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Show He Waited To Laugh. At mid-afternoon, yesterday, a man who was crossing Woodward avenue at Congress street suddenly began to paw the air with his hands and [unreadable word] divers strange notice with his feet, an dafter taking plenty of time about it he came down in a heap. More than [unreadable word] people saw the performance, and there was a general laugh. It had not yet ceased when a man with a funeral countenance pushed his way into the crowd and asked. "Who is he - what's his name?" "it's Jones," answered a voice. "what Jones?' Thomas Jones." "Sure?" "Yes, I've known him for ever twenty years." "Then I'll laugh," said the solemn faced man, end he leaned against the wall and chuckled and laughed until he could hardly get this breath. One of the crowd remarked on his [unreadable word] conduct, and the laughter wiped the tears from his eyes and replied: "Gentlemen, nothing tickles me all over so much as to see a man fall down. Ten years ago I was [unreadable word] in a wholesome house, with a fine chance for promotion. One day a man just ahead of me fell down and I laughed. It was our old man, and he discharged us on the spot. Five years later I was engaged to a rich girl. As I came out of the post office one day a man sprawled out on the walk, and I laughed till I was sore. It was my Angelina's old men, and he broke up the match. Again I laughed myself out of a position in a bank, and but for the same failure, I should today have a place in the Custom House. I have learned wisdom. Now when I see a man fall I ask his name and find out he has any influences to put me out of my clerkship. If he has I look solemn and pass on. If he hasn't I laugh ha!ha!ha! Jones is it! Jones can't do me any harm, and ha!ha!ha!ha! I wouldn't have missed this for a month's sal-hal!hal!hal!" - [Detroit Free Press. Frankness consists in always telling the truth, but not always all the truth. How Colonel Wake's Life was Saved. There is a story connected with Dr. Busby's rule at Westminster during the times of trouble that most always find in place in any of the traditions of the school. All Westminsters are aware that at one time a [unreadable word] hung on "the panonito bar" which was drawn to divide the upper from the under school. This curtain was one day torn during the school hours by a boy named John Glynno. The unfortunate little fellow was to a terrible fright at the prospect of the flogging which he knew the Doctor would give him. Seeing this, a generous and plucky friend named William Wake offered to take the blame and the flogging. Glynne evidently had not pluck enough to renew such an offer, so Wake was punished for tearing the curtain. In the year 1654, among the prisoners who had been taken at Sahebury at the time of Peurnddock's unsuccessful rising, was William Wake, who had become in Colonel is the Royalist army. He was brought before Cromwell's judges and sentenced to death. Immediately after the trial one of the judges mounted his horse and rode as fast as he could to have an interview with the Lord Protector. He asked as a personal favor that Colonel Wake's life might be spared. His position was granted, and the judge had the satisfaction of saying the life of a man who, when a boy, had taken the flogging from Dr. Basby? In his stead - for the judge was John Glynne. After the restoration of Charles II., Dr. Busby had the honor of showing the King over the school. It was on this occasion that the Doctor apologized for keeping his cap on in the King's presence, because, as he explained, it would never have done to let the boys think there was a greater man in the world than himself. A hollow tree in Southern California has been converted into a dwelling. Doors and windows have been put in, and floors built for eight stories, the entrance to them being made by means of a ladder. Outside the topmost room is a small balcony, shaded by the foliage of the tree. The man who lives up there is supposed to be long to the upper class and to have the entrée to good society. General Garfield is a member of a Washington literary society. Woman's Wisdom. She insists that it is more important that her family [unreadable word] be kept in full health, than that she should have all the fashionatic? Dresses and styles of the times. She therefore sees to it, that each member of her family is supplied with enough Hop Bitters at the first appearance of any symptoms of ill [unreadable word], to prevent a fit of sickness with its attendant expense, care, and anxiety. All women should exercise their wisdom to this way. - new Haven