| Show The l Tale of the Galloping Tooth HELLO ELLO EVERYBODY 1 1 You may have been in France during the unpleasantness unpleasantness unpleasantness that went on there in 1914 You may have seen towns shelled to a crumbling ruin You may have seen regiments regiments regiments regi regi- ments decimated by poison gas You may have seen men torn to pieces by bursting grenades and families pauperized and nd tui turned out of their homes by the onward plunge of the great German war machine You may think you know all the horrors of war but Don Aspinwall of Rochelle Park N N. J. J will tell you you haven't seen anything Don was somewhere in the Villers Cotteret area on special special special cial duty with the Second division A deafening barrage had been rolling back and forth across the lines for more than two hours The Ger Germans ans were tossing every form of pyrotechnic pyrotechnic pyrotechnic pyro pyro- display in their bag of tricks Huge roared overhead like great express trains Machine-gun Machine bullets zipped by An occasional ash can from a er battery battery battery bat bat- tery would tumble lazily through the early morning haze to spread itself with a devastating roar in front of the barbed wire It was a swell time to be someplace else But horror Horror nothing The real horror was going on right inside Don face Don Had a Toothache It was undoubtedly the outstanding disaster of the whole war It had been going on for 24 hours and Don was convinced convinced convinced con con- vinced that i if it went on two hours longer nothing could keep the Germans from taking Paris And Don was miles away from any possible possible pos pos- sible agency of relief The only thing that could have stopped that ache would be a well-placed well bullet and Don was all aU in favor of that I tell you he says the actual Gospel truth I poked my head over overt t 1 0 1 y r J He had no anesthetic but glancing behind me I knew the worst A stolid-faced stolid six foot Yorkshire orderly had sneaked in the top of the trench several times and gave Jerry the Bronx Salute Inthe In Inthe Inthe the sincere hope that some German officer might take offense and order me erased with a machine-gun machine field battery or some other similarly similarly sim sim- effective weapon Attempts at Suicide Came Back Labeled No Dice But no German officer would have been sucker enough to halt such an effective blow to the Allied cause All Dons Don's attempts at suicide came back to him labeled No uNo Dice He had to wait walt until he was relieved from duty and then in a semi delirium he be lit out for the nearest British medical unit two miles away Eventually he got there and was ushered into the presence of ot a abrass abrass abrass brass hat who turned him over to a young medical lieutenant It took him five minutes to diagnose the case of acute toothache says Don and then he seated me in an Improvised dental chair and looked worried It seems there wasn't any local anesthetic in that part of ot the country and what and well what to do Don told him what to do He told him to get that tooth out of ot there and to hell with the anesthetic That didn't seem quite cricket to to the young Englishman He demurred for a moment Then he seemed to have an idea and said All right Yank But I say it will well bally hurt you more than it does me With those words of comfort says Don he stepped out for a minute When he came back I watched him open a shabby black bag and produce a too none-too-clean pair of ordinary gas pliers He had no anesthetic but glancing behind me I knew the worst A stolid faced six-foot six Yorkshire orderly had sneaked in He stood at my back toying with the barrel of a massive British Webley navy type revolver and gauging the distance to certain sections of my skull with a practiced eye I didn't have long to think about that though have any time to think about it at all The minute he turned his head he felt something hit bit it that felt relt like a nudge from a howitzer There was a blinding flash and a million stars wheels pin constellations and blue lights danced before his eyes I uI began to fall into a deep black void he says At last I thought the Germans had bad planted a nice juicy shell under the dental chair and I wa was all nil ready to put forth my hand and andr r receive my harp and halo Then I began to be aware of a disconcerting disconcerting disconcerting discon discon- fact I could still feel a dull throb where my toothache had been and now there was another dull throb in the back of or ormy my head Gradually both old and new throbs Increased In intensity The black before Dons Don's eyes faded to a gray haze and through it he began to see seethe seethe seethe the features of the young British medical attendant There was a large moving blur behind the attendant The haze cleared a little more and Don could see it was the Yorkshire orderly The orderly was calmly wiping the butt of his Webley and Don distinctly remembers noticing that several brown hairs still adhered to that butt Dons Don's hair is brown too He says sas that might or might not have been a coincidence And What a Climax And then the doctor spoke Don eo couldn't hear what he was saying very well but the picture of what happened was beginning to take shape in his brain That Yorkshire Yorkshire Yorkshire York York- shire orderly had been the anesthetic He had socked Don on the coco with the butt of that revolver And now the medical attendant seemed to be apologetic about it ft Don stopped him Dont worry doe doc he said Its all right with me It was a swell job even if your our anesthetic was a bit rough The attendant shook his head hend and began to repeat his words Then says Don my confused brain began to function as I heard that Englishman Englishman Eng lishman say Oh Im I'm sorry Yank but I haven't done anything yet you know You see my orderly worked too fast and I had to wait until you come out of ot it SO YOU COULD TELL ME WHICH WAS Released by Western Newspaper Union t. t 5 p |
