Show S L S STORY or MEN L from e comedy of he same name illustrated frupert aro rho h 1 s if 1 tela ced the play a an by I 1 I 1 by U 2 nj ft 00 14 SYNOPSIS harry mallory la ito ordered to the phi philippines 1 ipp aneo he le and marjorie newton dec decide 1 d 0 1 to 0 e lope elope but wreck ot of prevents th their el r seeing minister on t the h a way to the train transcontinental tr train a in is taking on passengers porter lima lias a lively time with an englishman and ira lathrop a yankee business man the elopers have an exciting time retting getting to the train frain little jimmie wellington bound for reno ileno to get ft a divorce boards train in maudlin condition later mrs mra iommi 3 appears she to Is also bound for reno ileno with 8 same ame koblect object likewise mrs bammy ehlt b latter atter blames mrs airs jimmie for or com her r marital troubles classmates of wal lory decorate bridal berth rev and mrs temple ale start on a vacation they decide e to cut loose and temple removes evidence of tits his calling marjorie decides to let mallory proceed alone but train starts while they are lost in farewell passenger join malloris Mal lorys classmates in n giving couple wedding hazing marjorie Marj orle to Is distracted tr ira lathrop woman hating bachelor discovers an old sweetheart anne gattle a fellow ps passenger enger mallory vainly hunts bunts for a preacher among the he pam passengers gerB mrs wellington hears little jimmies voice later she meets imra whitcomb mallory reports to mar borle 0 evi 1 tits ilia failure to find a preacher they d decide de to pretend a quarrel and mallory fl finds nd 3 a vacant berth mrs jimmie d discovers wellington on the train mallory again makes an unsuccessful hunt for a preacher dr temple poses an ac a physician cian mrs temple la Is induced by mrs ira wellington to smoke IL a cigar sight of preacher cher on a station platform rm raises m orys hopes but he takes another train missing hand baggage compels the couple to borrow bonow from passengers CHAPTER continued the first one they labored tit at they could not budge after a biceps break ing tug the second flew up with such ease that they went avei over backward ashton put hla his head out and announced that the approaching depot was la belled green river wellington burbled what a beautiful name tor a a oblation ashton announced that there was something r still on the platform oh a peach 1 a nectarine necta rinel 1 and ashes getting on this train even doctor temple declared that she waz was a dear litte thing she wellington pushed him aside saying stand back doe doc and let me sae eee I 1 have a keen sense of beau full ful 11 be careful cried the doctor hell fall out of the window not out of that window ashton sagely observed seeing the bulk of wellington As AB the train started oft off again little jimmie distributed alcoholic smiles to the green River Rl verera ers on the platform and called out goodbye ever body youre all a ow owl lie ile clapped his bla hand to his eye and crawled back into the car groaning with pain the matter said wedgewood got something in your eye no you blamed tool fool im trying to look through my thumb poor fell fellow owl sympathized doctor temple its a cin cinder derl A cinder its at leasha a ton ot of coal 1 I say eay old buoy boy let roe me have a peek said eald wedgewood screwing in his monocle and peering into the depths of Welling tons eye 1 I cant see a bally thing of course not with that blinder on growled the mf marable rable wretch weeping in spite ot of himself andrud bing his smarting orb dont rub that ey eye e ashton coun selled rub the other eye its my eye ill rub it if I 1 want to get me a doctor somebody lin im dying heres doctor temple 11 sald said ashton right on the job wellington turned to the old clergyman with pathetic trust and the deceiver writhed in his hie disguise the best he could think of was will somebody lend roe me a lead pencil what tor for said ald wellington uneasily 1 I am going to roll your upper lid up on it said the dector oh no youre not said the patient you can roll your own then the conductor attil sti 11 conductor wandered on the scene aej risked as it it were not a world imbor tant matter the matter pick up a cinder yes perhaps you can get it out the alleged doctor appealed the conductor nodded the beet beat way la Is this take hold bold ot of the winkers the what mumbled wellington 4 grab the winkers of your upper eyelid in your right hand ive got em cm now grab the winkers of your lower