Palladium Our Readers Would do well to call on or write to H. Schell hans, for furniture, carpets, or crockery, [unreadable word] St., Odd Fellows' Dallding, Oakland, Cal. Reliable Testimony. Where testimony give the residence of the parties it is [unreadable words] matter for any person to verify them. Thousands of people from all parts of the Pacific Coast can and have expressed the opinion that there is no other article in the world equal to PHOSPHATE SOAP Before we had used one cake, the child's head and face were entirely heated and there has been no appearance of the disease [unreadable word]. Michael Kane No. 1 69 Kirkham St. Fort Venom, Arizona, Dec. [unreadable numbers]. STANDARD SOAP COMPANY-Gen a Having received your box of PHOSPHATE SOAP, and having used only one cake of SOAP out of the three, I am happy to say that it has completely cured my sore [unreadable word] which was caused by the alkali [unreadable word] Idaho Territory, to 1877, and have been sore ever since until I used PHOSPHATE SOAP Comporal Dennis Burke, Twelfth Infantry. SAN FRANCISCO, November 27, 1879. STANDARD SOAP COMPANY-Genta. After a number of trials of Soaps, I have learned that the PHOSPHATE is certainly the very best for shaving I thank you for the introduction James P. Asther. A Great Family Remedy. Burnham's Abletene No compound but an extract of a peculiar kind of Mr. Balsam Natures Remedy for Rheumatism, Neuralgle, Croup, Sore Throat, Lung and Kidney Troubles, &c. A specific for that dreaded disease, Croup; valuable for [unreadable word] eyes, sprains, bruises, &c. It is a safe, reliable and indispensable medicine in the family. Those to whom its value and mode of appellation is known are never without it. Price 50 cents and $1 per bottle. Ask your druggist for it. Do Not Despond. Farmer's Safe Kidney and Liver Cure will drive off the worst attack of "blues" From the Hub. There la perhaps no tonic offered to the people that possesses as much real intrinsic value as the Hop Bitters. Just at this season of the year, when the stomach needs an appetizer, or the blood needs purifying, the cheapest and best remedy is Hop Bitters. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, don't wait until you are prostrated by a disease that may take months for you to recover in . - Boston Globe. Visitors returning from abroad, as well as recent immigrants, will find Ayer's Sarsaparilla helpful in avoiding the hardships of acclimation, and in removing the boils, pimples and eruptions consequent upon sea diet. Its blood-cleansing qualities remedy such troubles promptly. J.W. Shaeffer & Co., 331 and 323 Sacramento St., San Francisco, employ no drummers. Cigars sold very cheap. Furniture and bedding at retail at wholesale prices. [unreadable word] Schellbass, Htb. St., Oakland, Cal. TROPIC FREUIT LAXATIVE Prepared from tropical [unreadable world] and plants. Is the Best and Most Agreeable Preparation in the World. For Constipation, [unreadable word], Headache, Torpid Liver, Hemorrhoids, Indisposition, and all Disorders arising from an obstructed state of the system. Ladies and children, and these who dislike taking pills and [unreadable word] medicine are especially pleased with its agreeable nuallities. TROPIC-FRUIT LAXATIVE may be used in all cases that need the aid of a purative, cathartic, or uppercut medicine, and while it produces the [unreadable word] result as the agents named, it is entirely free from the usual objections common to them. Packed in [unreadable word] the boxes only. Price 25 cts. Large boxes 60 c. Sold by All First-Class Druggists. A Mexico-Fruit [unreadable word] of the premier class.Try it once, and you will [unreadable word] it highly as a safe and effective remedy. Hall's Pulmonary Balsam Price 50 Cts. AN IMMEDIATE AND PERMAnent cure for coughs, Colds, Asthma, Bronchitis, Croup, Influenza, Cattarrh, Loss of Voice, Incipient Consumption, and all Diseases of the Throat and Lungs. Ask for the California Pulmonary Balsam, and take no other. Sold by all Druggists. PHOSPHATE TRADE MARK SOAP PHOSPHATE SOAP Not only for daily use on the fact and hands, but for bathing the entire body, there is nothing equal to PHOSPHATE SOAP. It is a thorough disinfectant and removes offensive odors of every kind. Thousands of articles are palmed off on the public which have no genuine merit, but PHOSPHATE SOAP is the result of modern discoveries of celebrated chemists. No salve or ointment can heal a wound or sore of any kind. Every educated physician will tell you that nature alone can do this. PHOSPHATE SOAP, by its cleansing, soothing and purifying qualities, gives nature a