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Show I.Phillipr IPhillipr I.PhilliprTIDE . TIDE THE LiriE LIFE Or OF MUSSOLINIMussolini MUSSOLINI MUBSOLINI MUSSOLINIMussolini Mussolini MussoHnl was onca once a tramp Now Nowhe Nos Noshe Ncnhe , he Is II twice a tramp Forty yean year yeanago yearago yearago ago he was thrown oft off oil a caboose In InSwitzerland ii iiSwitzerland iiSwitzerland Switzerland by railroad raUroad copper coppers * ; But Butthat Bu Buthat Buthat that time he be was able to get upHis up upHl HII His Hl father waa wsa was a village vUlage black blacksmith blacksmith blacksmith smith and Benlto Benito was bom born with a abellows 1 1bellows ibellows , bellows in bis bJ his mouth His Ills Hi * dad had hadbiceps hai haibiceps haibleep biceps * like Iron tron frost band bands * In his hi * arms armsbut arm armbut : ! i but Benlto Benito Ilenito had them In his hl throatPapa throat throatPapa . Papa Muaiollnl Mussol1n1 Mussolini shoed horses horaei horsesbut horaeibut horsaibut , but Benito waa was no help He lie would wouli wouldalways woulialways woulialways always try to talk a horse borse out of th tin the theIdea tinidea thIdea < , Idea it needed shoes hoe * and convince I Ithat It Itthat 1 that It would look better in paten patent patentlea patenleather patenleather lea leather ther bootsDenlto bootsBonito boota boots Benito Denlto Bonito was wa auppoaed supposed to shoo filethut flies filet fliesbut ( ) hut but he preferred to oitbuzz o.ltbuzz oltbuzz . themIIe themlie them themHe He IIe lie ne.er neer ne . ' . er cared tor for the anvil anvll or orttJrge oi oifurge 01forge ttJrge furge finding It impossible to talk tall talkInto tallInto tallinto Into an anvil or play recordings of ofhis o : ; his own voice in a forge So he quit quitI'op Pop I'op Iop ' whose front name was Alles Alies Allesandro Aliesandro andro also kept a saloon This Thisproves Thisproves proves there were always queci queer queerIdeas queciIdeas Ideas in the family farriily It is the onlyrecorded onllrecorded only onll recorded case where a blacksmith blacksmitF blacksmithnlternately blacksmitFalternately blacksmithalternately nlternately alternately cried Whoa I ! Back Backup Backupl Bachup up upl ! and What 11 II U you have ? with witi withno witino wittno no change or of voice vte vOie v vOieAll \te te \ : All this made the plett pictire ptctire re pretty prettyconfusing prettyconfusing prettyconfusing confusing in Benito a s 5 boy boyl boylood ! ood He lit Hewould litwould Hewould would often find a teamster s horse horsein horsein horsIn * in the barroom saying saymg I 11 II take a acigar acigar acigar cigar this time pop while theteamster theteamster the teamster was entering the blacksmIth blacksmith black blacksmith smith shop on all fours four * and demandIng demandlog demand Ing log drinks for everybody in thehouse thehouse the thehouse house houseNatives Natives love to tell about the timewhen timewhen time when pop put a brassra 1 in thesmithy thesmithy the amithy smithy tor for the horses to itand stand on anddrew anddrew and anddrew drew beer through a bellows In thetavern thetavern the tavern tavernYoung Young Benito Bonito ran awy away * to Switz Swltz Swltzerland Switzerland Switzeriand eriand erland He atarted started ( out Jut cut with a quarter quartot quar quarter ter tot No man ever went farther ontwobits ontwobits on ontwobits two-bits two bits - - - up to a recent Sunday afternoon afternoon after afternoon noon . . . He lie became a soapbox orator D scovering acovering s a covering that people were wore crazyenough crazyenough crazy crazyenough enough to thil thlr this k they knew wha what t hewas hewas he was talking a about bout he never stoppedtalking stoppedtalking stopped stoppedtalking talking He lIe became a newspaperpublisher newspaperpublisher newspaper publisher Benito ran his own oVYn picture pic pie pielure ture lure In the paper and the sheet went wentbig wentbig wentbig big because the public publlc always goes goesfor goesfor goesfor for funnieslie funnieslie funnies funniesHe He lie fought In the World war 1m im 1mproving improving 1mproving proving his diction by threatenmgsuperior threateningsuperior threatening threatenmg superior officers After the war he hecame heCame hecame came out with a program for savIng savIngItaly savingItaly savingItaly Italy through a austaining sustaming sustaining radio radto program program pro- pro program - - gram It was the only case up to tothat tothat tothat that time of a man being his own ownradio ownradio ownradio radio artist and sponsorKIng sponsorKing sponsor sponsorKing King Emmanuel thought it was a apremiere apremiere apremiere premiere for tor an American movie moviecomedy movieomedy moviecomedy comedy omedy and named Benlto Benito headman headmanbetore headmanlefore headmanbefore betore lefore he found tound