Show what 0 bb d thinks 5 about Western Hostelries SAN AN FRANCISCO CALIF They have mighty fine hotels in this town Ive I've stayed at several of them thern and friends of mine have been put putout putout putout out of some of the others And once I enjoyed a fire scare here when the alarm at a a. a m m. brought to the lobby a swarm of at moving picture actors without without without with with- out any makeup on and not much else This w was s In the era of the silent silent films but you wouldn't 4 have dreamed it to hear the tho remarks of an hysterical lady star when she discovered discovered discovered dis dis- dis- dis covered that her chow had been for- for IrvIn S. S Cobb gotten The current husband also was temporarily missing mIssing missIng miss- miss Ing but she was comparatively calm about that She probably figured a husband could be picked up almost any time whereas darling little M Ming ng Poo had a long pedigree and represented represented rep rep- resented quite a financial investment investment investment invest invest- ment and anyhow was a permanent fixture in her life Through the strike here the travelIng traveling traveling trav trav- eling public seemed to make out Maybe visitors followed the old southern custom stop custom stop with kin kinfolks Think though how great would have been the suffer suffering ng had the strike occurred during prohibition days when transient guests might have perished of thirst without bright ht uniformed lads to bring them first-aid first packages in the handy hip hip- pocket sizes Bellhops qualified as lifesavers those times Humans In tho the Raw A AS S I behold vast numbers of fellow fellow fellow fel fel- fel- fel low b bel beings e i n g s strolling the beaches yes and the public thoroughfares thoroughfares thoroughfares thor thor- too while wearing as few clothes as possible possible and and it seems to tobe tobe tobe be possible to wear very few indeed in in- deed deed I I dont don't know whether to admire admire admire ad ad- mire them for their courage or sympathize sympathize sympathize sym sym- with them In their suffering or deplore their inability to realize that they'd be easier on the eye i if they'd quit trying to emulate the raw oyster which oyster which never has been pretty to look upon and generally speaking Is an acquired taste any any- how For a gentleman who ord ordinarily bundles himself himsel in heavy garments clear up to his Adams Adam's apple this w warm rm weather strip-act strip entails a lot lotof lotof lotof of preliminary torture At first our g gallant llant exhibitionist resembles a forked stalk of celery bleached out in the cellar Soon he is one large red blot on the landscape with fat water blisters spangling his brow until he looks as if Uhe he were wearing a chaplet o of Malaga grapes In Inthe Inthe Inthe the next stage he peels like th the wallpaper wall wall- paper on an Ohio valley parlor after flood time Destructive Hired Help S SOMEBODY found a stained glass window in an English church dating b back ck to A. A D D. D but still intact And from the ruins of a Roman villa they've dug out a marble marble marble mar mar- ble figure of Apollo the Apollo the one the mineral water was named after after In in ina a perfect state although 2000 years old These discoveries are especially interesting to this family as tending to show that hired help isn't what it must have been in hi the ancient time We once had a maid aid of the real old Viking stock who with the tile best intentions on earth broke everything everything everything every every- thing she laid finger on Moreover she could stand flatfooted in the middle of a large room and cause treasured articles of virtu such as souvenirs of the St St. Louis Worlds World's fair and the china urn I won for superior spelling back in 1904 at the Elks' Elks carnival to leap to the floor and be smashed to atoms She didn't have to touch them or even go near them I think she did it by animal magnetism or capillary attraction attraction at at- traction or something of ot that nature The first time we saw the Winged Victory Mrs C bb and I decided it must have been an ancestor of Helsa who tried to dust It with it-with with the disastrous results familiar to all lovers lov lov- lovers ers of classic statuary The Reaping Season C CERTAIN CERTAIN ERTAIN crops may not have VJ done so well due to weather conditions or as ns some hard die Republicans would probably contend contend contend con con- tend because of New Deal control But on the other hand hasn't it been a splendid ripening season for sit downs walk-outs walk ups shut-ups lockouts lockouts lockouts lock lock- outs and picket lines It makes me think of the little story the fue late Myra Kelly used to tell of the time when she was a public public pub pub- lic lie school teacher on New Yorks York's East Side She was questioning her class of primary-grade primary pupils touching on the c callings of ot their rev ra parents She came to one tiny sad sad eyed eyed little girl shabby and thin and shy Rosie she asked at what does your father work Mein poppa he dont don't never work Teacher said Rosie he do anything at all Oh Well what does he do He strikes IRVIN S. S COBB wU Wm Se Service |