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Show JOHN HENRY m .Jh I ON THE flsWlfE-- HORSE frJP(Sr TIAIEI. - J DY GEO. V. HODART, ("HUGH M'HUQH.") Dear Hunch: Your letter from Her-llti Her-llti Is horo, nnd nftor picking .nil tho "Hochsl" and "Ocsundheltsl" out of It wo'ro hep to tho fact that you'ro both having a swell tlmo among tho Qor-mans. Qor-mans. Toll Allco to bring mo homo a stein empty. I can got tho beer nnd tho "Proslts!" over hero. Your Gorman letter having created an ntmosphoro, It's up to mo to tell you about old EIslo Shulz, who Is spending n fow days nt Undo Polcr's homo across tho road. Elslo Is a sorf of n privileged chae actor In our family, having lived with Aunt Martha for over 20 years as n sort ot housekeeper. Yosterday morning, while Poaches nnd I woro nt breakfast, Elslo moan- "I Got It." dcrcd In! benrlng In her hand a wedding wed-ding Invitation which Hermnn hnd forwarded for-warded to hor from Plalndold. Elslo rend tho Invitation. "Mr, and Mrs. Rudolph Gandorkurds request dor honor of your presonco nt dor mnr-rlago mnr-rlago of dolr daughter, Vorbona, to Galahad 8chmalzcnborgor, at dor 1. ....... n9 .In ,.vl,1nd nfimnll Plltlnflnlll. N. J.. May first. R. S. V. P." "Vol!," said Elslo, "I know dor Gandorkurds Gan-dorkurds und I know dclr dnuglitor Vorbonn, und I know Galahad Schmal-zonborgcr; Schmal-zonborgcr; bo's a floorwnlkor In Kaucrhaupt's grocery storo, but I doan'd know vot Is dot 11. S. V. P. yet!" I gently kicked Peaches on tho In-Btcp In-Btcp under tho tnblo, nnd said to Elsie: "Well, Hint's n now ono on mo, nlso. Aro you suro It Isn't II. '& O. or tho C. II. 11. of N. J.? Thoso nro a couplo of railroads In Now Jcrsoy, but I nover henrd of tho R. 8. V. P.." For tho first tlmo In hor llfo Blnco she's been nbln to grab n sentence between be-tween tier teeth and shako tho pronouns pro-nouns out of It Elslo wnB amazed. She kept looking nt tho Invitation and snylng to herself! "H. 8. V. P.l Vot Ib It? I know dor honor of your presonco; I know dor pride's parents, but I don't know II. 8. V. P." All that day Elslo wandered through thu housu muttering to hcrsolt "II. S, V. P.l Vot Ib It? Ib It somo socret between der prldo und groom? R. S. V. P.l It aln'd my Initials, becauso dcy begin mlt E. 8. v0t Is dot R. 8. V. P.? Vot Is It? Vot Is It?" That evening wo wero nil at dinner when Elslo rushed In with n cry of Joy. "I got It! " sho said. "I havo untied dor meaning of dot It. S. V. P. It means Ileal Silver Voddlng Pros-ents!" Pros-ents!" t wan lust about to drink n class of wnter, so I changed my mind and nearly near-ly choked to death. Peaches tried to Bay something, which resulted In a gurgle In hor "Herman Would Yell Whoal" throat; tho Swodo servant girl rushed out In tho kitchen nnd broke n couplo of dishes, whllo Undo Poter, who was dining with us, fell off his chair on tho oat which had nover dono him any harm. EIslo's Interpretation ot that wedding wed-ding present Is going to set Herman Shulz back savcral dollars, or I'm not n foot high. This somo Herman Is a character, by tho way, Hunch. IIo's a horso tradnr by profession nnd a con thrower by nature. ' I must tell you. Hunch, nbout Hor- I- man whon ho lived and flourished In Rochostor, N. Y. A friend of ours named Will Hodgo also lived In Rochester at that tlmo, and Will went to Herman to buy n horso. Horman had at this tlmo an old sorrel sor-rel horso which would novor travel over hnlf a mile without balking. At somo remote period of Its llfo tho sorrel had been docked, but Hermnn Her-mnn docldod ho could soil tho horso quicker It It had u long tall, so