| Show 4 SERIAL STORY I 1 EXCUSE 1 t ME x I 1 I Novelized No from the Comedy of the tho Same Name I J By ILLUSTRATED B rt From the PI Flay Photographs y s Produced cJ of By fly Henry W. W Savage Sva e ef f ht l by U. U K fly FIT C Co 0 s SYNOPSIS ordered to the 1 Harry Mallory Is Ia Newton Philippines He an and MarjorIe but wreck of or taxicab prevents pre pre- pre pre- to LO elope decide i 3 clde to vents their seeing minister on the way Is Ls tak- tak Transcontinental the train Part Porter has a lively on passengers Englishman and Ira Ita Lath- Lath with an The 11 Yanke getting to the ve u an n exciting t bound iraln LUtle Wellington train neno to get boards Mrs Jimmie condition Later n maudlin audUn bound for or Reno fleno with She lai p I ars ts Whit Whit- Mrs Sammy Samm t r arne for tor nto Latter Latuer r blames Mrs Classmates of ot Mal Mal- her marital troubles aDry berth CHAPTER VI Continued like a dog Ashton Ashton Intervened e manger manger- and dragged ber her off rf to o leaving the man to sent Beat se young exclaim Some Som tamarind tamarind him Another young can an behind growled Cut out the tamarinds and et to business Mallory will wUl be here any ny minute I hate liate- think to-think what hell he'll do to us when he be sees what weve we've done to Ainu him irn Oh Oh he be wont won't dare to fight in the i presence r sence of his little bridey Do you ou see the port porter r in there Yes suppose he objects Well we have have havethe the tickets Well We'll claim its it's our section till Mallory and J Irs Mallory com comet come They moved on into the car where the thc porter confronted them When he be besaw saw they were loaded with bundles bundies bun- bun dies of all ll shapes and sizes he lie waved them away with scorn The emigrant runs only and From behind the first mass of pack pack- ages lages came a brisk military answer Yon black ho hound nd About face face face- forward march Section number one The porter retreated do the aisle I apologizing glibly me for questioning you but you alls baggage looked kind o 0 at first The two young oung men dumped their their parcels on the seats and began to unwrap un un- un- un wrap raPi them th m in hastily If Mallory catches us hell he'll kill us said al Lieutenant Shaw Lieutenant Hudson only laughed and drew out a along along along long streamer of white satin ribbon ribbon Its Its slimmer glimmer and the glimmering eyes rot ft the yo young joung ng man n Mrs Whit Whit- comb so BO much that after a little hesitance hesi- hesi tance e the she moved forward followed by the jealous Ashton Oh Dh what's up she ventured It looks l like something bridal intuition Talk X lk about womanly iaia aTa Lieutenant Hudson with an In- In vj salaam And then they explained to her that their l classmate at West Point being I ordered d suddenly to the Philippines had arranged i arranged to elope with his beloved Newton had asked them to get g et t the tickets and check the baggage while he stopped at a ministers minister's to get get spliced and hike bike for Manila by this train Having Maying recounted this plan in the fun full belief that it was even at that moment moment mo mo- ment being carried out successfully Lieutenant Hudson with a ghoulish smile mlle explained Being old friends of the bride and room oom we want to fix their section up I in style and make them truly comfort comfort- comfortI I able ble Delicious gushed Mrs Whitcomb oo But you ought to have some rice and old shoes Heres the rice Hudson Heres the old shoes said Shaw Lovely cried Mrs Whitcomb mb but ihen she grew soberer I should think though that they they the the young couple couple- Would have preferred a stateroom Of course said Hudson almost blushing lushing but it was taken This was the thc best we could do for them I That's why we want to make it nice and like bride said Shaw Per haps you could help us us-a us a womans woman's Oh Id I'd love to to she he glowed hastening has- has tAming into the section among the young young men and the bundles The Unusual unusual unusual un- un usual stir attracted the porters porter's sus sus- r I He came forward with wItha a look cot of ot authority Souse me but wha what's wha-what's what's all this Vanish get Vanish get out said Hudson poking a coin at him As he turned to obey Mrs Whitcomb checked him with Oh Porter could you get us us a hammer and some nails I k The porter almost blanched Good L Miss you aint to drive S. S nails In woodwork is you That woodwork was to him what the altar altaris la is to the the priest But Hudson resorting to heroic hypnotized him with a two- two dollar bill bm Here tal take e this and see nothing hear nothing say