Show AN DOG the happy thought that camo caine to a newly married man lack jack aloer rented a cottage in in order der t to otea picaso bh wife jack b bad ad se beet his heart upon having nn an able bodied doo dog for protection but as a lie bad been married ollya few months and the hitney honeymoon Ino on still retained gomo of its saccharin criess lie he was willing to inake one eniy more sa crince to augment lii cifes happiness slie site said site she would ili na 11 liaf ef havo have a robber or A cramp in the house is as to have a crois cross dog about but he be miss the dog from his mind nad and one day while reflecting a upon the feeling of security such an acquisition acquisition would d afford he be conceived nn an idea lie he would have a do dog built according to a design of his own invention it might be a little more expensive than a genuine dog to t o but it at this early era of his married warric ti life file money was not so much an object as mrs losers felicity I 1 ath tho 0 automatic animal was successfully built it II was of the ilia bull do dog brand with a redundancy of head and a a visage as savage as a steam power sausage chopper one eye was blood shot and the lid swollen and one car had at i ra ragged ed edge as if it hall had been in nil an old feud its jaws were flabby the undamaged eye had a wicked glare and tile the whole couto coutont tir of tile the brute was one of re in tho the first degree observation had bad titi taught 0 lit jack that ihen it a man in it gained ik a dogs confidence be instinctively patted the animal on oil the head the interior department of jacks do dog ali rebote was fitted up of with machinery of a very cry sensitive character hii which ich was con connected eclea with a wire ire running irom from ft a button on tile Anit animals nals lead anti and when this button was slightly pressed the internal contrivance would go off like jn an alarm clock orao of those diabolical inventions that wakens up tip every member of the family except the servant girl in whose room the infernal machine is at work when mien tile the dom dog waa 9 patted on oil tile head hand tile the birgit a would n 0 old make a slight move open its jaws and emit a prolonged find and sonorous growl row that would cause the cold shivers to meander along your spinal column the dog was brought 0 home and jack got his wife to test it she Slie said it was an ugly 7 brute but she afraid of no homemade home made log dog and when an site patted it on oil the head at her huab ands sti suggestion aeb tion and ans as greeted with in an unexpected nil and blood curdling howl how she let escape an air piercing shriek slid and fainted lead dead away the do dog was lit an overwhelming 0 s success uc it was re regarded added as an offensive partisan by bv every member of the tramp fraternity who nho halted at tile gate aud and threw a hungry 0 0 glauce toward the colta c one jay day jack and ami his hii wife left lion home a for a short to the seaside the alic house was securely closed and the automatic do dog planted K horo it would tie do tile most 0 good rood that ve very ry 1 a couple oi of dirt be grimed aimed rimed tramps stopped in ili front of the cottage one of them un latched ti alie a f croul rout gate gale and was about ell entering terin w when hall suddenly ins his gaze became rive riveted terl on fill an object in ili the alic palli jhc ew lie he softly whistled backi backing away ly fly from the fence great grea cres bicsar I 1 agil jimmy il my just talc take a squint it at the size of tile the brute bruec yer riot not of him are yer bill said his companion but look at the wicked eve eye of ciui iles hes a terror from Terro nille none of him lit in mine if i you please jim a coward bill said tile the tramp addressed address cd as jiru jim yer got no grit see sec yer undo uncle make frici friends ids w with ith the terror and jim cautiously approached losers do dog using kushic all tile wheedling n terms of 7 endearment 1 nt it his command poor old fellow comp here my iny fine li beauty cauty then lie he whispered encouragingly and snapped liis his lingers fingers ci cajolingly jolin gly S s p p p p p r t lie chirped pla placing pl icing cin liis his liand carres singly on oil tile doms dogs head ito ho you old fel 0 at this juncture the do dos dogs s body moed forward liis his ingulli ope opened I 1 I 1 1 and tit an awful nerve distracting burrit r grerr rl issued from 11 its throat threat and the tramp dashed out of thenard the yard with so much impetuosity anil unexpected eclet celerity ity that lie left a portion of ids his tattered garments 0 ar ments liuding liu ging to tile hie gate gale latch its mighty lucky far beryer yer jimmy that the bil bi big l headed cur bitin didn t lunch off 3 yer er muir leg said bill as the twain hurriedly resumed their journey next cornin morning mrs losers mother arrived wishing to give her a little surprise slie site hall had not apprised her of her intended visit