too Uke like Ukethey likethey likethey they thought they was examining examininga examlnin ( a . guy ifUY who was wasmaking wasmaking wasmaking making an a appil appilq appilcation appllcation ppU ppUcation q " cation to become becomea t i , a watch Inspector inspece inspector Inspec 'tor tor ' e tor I hav have beenwear been Jt " ; wear wearing inS glassesfor glassesfor glasses glassestor tor for a coupl couple * ofyearl ofyears of ofyaars yaars yearl years and I don tbave thave t . bave have bav * no DO troublegetting troubl trouble troublesettlns * getting settlns & around &round round in civilian clothes sowhat sowhat so sowhat what makes cm em so worried I won tbe tbe t tba ba be abl able * to recognize an enem- enem enemarmy - army armywb armywhen armywhen when wb n I see se * It it ? ? . . . All AU my life I hav bave have no complaints complaintsabout complaintsabout complaintsabout about my ears * * rs but these fellows at atthe attb the * Induction ino look lookem lookem em : over : : : make maketests : tests and shake shaketheir shakethair .F F . ; ) their beads headl tends as iftby if It ift Itthey I t , they * thought theywere they theywere _ were the kind of ofe.ars ofears ofcars e.ars ears . that MIGHT MIGHTwear MIGHTwear MIGHTwear wear out too ear early early early ly In life Ute When I Ithink Ithink Ithink think it is all over they go over overmy overmy overmy my fef feet feet * , , which are ar * in swell sweU shape shapelike shapelike sbapalike like most Americans Amerkans on account no nobody nobody nobody body In this country uses wes feet any anymore anymore anyrnor more * Everybody either drives an anauto anauto anauto auto or la is a hitch hiker ' Their 'lbeir lbeir teet feet teetare feetare feetare are good now but wait walt until they theyhave theyhave theyhav have been doing army U'ID UID ' ) ' patrol six sixmonths sixmonthsl aixmonths months monthsl 1 I monthslWell . . . Well Well , , . anyhow I barely get in on onaccount onaccount onaccount account I am six points short sbort of ofbeing ofbeing ofbeing being the Perfect Man and onca once had hadasthma hadasthma hadasthma hadasthmaYours asthma asthmaYours Yours for a war anybody can get getinto getinto getInto into intoLuke intoLuke -Luke Luke - LukeWOMEN Luke . . . WOMEN AND DEFENSEE DEFENgE DEFENSE ( E V McCwIlar McCoUam McCollum 01 of f .Johns Johns .JohnsOopklns . Jehasn JohnsHopkins Oopklns Hopkins * kfau told 1 I Ur the aeatlBc meeUnc meeting 1at that 1attbe thatthe thatlh tbe the * wmesi women of f America Amet'lca Ametlca ' conld could conldhelp couldhelp o kldhelsi help Is In Ute the tk * defense lefek * * procram program yregra by byseeln byseeing ayscelBf seeln seeing & ' that taieir their Beaflks menfolka menfolks I'otproper gotproper ' get I'ot Iot got getr proper r per food foodNews f * -News News - New Item ) Ladles Ladies would you help defense defenseWould ? Would you make your countrystT countrystrc country countrystn stn stT strc ( nger ngerr ngerrFeed nger7Feed ' Feed your mentolks menfolks with more morecare morecare mor care-- care care- careDo careDo care - - Do not serve that bash hash much muchlonger muchlonger muchlongcrl muchlongcrlDo longer IDo I Do you want our coastline safe safeFrom safeFrom safeFrom From the th * batterings batterlngs of at Dover DoverHave ? Have a heart and do not chirpHoney cl1.Irp cl1Irp chirp cl1.IrpHone chirpHoney . Hone Honey , . this was Just left overAre over overAr Are Ar * you tor for preparedness ? ? Do you want the future sunny sunnyCut ? Cut that old Une line Sorry Som , , . butWe butWe but butWe We re Just jwt having havlnif cold cuts cutsboneyl cutshoney cuthoney * boneyl honey 1 ) . . . In this thia business of leasing lea.ing leaing . war warsupplies warsupplies warsupplies supplies to England Enlfland Elmer TwltcheU Twitchell Twitchellhopes TwltcheUhopes Twitchellhopes hopes we don t wind up with wlth noth nothlng nothIng nothIng lng Ing but a 8 mortgage on a coupl couple * of ofsmoke ofsmoke ofsmoke smoke screens screens-Well screens Well . - . . . . Well nobody can say our defenseprogram defens- defens detens defense defens8IMILI3 - . prugram program hasn hasp t a lag to stard atand , on . . . . . 8IMILI3 SOULES 8IMILI3As SOULESAs BiMtLE As unconvlnclni unconvincing as a bald mllgl magi mllglclan magician m fi fiAs clan cian . . . . . As well w.U wU . . spaced .pac2d pac2d . aa as . a banquet menu menuMarUn menuMartin menuUartin MarUn Martin n Hagaway Ragtway _ wQ menuJ J |