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Show EXCELLENT RULES.<br><br> The following excellent and pointed rules are posted conspicuously in the office of the U.O.M.& B. Co.:<br><br> No wood wanted. Match peddlers never leave this office alive. We have two barns full of suspenders and don't want any more. Coffins provided for lead pencil and perfumery fiends. Boot-blacks - beware! No coal, as we heat this office by our own breath. Beggars bounced badly. Nixey [Nixie] soap. We deal in soap, clocks, safes, jewelry and books, ourselves. Office hours for tramps, book agents, canvassers &c., from 11 p.m. to 4 a.m. July 4th. Our bouncer goes by steam. |