Show BILL NYES ADVICE rj J wholesome admonitions to one content plating plat ln a career or crime ark bill nye Arli eville N NC C DEAR DA colonels can you tell me it if there is a good petting opening whore where you are for or a live go ahead train robber r ber fourteen hands high and of good pedigree e I 1 the industry has been greatly overdone over dono here e when train robbing is 19 let out to the lowest bidder the frosts are bound to bo be small it might not pay in your immediate vicinity ria 48 1 I am told that you are at a health resort and 1 I have noticed that where good health runs riot there is 19 very little of any thing else but perhaps you know a locality where here it would pay I 1 own eighty acres of the lanest lancit kornicks dor nicks you ever saw and I 1 want you to tell me in boldfaced bold faced trpe p 6 what iv h a t Is best bes ayou for or me to do it you say so ill I 1 it stick to the kornicks dor nicks until the cows return to their domicile the chattel montare mor mort tare are 0 of fate ate however Is hard had to raise on a soil yours truly M R WHITE do not murmur or repine over your hard macadamized lot mr white or seek to become suddenly wealthy by robbing 0 trains if you yell are determined to go into the train robbin robbing industry lid however wever do not come here this is no place fora for a train robber you would not wish to rob an all invalid on oil liis his way here for his health ind and just barely alive and I 1 ani am sure you yon would not ciro care to rob him on his way IV ay back when when he is strong stron ind and weli but penniless that is not the worst drawback about train robbing robbiell here however it is the running time of the trains th that tt interferes with your trade A band of train robbers front from missouri came here five years ago ago hopin to establish a branch of their great operative cooperative co train arce wrecking k ili and robbing I 1 emporium but they were W ere not successful sf ill it is said that they established themselves up near round knob armed to the teeth and awAi teil the arrival of the train r 0 time passed on at first they were hot ot very hungry hun ry und did not think it advisable to devour devout any of their number but at last starvation lie overpowered good resolutions and reason so one after another of the younger 0 and weaker of tile the band yielded to the frenzied and aad famine stricken fra fragment of the once buoyant ind and self reli ant company at last one night just is as the moon dumb clumb the picturesque stepladder step ladder of stars and looked down do wn upon tile the wild and beautiful ill picture of glorified mountain tai and somber valley as the last colored loiterer had returned from the distant list ant revival softly humming to himself while a pair of plymouth Ply month rocks sleepily peered from the pockets of his army overcoat overcoat into the glorious dij ht as the ever re i 0 fretful il pine of tile old north state gave 0 are back to tile the night ni bt wind ivind a hopeless whisper in answer a n awer to Us its light li lit caress the th e last of the lusty robbers yielded to long exposure famine and the sharp remorseless tooth of time his I 1 latest a test fluttering breath went out upon the bosom of the mountain zephyr is as a sit shrill rill whistle sounded f rom b the trussel and in less than two hours almost before liis his body had become cold and rigid in death the train with a ruffied rumble and grumble rumble and roar real with a mad shriek ind and a 1 hot box ox passed him in its resistless llight olit so you see mr white that this is no place to rob trains it is too uncertain this is 1 a I good place for health but it bisno is no place to rob trains I 1 can tell you where there lire are some good food robust chickens or at least where aher e they were an hour a ago 0 O but until the road here lias has more inore respect for its timetable time table I 1 would not advise a train robber in whom I 1 felt an all interest to conic come here I 1 know that at times your dornick farm will look bleak and desolate to you and you will madly yearn for more soil but it is better than the enervating toil of sitting 0 tr night after night in a cold calv culvert ert wearing 1 a set of false whiskers a size too large tor for you ind and waiting for a train that may never come collie that is not all friend f white train robbing lobbin 0 is not now what it was fifteen or twenty years ago I 1 more people go heeled led now anan formerly and those who do not go 0 heeled havo have no money in ili riding through nebraska sonic some years ago 10 1 0 1 I was awal awakened ened on one e ni lit while ill ili an upper tipper berth by a train lobber who was a total stranger to me lie ile did not move in our set his weapon wobbled bleil so owing to his excitement 1 that I 1 caught 0 hold of it to keep it steady and also in such a position that if it happened to get et itself it self discharged ills C it a red r ed the contents would woul igo go through 0 lia a medical V student who occupied tile the lower berth tile the train robber seemed to think I 1 wanted to steal his hi nice lice now new revolver which he lad had no doubt secured by procuring carid two resh fresh f subscribers for forn a childs paper and so lie resisted we struggled ld there for halt half an hour I 1 presume 0 before I 1 succeeded in robbing him A band 0 of t robbers it inlaid is said tried to rob a train bound north from florida three years ago and though they met with some resistance that was was about all they did meet with one robber zok a package of flea powder awde r W a i it t ot of false also lecta and a chestnut bell another agthe inured 1 cured a I 1 white vest 1 a I buffalo ind and lid a small 1 I wet alligator iio lid did no know that he had ii the alligator until two hours a ril il when a 10 loo i k of pain cime came over his f face abc acc and ono one f his companions removed him fro froni from ni the small alli alligator ator which it seems seen 19 I 1 become very much inch attached to the rob wv or by means of the brow of his pants the mans m ns pants I 1 mean another got got D a diary for 73 an all audo 1 phona b 0 no anil and a truss still another anc aher k got a cigar case aspee a spectacle case ia nd a case of smallpox small pox in my opinion pinion 1 a I man mali is a fool who will sit up till nights and lose hii rest in order to liob iob trains when ho he can go go to congress ind and get in his little worl work on the surplus ilist nye in boston globe |