Show s OF DY KENNETT EIS u I rt MELISSA WOULD HAVE NO PESSIMIST PESSI PESSIMIST PESSI- PESSI MIST AROUND THE HOUSE If you have tears prepare to shed them now now sa said d Mr Mra addressing addressing addressing ad ad- dressing her maternal maiden Aunt Jane If It you have sighs to heave heave to my hearties heartier just hearties just just so long longas as they arent aren't too heavy Davy and you dont don't run any risk of straining yourself your your- self Why should I Inquired Aunt Jane without taking her eyes from the needle that she was threading On general genera principles dearie replied replied replied re re- re- re plied Mrs Its a a. world of sadness and sorrow where the four- four flusher Is ia exalted as one might say If one used slang and where honest merit gets It about half way vay around between the front and back collar buttons to adopt a metaphor We are decadent degenerate tainted auntie The trail of the serpent Is over it all and the canker Is at our hearts Its It's perfectly scandalous Aunt Jane knotted her thread and then looked over her spectacles at ather ather ather her niece who had plumped her comely person upon the lounge and was arranging the cushions to suit her angle of That was Mr Megrim wasn't It Melissa she asked It was Mr Megrim auntie as you surmise replied Mrs l Mr Megrim all dolled up and looking too sweet for anything Ho He would be a handsome man If he didn't show so much of his lower teeth dont don't you think But when society Is rotten to the core and the sp spirit it of greed dominates the nation its it's hard for a aman aman aman man of any sensibility to keep his lip up from drooping I Im I'm m afraid some time he will step on it and have a serious serious serious seri seri- ous fall It would naturally be serious serious serious seri seri- ous if h had it Aunt Jane lane made a few stitches and I remarked that frivolity was not an altogether commendable thing In her I opinion opinion She quoted Longfellow to toI I the effect that life was real and life Ufo I was was earnest And then some dearie said Mrs Its SIts a vale of tears and anda a a. a hollow mockery and one a one ahem ahem lem- lem thing after another That's Mr MeI Megrims Megrim's Megrims Megrim's Me Me- grims grim's idea of it a and d at that life Isn't I as bad as the people who are more I or less enjoying it It wasn't so abI absolutely absolutely ab ab- ab- ab soJu elY awful before the fatal epidemic epidemic epidemic epi epi- I demic struck Virtue and Honor and Decency and Justice and Truth and andI I carried them off but now Its It's something something some some- thing fierce business says f fi 11 Mr Megrim I pause for a reply i Give It up Robbery That's what It Is Cheating and robbing extorting extorting extort extort- I ing all that the traffic will bear What do wo we find In politics Do I hear any I reply I 1 can answer in one word Graft Demagoguery maam ma'am Mendacity Mendacity Mendacity Men Men- maam The politician of the present day from president to pound- pound master Is either a self seeking rasal rascal rascal ras ras- cal al or a n. mischievous dangerous fanatic fa fa- fa- fa Have we any literature any art We dont don't even understand the meaning of the words The rhe publishers are turning out tons of r rot t every year and we read It because we wo are incapable of properly appreciating anything else Sentimental rot blood and th thunder n er rot erotic rot not worth the paper its it's printed on What's medicine Humbug and quack quack- quackery ery What's education What are our preachers Hypocrites or sensation mongers What are our Judges V Venal nal vampires maam ma'am Oh its it's a cheerful outlook dearie believe believe be be- lieve me if it you take uko Mr Megrims Megrim's word for It it I m Well Well It it seems to me theres there's a I good deal of truth In what he says remarked Aunt Jane jj And the worst of It Is the hopelessness hopelessness hope- hope of at conditions said Mrs The Tho rich are getting rich rich- jr c at dad and the poor poorer and tho the cost ref of ot living higher every every day and I II Wouldn't wonder If ff the mean temperature temperature tem tem- of ot i IB is steadily rising I too I d declare e a auntie nUe I fool feel quite discouraged Two or three weeks ago I 1 was pretty hearted light for a alady alady alady lady In half mourning The world seemed to be a good little old world after all tra la I 1 thought I 1 heard quite a few little birds warbling merrily merrily merrily mer mer- rily and it seemed to me that the sun shone brightly every once in a while Then Mr Megrim came along and the band played the Dead March from Saul The The sky became overcast overcast overcast over over- cast gloom enveloped everything ravens croaked dismally and wet blankets blankets blankets blan blan- fell with a a. a dull soggy thud allover all allover allover over the shop I began to reaUze that all was vanity and vexation of spirit No there isn't one single ray of at hope athwart the murky horizon you take it from me dearie deario Did Mr Megrim have anything particular to say Melissa asked Aunt Jane with apparent careless careless- ness He might havo have had bad but he didn't say It it replied Mrs He forgot himself for a few brief moments moments moments mo mo- ments and began to talk of the joys of married life and the charm of or congenial congenial con can genial companionship There was an unmistakable gleam in his eye Forget it Mr Megrim I said firmly yet sorrowfully Consign It to abysses of oblivion You know as aswell aswell aswell well as I do what the divorce statistics statistics statistics statis statis- tics are You know the brutality the stupidity the tho inconsistency and depravity do- do of man and the vanity levity f. f extravagance and emotional emotional emotional emo emo- folly foUy of woman and how perfectly perfectly per per- absurd it is to expect anything anything anything any any- thing but misery as a result of at their union unIon excepting excepting children and you know what children are nowadays There are surely exceptions Mrs he saidI saidI said I said My Iy dear man you must be crazy to think so Really Mr Megrim Megrim Me Me- grim Im I'm concerned about you Ill I'll tell you what you do Trot along home or better still go to Rome come restaurant restaurant restaurant res res- and old order r a light repast of B jI I q I F I i 1 n rp 1 It Aunt Jane Looked Over Her Spectacles at Her Niece cucumbers and milk and lobster salad and Swiss cheese and pie and when youve you've eaten It you'll feel more like your dear dyspeptic self Well he got mad at that and went Poor man said Aunt Jane pity pit I 1 wonder if he isn't rather injudicious injudicious in in- judicious in th the matter of diet Well VeIl I think hes he's careless Mrs answered This is one onetime onetime onetime time any anyway ay that he bit into a Dead Sea peach and got a a. distinct flavor of lemon Copyright 1912 by W W. G. G Chapman |