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Show Michael Solis a citizen of Bogota, Italy is reputed to be 160 years old. What a chance Mr. Solis missed by not being an American citizen! He would have been the only man in the country who could have voted for every President without lying about it. "My case is just here," said a citizen to a lawyer, the other day. "The plaintiff will swear I hit him; I will swear that I did not. Now what can you lawyers make out of that if we go to trial?" "Five dollars apiece," was the prompt reply as he extended his hand. A smooth sea never made a skilful mariner, neither do uninterrupted prosperity and success qualify for usefulness and happiness. The storms of adversity, like the storms of the ocean, arouse the faculties and excite the invention, prudence, skill, and fortitude of the voyager. There is an Oil City boy who was sent out collecting recently, and when he returned in the evening and handed in his bills unpaid, he said "The people around this town like me first rate. They were as anxious to see me often, that every man I went to told me to call again." A sea captain was brought before a justice in Marseilles and mercilessly attacked by his opponent's lawyer. When at length he was suffered to speak, he said "Your Honor, I ask a delay of one week in the proceedings, so that I may find a big enough liar to answer that man." His request was granted. A Paris artist advertises that he will "paint at a moderate price a gallery of ancestors for anybody who will give him a commission," etc. It might do in France, but it wouldn't work well in this country. A gallery of the ancestors of some of our "first families" would necessarily contain portraits of soap fat men, washer-women, cooks and hod carriers.-Norristown Herald. Little Fred refuses above all things to be pitied, all the energy of his four year old will concentrating itself upon keeping up his dignity in misfortune. The other day he fell down stairs and was picked up badly bruised, and was pitied accordingly. "It is too bad," his mother said, "really too bad. Poor fellow!" "‘Tain't too bad!" exclaimed Freddy, struggling to keep back his tears. "I've been just dying to fall down-stairs for this long time!" |