| Show a ir 11 MW 1111 ASU ago 0 r a 4 W n for rk a 8 0 ix 0 0 main BOOST 0 5 7 ly PROEHL HF HELLER LLER JACKLON drawing by ray walters bilay yI lAY its as you enter and p J leave alt all hope liepe behind ye J who vitter enter here are tit HIP signs scrawled on n the ilie doot doon where the glass tn ili the windshield used to he be Is it at piece of d bearing information temporarily out of enlar erv icv A hit of anco pi painted tinted on fill the hood warns Ili gille itogni keep and invariably aln hl auw pline place on oil the ancient hit bit of wreck tige thi tints the lie le iggi geml nil pour four wheels no brake yes ll it beins tant t all tive tin younger gem ration of humorists tar of the republic are an in III bee olid to 0 o tenth retith liand hund K on every 1 aval available lable surface they have bet et forth rare lare geum of wit deoliv willi paint and chalk among alm wise cracks currently popular we find these im ill S huftle hlf tle s hut but not lazy 14 lite ree arrow with willi u quiver little 00 so creep sus yu your wild mid oita oats ills dis squeals aque alb mull junk an ali accident looking lor for a ilace to Il happen lippet one more payment and sites mine why girls walk homo dont laugh you may be old and iseble Your yourself belf some soine day tills this cur car stops for blondes londea ll bru gettes and hallway crossings savea 1 on I nig big hoy boy liell aint halt full tills this can contains gasoline mrs frequently jn in the cities you see hundreds of these alic mi motor met inet hy by the ravages of tinie time and the ingenuity of their pilots into il works of art arf arid and its a rare country town that boast at lett least A one or two of these wit wagons no one knows where this quaint custom started or when some day say it was tho college boys who began the art and possibly it was for it la Is the college town today which boasts the largest representation represent allou of these metaphorical monsters oil columbia university new york city pos essy one of the most famous of these articulate junk heaps the property ot ofa clinton a junior ui tit the university it Is famous because recently the new york news newa papers papera devoted nearly half a column to an all exposition of its ita charms painted d it a naming flaming red this ford lias has been re christened passion 8 it iri A also labeled columbia the gem flem of the jk motion lotion young campbell Cum purchased it for 12 from the new york street car coni company pany in ili 1015 1915 included la in the purchase liae price was wais a can call of red paint used for decol decorating rating street cars A sign on oil the back of this masterpiece reads Fol follow lovO 1 us its for genuine ford parts tills this however Is slightly misleading as tail Ius slon 8 boasts a roamer back which cost 35 centa upon which wh ichla ts painted the warning danger t jolts below tx Is a d deaths head amons among other things this car contains a dodge piston a chevrolet top which cost nothing as it was salvaged from a wrecked car two packard eat cushions at 25 cents per squat a inn gueto that cost fa 3 and a tire that wits as lifted from a junk pile and so far lias has gone more than man miles A sign on the back of the passion 8 rends reads dont laugh big aloy ours Is paid for on oil the running board Is the insignia lu in greek letters of ili 11 kappa alpha campbells fraternity on oil the other running board braidi one reads wreck from froin G georgia tech the front door marked slain main en trance Is hooked in place by an ingenious gett lous triumph of engineering which defies dedea description the lefthand left hand door la Is captioned this door not working printed on the left side of the rusted hood Is the declaration 1101 honest e qt weight no springs on the right III ingrie itogni keep out another sign reads hery knock Is a boost the tall light of tile the passion 8 Is a red kerosene kc royene lantern borrowed from a roller over one of the rear doors Is a huge exit sign relating the cars eventful history to interested listeners who had stopped to inspect ills rare model campbell explained that it had crossed tile the continent ive five times dines has been to I 1 mexico and to Cut canada iada two beals on it the campus at georgia tech aud and will continue to grace the campus at columbia as long as it holds together it has covered miles since it carne came into campbells possession and lie he says that it can attain a speed of 70 miles an hour and go 42 miles on oil a gallon of gasoline what enables it to perform these remarkable feats campbell failed to indicate when lie leaves it standing alone while lie he goes to class lie he always takes out a handful of parts parta from the motor so that no one can start the ca car the passion 8 Is mechanically perfect campbell declared but it looks looka like h 1 like campbells passion 8 most of the joke autos around tile the country have interesting histories It rarely arely it if ever tire are they owned ly by the original purchasers who if they were tor come coma upon what once were their bright bryght newly painted vehicles find them impossible of recognition on the other haird hail tile the present owners know little or nothing of their cars early arl history pedigrees pedigreed grees are not included in ili tha 1 ho bill of sale bale they bear no guarantees and no satisfaction er is promised you take it or leave it and it if you ou take it tire tile fun full be 4 prices fur for cars suitable for writing pur purposes poes range trum from 5 to 0 per hundred or so pieces miraculously held to loe until the sale Is corn com the condition of f the hie pieces of eo coure ure determines determine the price A car cair with willi tour four inflated tires will bring ii ji thun it a cur car with four hal flat ones ry A motor which hits on all four arl inders with scarcely more dolse than a wartime war time boiler factory la Is likely to bring u higher price titan than IL motor which lacks a cylinder head or a radiator and wont run in its present condition tit at all possession of a top either one man mail or six adds little to tile the value 0 of this typo type of car in the prospective purchasers estimation hell rip it oft offo anyway tops simply arent being worn prospective purchasers seri generally shy away from cars which arek aro known nowa 0 ito o be afflicted with differential gear pItis to remedy this ailment requires costly treatment which generally amounts to moro more titan than tile tho entire value alue of the car but in many cases this defect does not manifest itself until after tho the car lias has changed hands and its ultimate discovery Is often attended with startling results recently in ithaca N Y the seat of cornell university the slogan four wheels no brakes described an actual condition several sophomore members of sigma ihl fraternity own an ancient model which had been performing faithfully one morning glendon gerlach a member of the syndicate which financed the purchase haige of this pile of iron with a companion was driving pansy through a hilly section of the town suddenly without warning something went wrong with Pan gears leaving the plunging car brakeless on oil a steep grade the companion abandoned the vehicle as tt it gathered speed but young gerlach clutching the wheel stuck io 10 hla post pulling on tile so called emergency brake was me merelyn futile gesture at tile bottom of the hill the car raced across the intersection which fortunately at the moment was clear just ahead at the left was the mouth of a narrow street which ot of ferl d a steep steel upgrade up grade gerlach steered f for or it and gradually the car canie came to a halt but only for an instant then it started down the hill backward before it had gained awed much speed however the frightened lad twisted tile the steering wheel and backed the wild mount into the curbing curbin g here flere it halted with a crash breaking braking it a wheel or so and cra cracking dking the axle lately the loya boys have been walking to their classes civic authorities may well bo be con corned over the alie hazards offered to life und find limb by a great many of these decrepit vehicles rarely are they insured liability insurance even een it if the underwriters would accept the risk would cost more than the car but the boys bos have a great time with them and us ua long as there Is a dollar among the crowd to gas and u cut price tire more or a Junk heap to provide cirei alrea these rattling vehicles will grace our streets and highways ti musing us with their belabored wit and terrifying us ua with their menace to our bately bt tely |