eyelid in your left hand now raise the hand push the under lid under tinder the and haul baul the over the un derIld when you have the well over the under wellington waved him away say what do you think rm im trying to do dol stuff a mattress get out cut of 0 my way I 1 want my wife lead me to my wife an excellent idea said D dr temple who had been pitying for a reconciliation ile he wellington with to the observation room and finding mrs wellington at the desk deck na ad usual he began oil oh mrs wellington way may I 1 introduce you to your husband mrs wellington rose iose haughtily caught it a sight of her erinc consort and ran to him aliha a cry of uhn jim intel Luc Lucret lal 1 happened are you killed im far from well but da dont h lt worry my lite life insurance la 19 paid up P oh my poor little darting darling mrs jimmie fluttered what on ear earth alia you she turned to the doctor la a lie ho going to die 1 I think not said datil the 0 t r the its it s only a bad case of cander i ln the eye CYP ats thus reassure reassured d mrs wellington went into the patients eyo eye r handkerchief Is ile that the eye she a asked not nol he howled the other othir prie one she went into that and came cam a out w ith the cinder I 1 therol therel its just a tiny speck wellington regarded regard edthe the mote with amazement Is that all it felt as if I 1 had bad pikes bonk in my eye then he waxed tender oh lucretia Luc retla how can I 1 ever but she drew away awak with a disdainful give me back my hand please 11 now lucretia lucretha Luc retla he be protested dont you think youre carrying this pretty far only as far as an reno she answered grimly which stung him to retort ko ud better take the boarn beam out of your own eye now that youve taken the cinder out of mine but she noting that they were the center of interest observed all the passengers are enjoying this my dear better go back to the cafe wellington regarded her with a revulsion to wrath he thundered at her 1 I will go back but allow me to inform you my dear madam that ill not drink another drop just to sur our prise you mrs W wellington shrugged her shoulders at this ancient threat and jimmia stumbled back to his lair whither the men followed him feel feeling ing sympathy in the atmosphere little jimmie felt impelled to pour out his grief Jell Jel finen roen im a broan man mrs wellston Is a queen among women but she has temper of 1 wedgewood broke in 1 I say 0 old 11 boy you youve ve carried thle this ballast for three da days ya no now w wherever did you get it wellington drew himself up proudly for a moment before ho slumped back into himself well you see when I 1 announced to a few friends that I 1 was about to leave mrs wel inton forever and that I 1 was going out to to you know reno we know well well a crowd of my friends got up a farewell sort of divorce breakfast and some of em cm felt so very sad about my divorce that they drank a little too much and the re rest of my friends alt so very glad about my divorce wit that they dranka drank a little too much and andoe of course I 1 had hadbo to join both parties and that breakfast said ashton lasted till the ahe train started eh wellington glowered back triumphantly lasted till the train started start dd bellmen Jell men that breakfast Is going betl in the sm smoking 0 king room Welling tons divorce breakfast re i minded ashton of a sto story ry ashton was one of the great that reminds me family perhaps it was to the credit of the englishman that he missed the point of this story even though jim ale wellington saw it through his fog and dr temple turned red and burled buried ilia hla eyes in the eminently respect respectable abW pages of the scientific american ashton and wellington and fosdick fosdeck exchanged winks over the Britis hers stare of incomprehension and ashton explained it to him again in words ot 0 ono one syllable with signboards sign boards at all the different spots F finally a gleam of understanding broke over Wedge woods face and he tried to justify justlin his delay oh yes of cawse I 1 see it now yes yea 1 I rather fancy I 1 get you its awfully good it I 1 think I 1 should have kot got it before but im not really myself for two mawn mannings ings I 1 had my tub wellington shook with laughter if youre like this now what will you be e when you ket get to sin san frasco f I 1 mean well you know what I 1 mean ashton reached round for the electric button as it if he were con conferring ferrin g a favor the drinks are on you fou wedgewood