it 11 was As sirs mrs losers mother however who received tue surprise and audit it so 60 very little either cil lier she saw tile the dog as godit as she opened the lie ate ana and stood undecided whether to fill ad taneo cr retreat what an all ugly monster she mused ali and I 1 carolipio Caroli iio tio would never hai haen a a dog low about ilia alie house either cither its very strang strange a put but maybe its acim animal it that lias has wandered into tile yard then slie she closed the gale ale herself still and tile the log dog raised her umbrella threateningly Is and cried git out 0 it gowoy L you ligety beast shoo alio f scat reat yo you it dirt v dog but g scat worth a halfpenny cariie caldei car o ireci called the old lady but for oi obvious reasons there was no ito response caroline carolina was several auiles distant well amnot going to stand bland hero here all d day ay fill finally illy said M it afes mother v with ith nil an air of determination mi nation ill see sec if I 1 cint c int wako make friends with willi tile homely canine corne come towser site she coaxed good do doy doggy 0 y I 1 mice old carlo here pr nee conic come here then the old rt ial lady y having unconsciously advanced within reach of tile log dog slowly extended her hand and aegan b gan to pat it on oil tile head you nice old do i ouch I 1 F fire ire murdorf olt git ciroline caroline I 1 oll oh ou oo she ell ed sis is the do 0 seventeen yard long by a foot in ill pierced the adjacent the best previous ti time m a m made a ile by a hadly badly scarce women in gettin gell iii out of a front yard Is 1 not on record LT but movers cifes mother brat it by about twenty nine seconds at least she was wa I 1 in n a 11 hurry flurry she is say ay iy so but sue she was kit all tile same off Oli my I 1 she gasped when she reached tho the middle of 0 the road and 1 discovered that the dog 0 lind had not followed her 1 I thought 0 I 1 was a dead woman waman surd then site lio looked at her satchel which tic ho bad slashed around wildly lit ii her flight prid and which had burst open by horning in contact with the gate post 1 I declare if the jar of currant jelly I 1 bought caroline carolina lay jay smashed A alt to bits in the bardl john jolia moser heard that I 1 was comin coming and got that horrid u ugly ay iy monster on purpose I 1 know lie he did ill go right 0 back home and never set foot iu in the ungrateful wretches house a again ain and she left by tile the next nest train fairly bailin boiling with nith anger and one of the first thia things gs site she did upon her arrival home was tomazean tom to make akean an alteration in her n nill ill the next visitor at the most er cottage tage was it i tax collector who had a V variegated arie grated experience lie ile boldly opened the gate leisurely closed it after him and started up tin tile path mechanically fumbling in an inside pocket je jc roo sa leml lie he ejaculated as tile the automatic contrivance encountered ins his vision ill bet that thai overgrown overgrow n d dog o is kept for alic special benefit of book canvassers find and tax collectors collector 9 here bull come here old fellow lie coaxed if I 1 hall a revolver ill id blow the root roof off the ge looking briita brUt di their lie he advanced gingerly towards the do dog 0 using kind words aliat ila never die and nil ct atio cautiously io ay iy placed his hand band on oil the I 1 lucuil call there was a tree by and alid the tax collector wits was safely at the top of it before the alic cadences of li losers dogs 0 1113 G r r r 13 r r r had died awny away with ilia tax collector time was money but bill all tile hie same lie he concluded to remain lit in the tree anti and think about one filing hill and at iother another vrigil tile don dog retired retire dv or som one taine came to liis his rescue F five ive I 1 minutes nil lutes devoted to vigorous yelling convinced hint him that the moser cotta cotlage e was unoccupied the tun un had bad sunk behind tile the western hills bachin bathing the landscape lit in a flood of purple haze baze and tall fall trees in in an adjacent meadow were darkly silhouetted against iain st tile the hazy sides but bit the tax coll collector ettor enjoy the scenery to any consider able extent tor for his position in the ilic tree was becoming very auie able and the dog 0 was still stil there and lie was annoyed by the ilia animals barro harrowing winn and per persistent persisted it silence finally the tax collector concluded to venture down the tree and aid take hia chances tile feet was accomplished with willi a rapidly beatin beating dimart and when ho be safely reached the gate ate without the dom dog makin making a dem demoi or str alion his courage courage quickly returned turned a and assumed hu huge huc c proportions proportion perhaps tile tho iufer infernal ual brute is asleep 1 l lie reflected 1 I must revenge 0 and the choti thoughts abts of revenge made liun feel very brae indeed lie ito