| Show OF S. S JY o oW oY Y W F FC C Affil w 4 I MELISSA BELIEVES IN HOMEGROWN HOME HOME- HOMEGROWN HOMEGROWN GROWN CHARITY Mrs l was sitting at her desk with the tho pearl mother end nd ofa of ofa a a. pen ven between her ber teeth and her fine eyes directed to infinite remoteness when her beT maternal maiden Aunt Jane broke in on her reflections Are you going to give Mr Balm n check for the Anti Caste Anti Caste society socIety society so so- Melissa she inquired Mrs laid down her pen and picked up a letter at which she smiled in her most inscrutable Mona MonaLisa MonaLisa MonaLisa Lisa manner Im going to give him hima a check Yes dear she replied Then she added But not for his Its It's more of a n checkmate to a proposition proposition proposition tion for a helpmate I 1 was engaged in declining an engagement to be more nipping explicit explicit nipping the idea of nuptials In other words ever since Mr Balm Dalm turned up I have been deciding to turn him down and hes he's just called for a decision Do you get me dearie I suppose I understand said Aunt Jane but I 1 must say sayI sayI say say- I I know It it sighed Mrs You cant can't help it You are going to tell me that I 1 ought to consider It a n. privilege to help Mr Balm to relieve the suffering and succor the oppressed oppressed oppress oppress- ss- ss cd ed and that b hes he's s a noble nohle minded high-minded and benevolent character Its It's true to too and likewise its it's too true but you see honey boney Im I'm not a n. nor noram noram noram am I 1 I-a I a Chinese famine victim nor a Solomon islander I am not a n. resident of or whatever it is and I Iwas Iwas Iwas was never nearer a n. rubber plantation than the plant in Uncle Johns John's front widow on Calumet avenue consequently consequently conse consequently T X couldn't expect to 10 be ameliorated or relieved or rescued which I might want to be theres there's no telling Its all very well to sneer at worthy objects said Aunt Jane warmly but I cant can't imagine anything finer than Mr Balms Balm's devotion to the cause causo of humanity When I think how he gives U up his bIs entire time and andI I energy tf to philanthropy It seems to tome tome tome me that I 1 cau cant can't t admire him bim Its Ils awfully dear and sweet of you you declared Mrs and I wouldn't wouldn't wouldn't would would- nt want to shock you by intimating that Mr Balm was a benevolent boob or a sympathetic simp limp but there are such persons dearie nevertheless I liko to see a mans man's eyes bedimmed with willi a n. kindly dew of pity as well as the next lady and I think its it's perfectly perfect perfect- ly lovely to burn with righteous Indignation indignation indignation indig Indig- nation an and melt with generous sympathy sympathy sympathy sym sym- pathy but bu ji it gives me a pair pain amountIng amounting amounting amount amount- ing to anguish when all the bedimming bedimming bedim bedim- ming and burning and melting Is at long range The trouble with Mr Balm Is hes he's too sighted far and he couldn't see Bee a deplorable condition close by to save his swan-like swan neck unless he looked at it through the wrong end of a telescope I like people of wide sympathies remarked Aunt Jane Id sooner see them all aU wool Mrs MerrIt id retorted theres too much shoddy In these extra br breadths I never did have a n. good ear for long long- distance calls and dearie when Im I'm writhing beneath the French heel beel of a tyrannical Swedish cook or groaning under the pitiless extortion of my dressmaker and being snubbed by hy the tho I automobile and winter golf goU caste I need sympathy myself and lots of it If f my husband were slopping lopping the entire entire en en- tire Ure stock on indigent and homeless Hottentots I know Id I'd feel feci hurt and want to throw things that hurt a little v worse orse P J Th That t seems to tope a very selfish point of view Melissa commented Aunt hunt JaneI JaneI Jane I wouldn't Yonder wonder admitted Mrs us Still till It If he had bad any sympathy sym sym- athy pathy or help to spare I wouldn't die dio- him from applying it to a few worthy objects this side of Indias India's toral Loral strand There are a few chil chil- I dren being sacrificed to the Sacred Cotton Bale down south that might be saved by a little concentrated philanthropy philanthropy phil phU- and the of the tho sweat shops and fac factories orIes are claimIng claiming claim claim- Ing an occasional girl victim In our free bee and happy land not land not to go any farther If Mr Balm would burn burnand and melt and get weepy over a few thousand thousand thou thou- sand oppressions and body and BOU soul st in the United States States and and then take oft off his simper and his frock coat and black necktie and get busy I might be stronger for him Mrs color had heightened heighten heighten- ed and she spoke with unusual earn earn- estness Not that Id I'd grudge a two dollar subscription now and then to the Bubonic of Bombay if I thought that they needed it worse than the tenants tenants' of Trinity church she continued but these societies of ot the Bumpy Dumpy Brewed Benefactors of Antipodean Antipodean Antipodean An An- Aliens give me a sensation of lassitude and when it comes to picking a husband I want a man who will clean up our own back ack yard before before before be be- fore he takes his muck rake and wheelbarrow over Into the next block That in effect is what Im I'm writing to Mr Balm auntie dear Very Verv Verwell well my love said Aunt J Jane me resignedly Pray excuse me for Interrupting you Only the charity that begins at home usually stays there Its a pretty good place for It to stay at that that replied d Mrs I dont don't know anywhere that its it's more needed Copyright 1912 by W W. G. G Chapman 1 tt r i lk A Noble Minded High Benevolent Character |