ill ring and he rang awfully Aw kind of you said wedgewood but how do you make that out the man that misses the point pays for the drinks and he rang agin wellington protested but alte 1 OVY folly well paid tor for all the drinks tor for two daiv wellington roared another point youve missed and ashton rang again buethe but the pale yellow individual who had always answered the bell with alacrity did not appear wheres that infernal buffet walter waiter grumbled wedgewood began to titter wo we were out of scotch go BO I 1 sent him for some more when Wl ien two stations back bach I 1 fancy we must mu have left him behind well why in thunder you if say so ashton roared it quite escaped my mind wedgewood grinned I rather tather good joke or on you fellows what bhatt well I 1 dont aea ae the point ashton groI growled ed but the triumphant englishman howled bowled where you dyl wedgewood had bad hla his laugh to him bin self belf for the others wanted to muro f 4 r him ashton advised a lynching lunching lyn ching b but u t tile conductor arrived on oil the scene in bitne to irvvng violence ro fosdick rl dick informed him of tile the irre arlev blo loss of the he lasof useful ul buffet w wait nit er T the conductor pro promised to gel another nt at ogden ashton walled lave have wo re rot got to bit alt here and ile die of thirst till then the rh 0 cond conductor refused to back uw for 11 coon but offered to send in III a sleeping car porter porter as a temporary substitute As ho started to go fosdick who had been incessantly consul consulting tin 9 ilia hta wat catli 1 li l checked him to aski oil oh conductor ductor when do we got to lc the state una line of dear old utah Ut 1711 dear old oid utah I 1 the conductor grinned wed a been there already it if we v e h a fell behind a little just my luck to be lato late F moaned what you so 80 anxious to bo be in utah for fosdick t ashton asked suspiciously auspiciously you go on to frisco dont you fosdick was evidently confused cont used at the direct question lie ho tried to dodge it yes yee but tunny funny how things have changed when wo we started nobody wils speaking to anybody except ilia his wife now now said bald ashton every blodys speaking to everybody except his wife youre beang there little jim into interrupted antor 01 speaking to my wito v jtb in the first place wo bogot got on its as stran gersh and were stran stra ngah gersh yet mrs airs wellston lo ia a A qun among women wo we knowl dry up said ashton and then they heard the querulous voice of 0 the porter ot of their sleeping car 1 I tell you I 1 dont know about the buffet business the conductor pushed him in with a gruff command crawl in that cage and get busy still the porter protested mista pullman engaged me for a slee pla car not a drinkin drink ln car im a berth bert h maker not a mixer he cast a resentful glance through the window that served also as a bar and his whole tone changed say Is you coln to allow me loose amongst all them beautiful bottles say man if you do 1 I cant guarantee my boxi con duck if you even sniff one of those hot bottles the conductor warned him ill crack it over your head that wont borr me none waa aa long as my open he smacked smack ed his chops over the prospect ot of intimacy with that liquid treasury lordy well ill try iry to control my emotions but remember I 1 dont guarantee ant e bothin the conductor a started to go but paused for final instructions and remember after we get to utah we cant serve any hard bard liquor at all that dont the they low noth in in that old utah but ace e cream soda about all it if you touch a drop ill leave you in utah for life oh lordy ill be good I 1 the conductor left the excited black and went his way ashton was the first to speak say porter can you mix drinks the porter ruminated rumina ted then confessed well not on the outside no sir mr it if you all la is thirsty you better order the simplest things you can think of it if you want to command anything fancy lord knows what get supposing osInO you was to say gamme a tom colllns collins id be just as liable as aa not to pass you a jack johnson well can you open beer oh im a natural born beer opener rush ruah it out then hen my throat la 18 as aa as the porter soon appeared d with a tray full of cotton top topped ped glasses tho the day was hot and the alkali dust very oppressive and the tha beer was waa cold colder dr temple looked on it when it was amber and suffered himself to be bullied into taking a glass TO BE BC CONTINUED |