left the alic gale ante partly open to permit of a basay escape anti and then proceed to gratify his for revenge the file animal is as quiet as 18 a 1 Is statue tattle and ill just give him one vigorous ri brotis lick kick for luck and then olide glide out of the oate gate I 1 like a lightning fightlin fight nin and lie be bestowed stoned tile kick only one it was a heirty one hundred pound lo tho the square quire inch lick but it was enough for the tax las collector one million dol dollars larsin in cash would would not lot have induced lidin to g gi ne a moscos dom dog another kick kich IN kol ot with the S c foot anyway lay that part of ilia pro gramme relating to gliding out of the gate ate like lightning uns omitted but tile tax collector did sonic some gliding nevertheless lie ile eloile firo tind 0 on one olle foot nursing the other u with ith 1 I 1 hands lini ids and 1111 like a throats throat sat at a siu slugging gill match lie thought liis his tos toes were telescoped into ili hiis ankles hut but they ivere riot not two of thern were broken and two others badly bent but the doctor who dressed ilis his injuries said lie thought his patient could dispense vit with h a I 1 crutch lit in about in 0 tile tho tax lax collectors fate should teach a man mail to refining brefini 11 fir from 0 in ni at tempting to lick kick the llie fw frilling illing all and other ma machinery chinen out of a ble sleeping dog do 1 evecia ll 0 one 0 of tile automatic breed it is a incan addan take s to take of the unsuspecting tin al animal UK at whai ja jack k closer I 1 home his dom dog like the ft was ivas still there shonita g no sib sings s of lunger or fatigue when jack saw tte the washed mashed jar of currant jam and a dozen tax derna demand tid notes ij ilig about the yard ho be quickly stir surmised wised that liis his alo dog had attended atri strictly c t 13 to business during during his absence 1 lie le having liis his automatic do dog g patented buttlieri but alien lie hears fetu liis its mother in law lie he will probably change 0 his inird toledo made blade rin fin or organ aai supplying 1 I ll 11 wind aa for ali tho organist if tile the tir has bai his hi doubts about the character ol of the audience auli cuco wo we would not object to hn his quietly feeling of liis his watch chain pt pulling illing town down liis his vest or that hiscott Lis his coal coat tail is all there but these performances are kept up during during 0 the whole speech we mildly enter a pro protest fest jve think thesel painful mannerisms tire are a survival val icil of the tr trouble occasioned by the great question which confronts avci every youth wito mounts the platform to asay toy a what shall I 1 do with my it hands at that morne moment it seems to the ilia boy their is too much of 0 liim him those uri ungainly ainaly looking arms I 1 what a pity they cannot bo be uns unscrewed crowd slid and snugly 7 stowed away out of 0 sight but thero there they are and there they stay hanging like two sticks slicks of wood not ot a sign of life except tile the continuous twitching of aih nervous fingers vainly atte attempting t to pull the binding oft off liis his c coat or perhaps the apparently lifeless arms will dart out in a spasmodic which has about as much grace ns as one of the regular revo binions of a flail stick there ore are few persons persona who to do not liao hal 0 some pet word phrase or gesture anti and this should be carefully avoided avoid td for its iti constant recurrence is almost sure to tie tic obnoxious to others or indeed tha habit may become positively dangerous As ai the fol following lowin instance shows A certain lawyer hall had contract contracted edthe alic habit of holding it in his barid when speaking a small piece of 0 paper which lie would continually crumple ini mple this habit so grow on oil him that it be become connie u positive necessity sonia some of his brother lawyers determined to play a joke by depriving him of tho the paper one day just before he be rose to address th alic jury lie he laid the slip of p paper aper on a table while lie ho turned his back for a moment to speak to gomo one in ili that moment tile the paper was taken away tile the lawyer turned round anti and put out liis his hand for the littly slip before beginning but to lo liis his dismay he ha discovered it was riot not there ile he started changed color find and began A search the paper wits was riot not to be found hower and felling feeling that lie was attracting attention tion by his hia strange conduct condri ct lie ho commenced Illen ced his hia spee speech cli hut but it itans was a per feet act fail failure lie halted halt ci floundered blundered and in short conducted himself so poorly that tile the lawyer who had removed the little paper now low taking pity on him quietly slipped it into the speakers hand when off ho he went like a rocket and made an excellent addess vie academy 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