nothing rhe The porter caressed it and chuckled Im blind deaf and speechless He turned away only oily to come back at atton ton an onro c with whim a timid me Y Y i M. M ct vet growled led Hudson Anxiously the porter pleaded I just want to ast one question IB Is you all fixin up UD for a bridal couple Foolish question number eight million three forty s said ld Shaw Answer Answer Answer An no we are I The porters porter's face glistened like fresh stove polish as be gloated over the prospect I tell you it'll b be to have a bridal couple on bode This dog on Reno fleno train dont don't carry much but divorcees Im I'm just for a a bridal cou cou- pie Brile coup le 1 came a voice like an echo that had bad somehow become become become be be- come Intoxicated In transit It was Little Jimmie Wellington looking hooking for more sympathy Z zis 8 about brile coup couple e 1 Why heres here's Little Buttercup sang out young Hudson looking at him In amazed amusement Did I 1 somebody say youre you're preparing for brile e coup LIEm Lieutenant Shaw grinned I dont don't know what you understood but that's what were we're doing Immediately Immediate y Wellington's great face began to churn and work like a big eddy in a river Suddenly he was weeping Excuse these tears tiemen but I 1 once once once-I I was once a bride b-b-bride myself He lie looks like a whole wedding party party party par par- ty was Ashton's only comment on the copious grief It was poor Welling Welling- Wellington's tons ton's fate to hunt as ns vainly for sympathy sympathy sym sym- pathy as Diogenes for honesty The decorators either ignored him or shunted him bim aside The They Interested Interested Inter Inter- ested sted in a strange contri contrivance ance of ribbons ribbons ribbons rib rib- bons and a box that Shaw produced That Hudson explained is a little little litLie lit lit- tle Lie rice trap We hang that up there and md when the bridal couple sit down biff bitt biff a shower of rice all ll over them Its It's bad eh Everybody agreed that it was a happy appy thought and even Jimmie Wellington Wellington Wel Wel- lington like a a a. great baby bounding g from rom tears to laughter on the instant was as chortling A trap That's at s otly splendid splendid modern times Umes I 1 must stick around and nd see her when she flops And then hen he lurched forward like a too- too obliging elephant Let me help you Mrs Whitcomb who had ad now mounted a step ladder and poised herself her her- self elf as gracefully as possible shrieked with alarm as she saw Wellington's bulk rolling toward her frail support I If It Hudson and Shaw had not been football veterans at West Point and lad ad not known just what to do when the he center rush comes bucking the theline theline theme line me they could cOllId never have bave blocked that hat flying wedge But Dut they the checked him and Imp Impelled him backward through his own curtains into his own berth erth Finding himself on his bis back he decided decided de de- de- de to remain there And there he remained oblivious of at the carnival preparations going on just outside his canopy j CHAPTER VII H q 14 The Masked Minister Being an angel must have this great I antage ar at least that one may s sit t in inthe the he grandstand overlooking the earth and enjoy the ludicrous blunder of that hat great blind mans man's buff we call life lie This This' This This' night if any angels were watching Chicago the Mallory up mix-up I 1 t I j q bI 4 A Mrs Walter Waiter Temple j must have given them a good laugh or a q good cry cry according according to their natures na nar na- na tures lures Here were Mallory and Marjorie still merely engaged bitterly regretting regretting regretting regret regret- ting their inability to get married and to continue their journey together t There in the car were the giggling conspirators pr preparing paring a bridal mocker mockery mockery mock mock- ery er for their sweet confusion Then the angels might have nudged one another and said Oh its it's all right now There goes the minister hurrying to their very car Mallory has the license in hi hip pocket and here comes the parson Hooray And then the angelic cheer must have died out as the one great hurrah of a crowded ball ground ball ground is quenched in air when the home teams team's vitally needed home bome run swerves serves outside the theline theline theline line and drops useless as a stupid foul ball In a shabby old hack back were two of the happiest runaways that ever ever t I sought a train They were not miserable miserable miser miser- I able like the young couple cauDle In the taxi taxi- i cab They he were white-haired white both I They had