Show MELODIOUS SNORING ali awe icat of sty harft friend I 1 have a friend who snores my friends snore is liko himself whole self satisfied unctuous able bodied in fact the kind of snore that leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination in my opinion my friends anoro is not equaled in this part of the country anil I 1 ought to know for ivo ant up it nearly every night since it was a shrill Iris hlo worn in anco watched over it with moro or imants es tender solicitude during alio trying period in which its voice changed and its mustache sprouted anil celebrated its arrival at tho fullness of its deep baritone maturity by congratulating alio other members of my friends family upon their fatal connection with a steamboat early in alie if tica I 1 say I 1 have sat up with my friends snore all these out of regard for tho truth my friend and I 1 have always roomed together and always occupied tho same bed but never slept together ho slept but I 1 I 1 lay awake to hear him anoro my temperament is artistic in alio extreme nothing inspires in mo such profound as a thoroughly and artistic achievement of any ind nothing could induce me to fall asleep during the progress of alio which my friend nightly performs in hs nasal organ symphony li a good word it defines the situation exactly my friends anoro is not liko that 0 ordinary individuals a sario i of aimless vibrations of the uvula it lias an object in view it is 1 symmetrical ami well regulated performance curtain rises to slow music and when alio climax is reached curtain falls in a blazo of green light with plenty of thunder and lightning each performance consists of one act only which invariably commences about an idour after my friend has retired anil continua i till his alarm clock liaa awakened him to a remembrance of minor duties which alio day demands of him alio steamboat explosion above referred to is tho which brought all facts within my grasp on account of this painful incident my friend nt tho tender ago of three and a half years an orphan to misty veil of alio future my father who happened along at tho t M boy to perish among tho debris of alio ill fated boat and worse fated passengers but fished liim out and warmed him in the bosom of his family thus at a tender ago wo acro thrown together and despite alio orphans infirmity fir mity which was not long in coming to tho ur faco we became firm friends tho scenes of our youth were aliu rolling prairies and virgin forests of minnesota ind our companions from necessity chosen from tho youth of the neighboring friendly bands ol 01 sioux and ero wo were out of our teens the of peace we biad smoked with bands was broken into a thousand pieces and tho fragments drenched with blood the blow camo without a moments warning and alio day buforo it fell will still bo vivid in our memories where recollections of oilier days have vanished how distinctly I 1 recall each incident of that memorable day as now at midnight I 1 recline on ono elbo wand gazo bacu facu of my snoring friend the curtain has just risen and moro plainly than word tho pleased expression on my friends face and the peculiar gurgling cacilo winch apparently issues from tho neighborhood of liis epiglottis recalls to my mind a wigwam on the bank of a river I 1 am reclining in the while my friend aluc by taking various liberties with alio embryo warriors in different stages of nakedness and dirtiness who swarm about the wigwam at ono a m alio pleased ox preA sion is still on my friend s face but no haa drawn out another stop and alic windows begin to battlo cheerfully As plainly aa I 1 can view the phenomena go igou in the region of my friends larynx my minds eye sees him seize ono of tho dirtiest of the and holding him by tho heels bouso him kicking and whooping in tho river at three a m tho occasional bits of plaster which fall from tho ceiling again freshen my memory and I 1 see distinctly tho fat and furious fun my friend Is having with tho savages on tho river bank for an instant something to slick in my friends throat lie 1 pulling out another stop tho pans and plate in tho kitchen rat sympathy ym pathy with there suit and abo expression of my friends face becoming moro cr iou I 1 notice an ill favored emerge from the wigwam brandishing a huco knife another atop and tho loud palal adless me how tho bed groans and tho foundations of tho bouso tremble then scowling braam follow tho anual and draw their knives my friend suddenly realizes his danger and flies pursued by 1 the bravi bravis s with drawn knives good I leavens I 1 mr friend antiro man bo with boiler cronl the savages are gaining on him a chromo is from its moorings on the wall my friend tumble ho falls the aro upon himl tho alarm clock goes off and tho curtain falls 1 I feel as though id been dreaming my friend mutters aa ho gets into h u I 1 answer him not a word but link exhausted on my pillow and tho sleep of tho innocent till the un i high in tho heaven buru J dunham in current mr kurch of Nuh villo drove hit horo to thi fountain in abo public huaro to water him when at tho ight 0 the water tho animal every of hydrophobia lie dashed the aroeta tr oeta biting at everything in his way managed to guide him home and then hot him louville Lm uville jumai |