| Show N uncle valte otora 0 i A C BALED MUSIC T 11 coin to to iw lie a great con JL ct cert rt fit it the tilt opera house tonight HUM tile retired merchant and if f hilll go niong ital with me tile ill puy ilay your auy an nul buy you it fac cents worth of lit im sure nothing could lie 1 nor liberal chati that 1 11 brouk break you youself rolf up in business it if you go around wonting your in fit that fashion faeh lon rw re piled the hotel keeper hut but you will have h a v e to hunt up another victim since I 1 bought u pl iono graph a butic li of n records cords I 1 lime quit going to concerts 11 therell hereit nothing but vanity and verti tion of spirit about an enter of that kind its advertised to start at n certain hour eny say eight und tind you are credulous enough to think that the will be lived up to you brook break a hame 0 fo o pet get there in time and when A hen you ur rive nt at ten minute minutes to eight you find the drat one there you sit tilt around waiting for nn an hour or two and people walk on your feet and sit down on yow your hat but and make things unpleasant aa an possible by the time the curtain goes up you are wishing you bad possessed enough to stay nt at home but be ing there and having paid for the eriv llero liege you determine to hold her nozzle ngin the bunk bank ns its it were the ilis entertainment usually Is opened by a talk smith the man make makes a few remarks always bloomq 1 up nt such entertainments and should be taken to jail for obtaining money under false pretense when he lie has aid all oil that he can think of the artists begin 1 to dish up the music it ruay be elegant music it usually IB Is nut ilu ayou you cant enjoy it in comfort for the gentleman Kent leman with the large splay foot in the seat sent directly behind you persists in beating bea tine timo time with that organ until he drives you frantic if you turn around and dot him in the eye you hilll be ejected from the building then you will find that the woman with a shrill carrying voice who has heard henril better ringers singers sits right in front of you and she keeps on talking in a 2 maddening way the last concert I 1 attended had a fine contralto who sane sang some stem winding songs of the kind we all like but the woman with the shrill voice was right in front of me and I 1 could hear her saying really you yon should hear margaret keyes or christine aller sing that selection this woman Is impossible as a vocal let then a man with a hectic vole votes and a name that he imported without pacing duty on it stood up and whinnied like a doggone zebra and we were expected to believe that he was singing a neapolitan song I 1 never heard anything that filed my nerves the way that voice did it recalled the halcyon days when my father used to sharpen a bucksaw with a rasp well when he lie finished InI shed his first number the applause was frantic and he reared up and did it nil all over again then the applause was louder than eer and he whinnied aled something else eise they kept that blamed pirate there for half an hour and I 1 dont know when I 1 suffered so much the hall was overheated and I 1 was jammed inthe in the middle of a row of seats so tul I 1 get out without climbing over a number of indies ladles and gentlemen we were kept there for three hours houm lind when I 1 got out I 1 swore by my sunday hat lint id never go to another concert next day I 1 bought a phonograph and a lot of records of the kind I 1 uke ind nd now non I 1 enjoy my music I 1 start it when I 1 get ready and quit when I 1 am ELM tired no punk dingers are am encored no windy jims introduce the fd singer rigers with n few pertinent remarks if a IL singer me I 1 stop the ma alne thine and throw the record into the alley better tear up your concert ticket and come and hear bear my music mill |