ho gluod on a tall which ho kept In tho barn for this purpose. One of the peculiar features about this old sorrel was the fact that Just boforo ho would begin to balk and .stop dead In his tracks tho right car would lly back and stay there. And Just boforo ho Intended to start again tho left ear would fly back and Join tho right ear. Then as the old sorrel went Joyously on his way oncu moro both ears would stand out straight, and all would he well. Tho 'old sorrel always made theso signals, rain or shine. Anothor peculiar fact was this, that onco tho old sorrel's nose was pointed v for homo ho novor stopped, but went like tho wind whon It Isn't blowing very hard. Well, off goes Will Hodgo to Hor-man Hor-man Shulz to Inqulro nbout a horso, nnd Hermnn hltthes up tho old sorrel. " Whllo hitching Herman starts In to explain what a clover old beast tho sorrel Is, nnd by tho tlmo thoy got started out of tho barn In tho buggy Hodgo has an Idoa that ho Is riding behind Sysonby'd stepbrother. When they got out nbout hnlf n mllo hack wont tho sorrel's right enr, nnd Herman snld quickly: "Whon, whoa, boy I Whoal" Ot course, tho old sorrel Intended to whon anyway, but Hodgo didn't know that. Then Hermnn would point nt tho sconory with tho whip nnd describe It, all the tlmo watching tho old sorrel's sor-rel's loft cor for tho starting slgnnl. Presently back wont tho left enr, and thon Herman would stop describing describ-ing tho scenery, nnd with n loud "Oed dnpl" tho old sorrel would stnrt on onco moro. At tho end of anothor halt mile back would go tho sorrel's right oar, and Herman would yell "Whoa!" nnd thon say; "Horo on tho right I would llko to point out to you tho Methodist orphan nsylum, and over thero Is Chnso & Pendlolon's colo-bratcd colo-bratcd ,sash factory. Over thero on tho loft" Hut Just then tho sorrol's left enr would fly back, nnd Herman would havo to say "God-dap!" right In MnnnnnHSHMBMn "Saw a Man Running." tho midst of his description ot tho scenery. This wns kopt up nbout four times, and thon all of a sudden Hodgo lot out a ronr. "For tho love of n kind Henvonl" yelled Will, "don't you know that 1 camo out horo to sco this horso go and not to listen to your lectures on this bum sconory? Why, man, I havo lived In Itochcstor all my llfo nnd I know nil nbout tho snBh factories and tho orphan nsylums, nnd I am on familiar fa-miliar terms with every bit Ot scenery you enn shako n whip nt, so now I will thank you kindly to point tho rolns of this horso nnd mako him commonco." "Ach! oxcoos, oxcoos;" said Herman. Her-man. "You vlsh to sco him trnfel, is It? Sol I show you!" Thon Hermnn turned the old sorrel sor-rel around, pointing his noso nt tho oats In tho barn, and tho wlso old bonerack nover stopped running until thoy wero back homo. Hodgo bought tho horso on I ho strength of that return trip, That afternoon Hodgo took tho sorj rcl out for a llttlo oxcrclso. Pretty soon It began to rnln, tho gluo moiled, and when Will saw his horse's tall ( drop off ho nearly foil out of tho ' wagon. An hour later Horman was sitting In his bam door, when ho saw n mini running towards htm who looked something like Hodgo and something llko n vlgllanco committee. Tho man had n buggy whip In ono hand and a horse's tall In tho other, I und ho was traveling hell bent for I election. Herman took ono peep nt him, then he tell sideways out of tho barn window win-dow nnd hid for three dnyB In his collar. 1 I don't think Will nnd Hermnn over moot, hecnufle both ot them nro still nllvo and uninjured. Yours for tho Germans, JOHN. (Copyrlehl, IW by Q. W. Dllllnclmm Co.) |