Show REPORTED BY THE GROUCH here the original hiram J tells of his attendance at a country function lla having ving nothing else to do remarked tile the old codger 1 I attended a function while I 1 was over at tor pid aidville ville the other day the affair was held in a dispirited grove at tho the end of a road in which every time a horse popped down ills his toot the dust shot up tip in the air like a skyrocket A band was playing without tile the slightest remorse A statesman with a neck as wrinkled as a pickle dron ed forth redundant without end A sad bad and rickety merry go wound round and ami round to tho the sound of its own plaintive plaint peo ole dle deedle in a tipsy pavilion a hoarse person was endeavoring to sell in brazen de defiance flance of the pure food and drug act what looked alarmingly like horned toads tried in axle grease A gentleman in a striped tent near by hoarsely stated that lie he preferred to cat snakes at ten cents per serpent there was the usual balloon which seemed perfectly willing to do anything but go up scattered around through the festal scene were it a few old soldiers grumbling a smattering 9 of farmers also grumbling sundry honest vot voters 0 re likewise grumbling 1 and various other folks nothing about whom Is worth mentioning except that they too were grumbling lt it may have been a reunion eui ilon a fair a rally a picnic or whatnot what not but whatever they chanced to call it a an excellent example of one of our most cherished institutions kansas city star |