Show k a w HARD LABOR Wilson Barrett used to tell an Amusing story against himself At a time when he had a lot of workers re re- redecorating redecorating decorating his private residence thinking to give them thema a treat be he asked If IC after work one evening they would like to have seats seats to go and see him play In The Lights o o o. London London Lon Lon- don don donat at the Princess theater They said they didn't mind if it they did and being complimentary tickets all went on a Saturday night to see their employers employer's performance At the end of the week Barrett's Barretts eye caught sight of ot this Item against each workmans workman's name on the pay pay- sheet Saturday night Four hours hours' overtime at Princess theater eight i shillings TIt hIJ TI Tit t. t BI ts Won by Losing Rastus Rastus-Ah Rastus Ah done proposed t t wife six months yo yo all married her Mose Mose Mose-Am Mose Am dat er fact Rastus Rastus an I don had ma rabbits rabbit's foot on mah mab at de time but she down Mose 1 with a sigh Rastus sigh Rastus yo all allsho allsho sho ho lucky in havin dat rabbit foot toot wid yo Deed yo Delicate Sarcasm If It I were to give you half a dol dollar dol lar tar said Mr simply situ sim ply go out and waste It it No I wouldn sir replied Mr Erastus Pinkley Id preserve It foh a souvenir sos so's I could show it to my friends an brag about how I come comeby comeby comeby by it only It-only only I doesn speck I could make em believe me Certainly NotI NotI NotI Not I wonder why It is that most of the masterpieces of literature and art have been produced by men I guess its it's because of the tremendous tremendous dous amount of concentration required to produce a good complexion A woman woman wom wom- I Ian an who does that simply hasn't time timeto to accomplish anything else NO MORE TO BREAK Y tyl I Il l a It Mrs Wise Wise The The housemaid broke another dish o of f that set this morn morn- Ing Mr Wise Wise Only Only one She's getting better belter and better How did that happen happen hap hap- pen Mrs Wise Wise Wise-It It was the last one of the set More Slang Slingers Of Orr all the pests that throng the tho land The worst weve we've ever er seen Is that poor wight who things It cry To 10 call his head a bean I IH I H His Is Authors 1 There is a pedicurist wh who Is Is al al' always always ways coming to this library What works do you recommend him Those of Foote and Bun Bunyan an Took rook the Hint Is it true that the widow proposed to Tompkins 7 Yes in a way Tompkins was calling callIng call call- Ing there one evening when she handed hand hand- handed ed cd him a novel to read entitled Put Yourself In His His' Place Tompkins took the hint No o Time to Waste Pa If it Mrs Brown Drown should comp come over and tell teU you that I had given her little littleboy littleboy boy a black eye what would you say I really dont don't know young man Well you'd better make up your mind quick she's at the door now Paradoxical Energy I J hear Smith is very busy in the new enterprise he has started of or making mak ing images for the fancy trade of littie littie lit lit- tie Oriental gods How can he lie be busy when hes he's leading so idol an existence Fulfilled Mrs Before Before we were married married married mar mar- ried you use used to sa say you could listen to m my sweet voice olce all nil night Mr Well Well at that time I had bad no Idea Id I'd ever have to do It Improving My taste In music is Improving said Bald Mr Ir How do you OU know Inquired his wife haughtily I l am getting so I can enjoy the music of a hand haM organ whether it has hasa a monkey with It or not not Some Heavy She You She You used to say that I was as aUtho all aU tho ho world to you He He Yes Yes and since wo weve we've e been married mar mar- tied ried 1 can appreciate exactly how poor felt s War Rations The Germans are on bread rations now But that's nothing The English In their time have been on water ra ra- ra The speaker was Simeon Ford the New York raconteur He continued Yes the English were on water rations rations ra ra- ra during tho the siege of ot Ruba Ruba-ruba Ruba ruba by bythe bythe bythe the ferocious and according according ac ac- ac cording to War Correspondent Frederick Fred crick erick Villiers this notice was put up In tWe Hie Ruba Ruba-ruba Ruba ruba hotel washroom Please do not use soap when you wash as the water Is required for the tea ONE BETTER 1 1 L Lt t l J h 11 k Dobbs Dobbs likes to hear himself talk Is that all you OU have against him Could anything be worse Certainly Dobbs used to like to hear himself sing Brevity Oh brevity's the soul of ot wit It beats all verbal blustering But brevity Is not a bit bitOf bitOf Of Ot good for tor filibustering The Primrose Path The small boy at school ought to have an easy time with his lessons lessona Just now Why so With the war making a mess of the geography books and a revival of simplified spelling coming along Soon Will Though seems to have found the road to happiness Oh yes Hes He's found It but he isn't traveling it right now No Its the trolley line to the baseball park The Grand Tour Mazie Mazie-Artie Mazie Artie where are we going on our honeymoon Artie Around Artle-Around Around the world darling They are going to give it in seven reels at the corner picture show The Exception He The He-The The trouble with the average married woman is that she hasn't enough to do to keep her busy She She She-No No not unless she has mar ma married ed eda d da a man to reform him Judge him Judge Sentimental Hows that Kitty Youve You've wet the ashes so well today Oh her artilleryman left her so soshe soshe soshe she wet them with her tears tears tears-Hu- Hu- Hu I LI Listy ty Prague I Just the Idea Did you ou see where the post office mcc proposes to have an aviation delivery service That would be the very thing tot fOE writers of airy Iry persiflage OLD t v the trouble with you and your you fiance flance Is he Jealous Well he Isn't exactly Jealous but buthe's lies he's what you might call old fash toned He doesn't want me to be engaged engaged en en- to anybody else The Question The first thing you know you will willbe willbo willbo bo be called a boss said the cautious politician That doesn't worry me replied the theman theman theman man with a heavy Jaw What I 1 w want nt to know la is Is If It they give me tho title can 1 I make good Its Ita Qualifications I wonder how a camel race with witha a giraffe would pan out Tho The camel would naturally hump ump Itself but I 1 guess the giraffe e win by a neck ne I 1 o. f W Ii |