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Show PACEcQ Balmy Biographies 7 f ARK TWAIN and Chauncey M. --Depew one went abroad on the tarn ship. When the ship was . a few days out they were both in vited to a dinner, and when speech-making speech-making time came, Mark Twain had the first chance. He spoke twenty minutes and made a great hit. Then It was Mr. Depew's turn. I "Mr. Toastmaster and Ladies and Gentlemen," said the famous raconteur as he rose, "Before this dinner Mark Twain and myself made an agreement to trade speeches. He has just delivered my speech, and I thank you for the pleasant manner In Which you received re-ceived it. I regret to say that I have lost the notes of his speech and cannot remember anything he was to say." Then he sat down, and there was much laughter. "My rubber," said Nt Goodwin, the famous actor, describing a Turkish bath that he once had in Mexico, "was a very strong man. He laid me on a slab and kneaded me and punched me and banged me In a most emphatic way. When u was over and I had gotten up, he came up behind me, before my sheet was adjusted, and gave me three resounding slaps on the back with the palm of his enormous hand. " 'What the blazes are you doing?' do-ing?' I gasped, staggering. " 'No offense, sir,' said the man, 'It was only to let the office know that I was ready for the next bather. bath-er. You see, sir, the bell's out of order in this room.' " A story of Winston Churchill-told Churchill-told by Gertrude Atherton: "Shortly after he left the Conservative Con-servative side of the House (of Commons) for the Liberal, he wa3 taking a certain young woman down to dinner, when she looked up at him coquettishly, and remarked re-marked with the audacity of her kind: " There are two things I don't like about you, Mr. Churchill.' " 'And what are they?' " 'Your new politics and mustache.' mus-tache.' " 'My dear madam,' he replied suavely, "pray do not disturb yourself. your-self. You are not likely to come In contact with either.' " |