chance to act freely. If your wife is in the habit of using cosmetics of any kind, advise her to give up the pernicious practice, as the most harmless face powders obstruct the pores of the skin and sooner or later injure the complexion; while PHOSPHATE SOAP removes all impurities and assists nature in developing a natural; healthy and beautiful skin. A superb article for the toilet, beneficial to the skin, giving it a soft, velvety appearance, and leaving a soothing, pleasant sensation after use, imparting a healthy, natural and lasting beauty to the complexion. It eradicates the poisonous effects of cosmetics; preventing skin diseases by acting as a constant purifier and disinfectant; if used constantly will cure skin diseases of long standing; is superior to any other article for bathing infants; cleansing and healing for all eruptions on the scalp or face of children; good for the tooth; produces a soft, creamy lather, nicely adapted to shaving or shampooing, removes dandruff, and gives health to the scalp without injuring the hair. PHOSPHATE TRADE MARK SOAP TESTIMONIALS: San Francisco Aug 27 [unreadable date] Gentlemen, I received a package of your soap (Phosphate Soap) and it gives me great pleasure to testify as to its superior excellence. As a toilet soap I have never seen anything to surpass it. It also possesses superior remedial qualities. I have used it in two cases of obstinate skin disease, one of intolerable itching, [unreadable word], the other was an [unreadable word]. In both great relief was obtained. Its emollient properties are remarkable. Respectfully, W.A. DOUGLASS. M.D. 126 O'Farrell St. To the Standard Soap Company. San Francisco July 18, 1807. Standard Soap Co. - Gentlemen. The ladies of my household, four in number, unite with me in pronouncing your PHOSPHATE SOAP the best ever tried for toilet use. It is noticeable that while it readily removes impurities from the skin, it also leaves undisturbed the natural oil so essential to the health. It is not too strong language to say that we are delighted with it. C.M. BAWTELLE, M.D. [unreadable words] Oakland, Cal. Aug 1, [unreadable date] Standard Soap Co - Gentlemen We have been giving your PHOSPHATE SOAP a pretty fair trial and we like it the best of any soap for toilet use that we have found on this Coast. We have little doubt that it will meet with universal favor. MRS. R. R. JOHNSTON. 1016 Kirkham street. We have used the PHOSPHATE SOAP in our practice, for cleaning indolent ulcers, and also skin diseases, pimples and eruptions of the face, so often soon in the young or both sexes, and can heartily recommend it to the public as the most remedial agent of the kind that we have used. - S.F. Medical Literary Journal. PHOSPHATE SOAP costs no more than other good toilet soaps, while its medicinal qualities make it worth ten times its price to every man, woman and child. The genuine merits of PHOSPHATE SOAP and persistent advertising will force every druggist groceryman and general denter to order it by the gross sooner or later. Ask for it in every store. The retail price is 26 cents per cake. We wish to sell it only at wholesale, but in case you cannot find it we will send a nice box of three cakes by mail, postage paid, on receipt of [unreadable number] cents in stamps. STANDARD SOAP CO., 420 Sacramento St. San Francisco Needham's Red Clover [unreadable paragraph] INTERNATIONAL HOTEL. Was and [unreadable words] St. San Francisco. $1.75 and $1.50 per day. U.C. PATRIDGE, [unreadable word] The Concord Coaches with the same of [unreadable paragraph] sure you get into the right Coach if you do not they will charge you. J. HUTCHISON'S NURSERIES OAKLAND, CALIFORNIA ESTABLISHED IN 1852 Has on Hand an Immense Stock of New and Used [unreadable words] green Trees and Ornamental Shrubbery. Cypress for Hedges [unreadable line] BED-ROCK PRICES. Cut Flowers [unreadable lines]. CAMELLINE FOR THE COMPLEXION AND TEETH The only Safe and Reliable Article of its Kind. Certificates of its Parity from well known Physicians accompany each battle PRICE 5 Do? And $1.00 Per Bottle. Sold by Druggists and general [unreadable word] Compound Oxygen Drs. Sparkey & [unreadable word] New [unreadable lines] Asthma, Bronchitis, [unreadable word], Dyspepsia, Headache, Debility, Neurnigia, Rheumatism and all Chrome and Nervous Disorders. Prepared by [unreadable line] USE AT HOME All directions in package Information and [unreadable words] E. MATHEWS, en Montigomer's street, San Francisco, Cal DOBYN'S SURE CURE For catarrah, cold in the head, neuralgia, toothache and all kindred cotton plants. FOUND AT LAST. H. LOOMIS, 320 SANSOME ST., S.F. 81 PLR? BOX. GREAT ENGLISH REMEDY is a certain cure for [unreadable word] Liability, lost [unreadable word], and all for [unreadable word] affects of youthful [unreadable word] and excesses. DR. [unreadable word] will agree to [unreadable lines[ this kind the Villal Restorative *under his special advice and treatment [unreadable paragraph] ST. DAVIDS A FIRST-CLASS LODGING HOTEL contains 120 Rooms. 