been married for thirty I years Yet this was their real honeymoon honeymoon honey honey- I moon their real elopement Tho The little woman In the timid gray bonnet clapped her hands and tittered Uttered like a schoolgirl Oh Walter I l' cant can't believe bellevo were we're really going to leave Ypsilanti for tor a while Oh but youve you've earned It after thirty years ears of being a preacher Hush Dont Don't let me hear you say ay the awful word said the little old I Iman man in tho the little black hat lint and the Im m tired fitting close black bib so of af It Sally I 1 dont don't want anybody on the tr train fn to know it They cant can't help guessing It with your our collar buttoned behind And then the tho amazing minister actually actually act act- dared to say Heres where I change It around What's more ho he took off his actually did It Actually collar and buttoned it to the front The old carriage carr age seemed seem d almost almost to rock with wIlh the earthquake of the deed Why Walter Temple his wife wIre ex ex- ex- ex claimed What would they say in Ypsilanti U rh never know b he answered defiantly I Dut But your bib she said Ive thought of that too he lo cried as h he whipped it off orr and stuffed stuffed It into a han handbag 1 ag Look what I Ev live v bought And h h dangled before her startled eyes a long affair which the tho sudden light from a passing post lamp revealed revealed re ra- re- re to be nothing less than a flaring flar ing red tie The old lady touched it to make sure she was not dreaming it Then omitting further parley with Uh fate she snatched ed it away put It round his neck and since her arms were embracing embracing em em- m bracing him kissed him bim twice before she he knotted the ribbon Into a flaming bow She sat back and regarded the vision a u moment then flung her arms round him and hu hugged ged him till he gasped Watch out watch out watch out Dont Don't crush my ay cigars Cigars Cigars she echoed in a adale laze daze And then the astounding husband produced them in proof Genuine Lillian Russells five Russells-five five cents straight But I nevel saw you smoke taken a puff purr since I 1 was a ayoung ayoung ayoung young fellow he grinned wagging his bis head But now its it's my vacation and Im I'm going to smoke up She squeezed his hand with an earlier ardor Now youre you're the old Walter Temple I 1 used to know Sally he said Ive been traveling through life on a half fare ticket Now Im I'm going to have bave my little fling tUng And you brace up too and be the old mischievous mischievous mischievous mis mis- chievous Sally I 1 used to know Arent Aren't you glad to Se e e away from rom tho those e s sew W r I Ing circles and gossip-bees gossip and Ugh Dont Don't ever mention them ghe lie he sh ci Then rhen she too felt a tinge of I If you start start to smoking I think Ill I'll take up flirting once more He pinched her cheek and laughed laughe lAs l. l As the saying Is go as far as you desire de- de desire desire de de- sire and Ill I'll leave the coast clear lie Ue kept his promise too for they were no sooner on the train and snugly snugly snugly snug snug- ly bestowed In section five than he hewa's was wa's up and off Where are you going she asked To the smoking room he swaggered swaggered swaggered swag swag- brandishing a dangerous looking looking look looking ing cigar Oh Walter Valter she snickered I feel like a young runaway You look like one Be careful not notto notto notto to let anybody know that youre you're ahe a ahe ahe a he lowered his voice voice Han an old preachers preacher's preachers preacher's preach preach- ers er's wife Im as as' ashamed of it as you are she whispered Then he threw her a kiss and a wink She threw him a kiss and winked too And he went along the aisle eyeing his cigar gloatingly As he entered the smoking-room smoking lighted light light- ed the weed veed and blew out a great puff with a sigh of rapture who could have taken him with his feet cocked up and his red tl tie rakishly askew for a minister And Sally herself was busy disguising disguising ing herself loosening up her hah hai o- o o qu smiling the primness fUt ut of Gf f the 5 set corners of her mouth month nd hd even let even let the truth be told at all t EVen even ve 1 passing a pink powdered tuff fuff over oyer her pale cheeks with guilty gunt ur- ur Thus arrayed she was soon j the conspirators bede the bower for the expected bride and groom She was the youngest and most mischievous ous of the lot She felt herself a bride again and vowed to protect this timid little wife to come from too much hilarity hi hl- lal larity at at the hands of the conspirators TO BE CONTINUED |
