Show I 1 1 V LIMEKILN CLUB TW JIL A dastardly deed which led id brother gardner to deliver a sound lecture I 1 1 the thirteenth dastardly attempt to destroy paradise hall was revealed at five saturday evergin evening when the janitor arrived to place the hall in order for the usual meeting ever since the attempt of last october bear traps and spring guns uns have beensen been set it at every door and window when the hall was closed and this fact was generally known to the public the human licena wito who had resolved in his own base mind to destroy the headquarters of the club procured a ladder mounted to the roof and then cut a hole and descended alon alongside 0 side 1 of a chimney in tits way lie thought 0 to escape all dangers prepared for him avid and he no doubt chuckled with fiendish glee as he dropped down into the library his first move was to demolish the bust of cicero this was one of the first busts donated club and has represented horace greeley Gre elcy napoleon bonaparte franklin pierce george washington and several other distin distinguished men by turns the villain seized a crowbar standing in a corner comer of the library and demolished the th bust it at ono one awful sweep lie he then started for the club safe doubtless intending a to drive the crowbar through and through 1 I it and then vengeance overtook hini As lie stepped into the ilic passage 0 behind the secre desk a bear trap awaited his camill coming 0 with yawning 0 jaws and clashin clashing 0 teeth what occurred is partially a matter of ta guesswork the trap was found sprung and in its jaws was a bloody boot bloody tracks md led f from roin thence to the anteroom ante room and there the dastard had raised a wi window didow and leaped down on the roof of the grocery grocer y and escaped to the ground tile the occurrence probably took place friday night IS as tile the policeman on oil the beat remembers of hearin hearing a loud long shriek about eleven it sounded to him like the voice of a strong I 1 man mail about to give up the fight for his life and though lie investigated vesti gated the neighborhood lie was made no wiser how the villain suffered how he wrung his hands hand and vowed to live a better life hereafter how the sweat of ag agony stood on his forehead and his eyes grew fiercely wild can be imagined by any one who lias has visited the scene 0 it is supposed that lie he had a pal in the alley and that this man finally came to his relief and pried the trap open far enough to permit the alie foot to ie be pulled out of the boot As soon as the meeting was avas called to pi arr the janitor reported the case accompanied by a war map and bro ier gardner arose and sar said i my frens IN dis I 1 incident furlia furnishes hc tire me wid an opportunity to addre address S you on oil de desu bjick of goodness vs badness if when a baby was three days 0 ole c lie ie could reason an lie he would reason is as follows iilah I 1 ar a sound round healthy boy wid a big show of enwin I 1 up to manhood do da more I 1 kiek kick tit an boll aw an misbehave boorin my infancy de mol mo sp ankins ril receive do bettor better I 1 mind an do dc gooder I 1 ar as a boy do de easier will I 1 slip along As a young man I 1 shall be upright Z an all honest I 1 As a middle a aged 0 ed man I 1 shall act on oil do de squar As an ole man I 1 shall hall quit chabin pill plug to backer read up lip on do de bible an go to bed airle airly wickedness doan pay fi larger crar it il up lip as you will we liev licy had many instances of it in dis club ill an I 1 we ar surrounded wid em cm at home when whalebone Howker stole a wheel barrer belofi be longin in to pickles smith ho he at f fust list rejoiced ato an was glad lie ile felt dat dab lie was two dollars ahead of do de auto and lie he poked his in do de ribs fura fur a smart man mail he had dat stolen vc ve hickle in his poss eshun two hours when his el game rooster died ava de e dogcatcher dog catcher picked up liis his do dog sin a man who owed him tour four dollars went into bankruptcy he could fi figger mer dat he was eight dollars out of pocket tit an den dell pickles foun out who stole his an cum ober rin an licked whalebone widin in an inch of his life besides take do de case of bermuda jones who libs dexl nex doah to condensed cun bingham bermuda sot down wid a piece of chalk aw an fi figuered figg ered up dat wickedness paid two hundred per cent an he went ober to de grocery backed u up P ngin gin a cracker barl an while he in gagged de grocer grocer in a remigus 0 discussion dis cushion wid one hand he filled his hind pocket wid crackers wid do de odder lie ile started stalled out of dat grocery feeling dat lie he was aaben cents ahead an still gainin but what was do result A small boy who was in dar to buya buy a cents cenas wort of taffy seed do dc hull performance an told tie de grocer focer bermuda wai was fol alered home knocked down in the kitchen an all made to give up tie fo cane fest cat cheers in his parlor to settle do de case did lie profit by his badness did he make any two hundred per cent on dat agin take lakebe de case of kurnel leffin well akabar I 1 had six leghorn liens in in my coop in an lie he coveted 1 eni cm instead of comin to me in a i frank domst way an of ferin to buy dose liens at deir value in an agibin i bin me liis his note due in ili thirty days lie stells steals upon my coop in in do de gloom of inid midnight night an forcibly captivates my illy poultry lie ile chuckled t to 0 himself ober his smartness art an lie he erad up lip ilis his two hundred per cent profit but a nemesis war on on hi liis trail strail helett lie left one of do de ole blue patches on oil liis his pants on a nail in do de coop an whet when I 1 found my liens gone I 1 walked ober to his humble cabin an took him by do de nock neck an a draped him out doors some ot of heard dat lie he went y you 0 it liev probably into a decline soon arter data dat an dat when tie de post was held three of liis his ribs war found kin out olit of his back 1 I 1 lev her fig cc crea on oil 42 goodness tess all ana badness an I 1 tell you yon dat badness do doan atia pay pa sonic some of you may may her lifted a liam aham at do de coner grocery ridout bein call caught V lit at it but 3 yit it 11 how v did Y you 0 11 feel when a strange knock cum at do doali doah guilt was sic scicli it a burden on yer soul dat tic do liam ham tasted like sawdust saw dust an you woke up it at midnight 0 to see snooks spooks by yer beds do de ka good go od man goes cc aroun arotin wid ili his i hat on oil liis his e ear ar of nobody in an lo lookin okill abery y body square in do dc eye it lie happens ns to see sec tie de patrol wagon awine along loli M lie ile to doan I 1 till turn pale if anybody happens to lay jay a land hand on him he fie d doan oa I 1 I 1 sink inter his autes how ar it wid de bad roon men iles he 1 Z allus aiu lookin lookia fur var bar traps tit an spring guns runs ile he s allus 1 spec tin to be restad an I 1 sent up A strange I nock knock at his cabin doah sends a chill up his b back ck go whar lie will lie feels guilty and lit an some line fine day when I 1 he to am all out in joyin de balmy breeze alon long comes a detective detec in an claps do dc handcuffs c on him an away he goes to lo jackson SOA fur ton ten fars yar you can call figger 0 an figger but goodness nesi ani am bound boun d to come collio under rider u do de wire a full length ahead 11 the presidents address ere created abed considerable sid id excitement ind and Way dowil babeo was ready with the following preamble and resolution WHEREAs goodness dr moa dau badness an also asier on do dc now dattore dar tore d ditimar dat Di titar it ityl lc de sense othis mecal dat we stick to goodness the resolution was adopted by a inacio un aniio us is vote and the meeting nic eting adjourned with much good feeling mcclin C 1 I feid troit free arcis |