Show 4 4 4 40 FUNNY STORIES LOOKED SPOOKY on his way back from the Nati national onial dairy show charley blackman he popular ohio dairy extension man mam waa was amazed to find a black and tan shoe under bis his berth he immediately summoned the porter well dent dont dat beat all replied the dusky son of the so south as he scratched hie his fuzzy h head data de second time dis dia lawnin dat same thing has happened entomology little spokane 0 who had brought his school books home with him to do some studying waa stuck say mammy I 1 he inquired 1 I his mother hats a millennium bawd nab hab mercy honey exclaimed his fond mother ah never heard ob sich a thing ask yo ya poppy me bebe be he knows sho ah does bragged the head of the family its it s jes de same ez a centennial ter only its it get got mo lalas THIRD PRIZE PROOF A and a jew were brought up before a judge on a charge of drunkenness the judge to policeman what evidence have iou ou to prove that these men were drunk the policeman police nan you anor I 1 found the scotsman lying on his back in the middle of the road tossing taming hs bs money in the air and the jew catching it and it back to him MOSTLY MORE A girl no longer marries a man tor for better or worse orse ind ed no she marries him for more or lew husband arriving home late can t you guss gless gu ss a here I 1 ve been wife 1 I 1 can but tell your story what kind of a fellow ii U smith weil well if you ever see one fellow trying to borrow money from another the fellow shaking bis his head Is smith ONE LETTER MEINT MUCH th the doctor had hid for forgotten totten his patient a name but not willing to admit it said Is your name spelled with I 1 or e 7 the astonished patient ann why doctor my name Is hill 11 FAIR the house agent had just informed the prospective tenant that the owners would allow no children phonographs radio sets or dogs in his apartments well said the house hunter hurler we lavent aven t any of those things but 1 I ant to play fair fajr ith the landlord I 1 buess aesa you d beter tell him my fountain pen squeaks a bit A 1 Marris marriage ge Is like 9 mouse trap easy to get into hard to get out of and the hu hhand is the piece of cheese VOICE NOICE OF AUTHORITY A little girl as put in an upper berth of a pullman sleeping car for the first time she kept crying till her mother told her not to be afraid because god would watch over her mother you there she cried yes father ou there ye A fellow passenger lost all ce at this point and shouted were we re all here herel your father and mother and brothers and sisters and aunts ad uncle and cousins all here now go to sleep there was a pause then very softly mammal well was that god GO ivan a moscow pawnbroker fritz a german one and th tha had often done business together to their sur su prize they found themselves facing each other in the trenches on the eastern front one night in the small hours each swiped his regimental banner and C crawled out into no man mans s land they silently exchanged banners and crawled back to their respective poets posts unobserved next day each got a medal for capturing t an enemy flag I 1 he ile was as extricated from the ruin of his automobile and carried to the nearest doctors dector 3 office 1 I can do nothing for him salo the doctor 1 I I am ara a veterinary surgeon you re the man doc spoke up the victim 1 I am a jackass to think I 1 can run that machine mrs what makes mates these sar dies di dl es so high grocer they re imported mum mrs reilly III take the domestic ones them as had the brains to swim across to this country A VARIETY A census taker called at a farm house and a woman answered the door how many in your family I 1 fu irked ked the census taker five the woman peevishly me we the old man one kid a cow and a cat cal and the poli politics of your family inquired the enumerator mixed allied came the short reply 1 I im m a republican Republica 4 the old mans a democrat the kid s wet the cowa cows dry and the cats cat s a socialist Teacher What la Is the matter with your singing you are simply sareth ingi stude only hattin on one tonsil traffic officer to pretty girl motor I 1 what the idea you we me wave to coq P 0 M certainly I 1 did and it if rou try it apin 1 III report you yom |