785 Howard St. Near Third Street San Francisco. At Oakland ferry take Omnibus line ol Horse Cars to Cor. Howard and Third St. This home is especially des? Good as a comfortable home for gentlemen and ladies visiting the city from the interior. No dark rooms [unreadable word] and running water in each room. The floors are cursed with body Brummels carpet, and all of the furniture is made of solid black walnut. Each bed has [unreadable words] mattress, with an additional hair [unreadable word] mattress, making them the most [unreadable word] and healthy beds in the world. Ladies wishing to cook for themselves or families are allowed in from use of a large, public kitchen and dining room with dishes. Servable wash the dishes and serve up a [unreadable words] to 7 PM. Hot and cold baths, a large part [unreadable word] and reading room all free to guests. Price of single room per night 50 cents, per week from $2.30 upwards. R. [unreadable word] Proprietor. In making any purchase of writing in response to any advertisement to this paper, 70a? will [unreadable line].SAFE KIDNEY & LIVER CURE Is made from a Simple/Tropical [unreadable words] Remedy for all the diseases [unreadable word] lower part of the body - for torpid liver - headache - [unreadable word] dizziness, [unreadable word], malaria, and all [unreadable word] of the Kidneys, Liver and Urinary [unreadable word]. For [unreadable words] and during Pregnancy, it has [unreadable word]. It reasons [unreadable word] that make the blood, and hence is the best blood partner. It is the only known remedy that cures Bright's diseases for Diabetes and Women's more Diabetes Cure. For sale by Drugstores and all [unreadable words] per bottle. Largest bottle in the market. H. H. WARNER & CO., Rochester, N.Y. GOLD MINERS Working [unreadable word], Gravel and Quartz Mines. Save your Gold by using [unreadable word] plated [unreadable word] Pewter. The most economical and successful process now in use. Will [unreadable word] my plates to save a very much large percentage of gold than [unreadable words] for starving [unreadable words]. Old [unreadable word] plates [unreadable word] taken in exchange for new or replaced. [unreadable word] plated San Francisco Gold, Silver and Nickel [unreadable line]. New peaches Sond for Circular EDWARD DEMMROY, Proprietor. Awarded First Premium at Every Fair of the Mechanics' Institute for the Last Twelve Years. STAMP CABINET. JUST THE THING For Linen Marking, Etc. this cut represents a fac-simile of the Cabinet (open), which consists of fourteen articles, as follows: 1. - Name in Full, any Style Letter desired. 2.-Fancy initial of Surname. 3.-Initials of Entire Name.4.-Bottle of Indelible Ink, Blue or Black, warranted.5.-Bottle of Ink, Red,Blue,Violet or Green.6.-Pad and Distributor for Colored Ink. 7.-Pad and Distributor for Indelible Ink.8.-Bottle of Gold Bronze.9.-Bottle of Silver Bronze.10.-Carol's Hair Brush, for applying Bronze.11.-Twenty-five Transparent Cards, new styles.12.-Twenty-five Superfun Bristol Cards, assorted Colors. 13.-Patent Cabioet.11.-Card Case. Price. $3.00.Every man, woman and child should have one of these Cabinets, as it is something entirely new and [unreadable words], clean and compact. [unreadable word] good, it will do all of your Linen marking, card printing, etc., for years. The Indeliable Bok is manufactured expressly for this Cabinet and is warranted [unreadable words]. The pain, when saturated with ink, consists on the forme thousand unparalleled ends. Below we give a low samples of our styles of letters, any other style of letter desired [unreadable word]: No. 1 Thomas Smith. No. 3 Miss Nellie Fisher. No. 2 Bertha R. Spuds No. 4 Chas. S. Banlos. No. 5 Doss F. Moiller. BUSINESS STAMPS FROM $3.00 TO $5.00. According to Size, Style, &c. In ordering give the number of the style of letter desired, if any other style is wanted [unreadable word] a sample with the order These Cabinets will be [unreadable word] to say address to the [unreadable word] as receipt and price $3.00 in postage stamps or currency, charges prepaid. Address orders to CARLOS WHITE, $20 [unreadable word] Street. ([unreadable word] Wells. Cargo & Co. [unreadable word]. San Francisco. |