It wasn Wfl t all in tun fun funIt funIt It It took him 21 year years * to correct the thenistake themistake themistakeFor mistake nistake mistakeFor nistakeFor For 21 years he be spoke only from fromhigh fromsigh fromhigh high sigh altitudea altitudes and announced himseLf hIm hImself himaelf self as a new Caesar with vitamins vitaminsand vitaminsmd vitaminand * and md icreeno screeno prizes thrown In Then Thenhe Thense Thenhe he se met Hitler II1t1er and everything wentlack went wentblack wentblack black lack And we don t t mean black blackshirt blackthirt blackshirt blackshirtIt shirt thirt shirtIt thirtit It Is now reported he Is thinkmg thinking thinkingof thinkmgof thinkingif of if go ng back to the combinatIon combinatIonblacksmith combinationdacksmith combinationblacksmith blacksmith dacksmith shop and saloon aloon It s a along aong along long ong time since the hometolk bometolks homefoiks * haveiOOfl have haveseen haveseen seen iOOfl a horsePRIVATE horse . . . PRJVATE PRIVATE m VATE PUnKET PURKEY ADOPTS . , ACODE ACODEDear A CODE CODEDear Dear D'ar Dar ( ' Mom-Well Mom Well Mom - - Well I am now with withmyoid withfly withmy myoid fly old Pal Moe ( Just say any them them1'1st themist themlist 1'1st 11st ' ist two word words * over and nd think thmk t tf cf f a acIty aity acity cIty ity in Sicily and it will wall give you a acue aue acue cue ue to where I am ) I can t come comerIgl comeigt comengl rIgl igt t out and say where I am so you youw youV youw w V 11 h hive . ve to get it from hints hmts L ke kewhen kevhen kewhen when vhen I wrote to tell Ann e to keeper keep keepher keepher her er big Trap closed it waa was a sort of ofcode ofode ofcode code ode to tell teIl you I 1 was In to a place placecalled placeailed placecalled called ailed Tr Tnpani Tripani TnpaniI TripaniI Ipanl IpanlI I guess we better agree on a cod code codeto to 0 kt-ep kt ep k.ep kep kiep ( . - track of me from now on It Itw ItV Itw be based the theIdea thelea theidea w V II 11 all have to on Idea lea that I will w\ll w ll \ be able to keep track trackot track'I trackof ot 'I I ' where I am m which is no easy easytr easyr easytr tr r ck on account of we get rushed rushedaround rushedround rushedaround around round so fast In this globule war waror wark 1- 1 - 1or or instance mom morn If I write wnte a lot lotabout lotbout lotabout about bout mess you will know I am In InMesslnl iniiessini inMessim Messim Messlnl iiessini and if I should wr te Ic a letter letterand letternd letterand and nd talk a lot ab ut lit sit an insurance insurancece insurancetmpany Insuranceccmpany ce mpany tmpany you will know I am near nearMt nearii nearMt Mt ii ! Aetna Aetha Catch on on7 on7I ' ? I am well and only had one close closecall closeall closecall call all in the invashun of Sicily This Thiswas Thisas Thiswas was as when I I took four prisoner prisoners * Atile A Alittle Alittle little tile later Idee I dec dcc ded dod to release them thembut themut thembut but ut they would not stand for Il it IlThey it'hey itThey They 'hey hey ' became very q l larrelsum sarrelsum andefused and andrefused andrefused refused efused to let me release them I Ihad Iad Ihad had ad to call tor for help I also had a alittle atIle alittle little tIle row in one town when the na nalives nalye nalives lives lye ; started abusing us u for tor arrlvmg arriving arrlvmgtoo arrivingtoo too 150 late They had wanted to give giveup giveID giveup It all allelralghtened alltraightened allstraightened up ID 48 hours sooner was elralghtened traightened out when we explained explainedour explainedur our ur watches was wall slowWell slowWell slow slowWell Well everything everythmg Is going gomg ftn fine I Ihope 1hope hope 000 you & tind &nd nd and dad are fineYour fineYour fine fineYour Your loving son on OscarWhen Oscar . . . When Japan meets flieets Its ultimate ultimaterum ultimateuin ultimateruin rum uin it can at least have the satls satis satlsfactIOn satisiction satisfaction factIOn iction of stamping it Made InJapan inapan in inJapan Japan apan apanOde . . . Ode to t a . Cow Cow"h Cowhe CowShe "h h " he deesn doesn dosn t I kick Jost inst j st once nee or r twl twice twicend twiceAnd And nd eveal evt'n evtn even ' that Is not t if so olre nice olreRut niceut Irenit Rut ut many timB times tim < -B B - her ber ciOVt"D ciOVtD cloven cl vr " rOot rOotInside rootslde fe tInsl Inside slde e rny my any milking pall pail ail Is put pui putShe puihe tShe She he Jorsa dOMiD dome t slop stop s ( - at that ob oh b DO no DOShe nohe She he ht"aves htaves heaves hr " TC at me a * iilghty mlgbty mighty blow blowAnd blowad blewAnd And ad hrai tht"n thtn then ( " qulu quite ultc . fdt-nly fdt nly suddf'nly suddfnly suddenly ' - 1 r K find findm andI findI I m sltUn sittiBg sitting 00 on my never mindBarbara mindBarbara mhr mind -Barbara Barbara - Barbara l ' I've Ive ? ' re Vf ' |